When you stopped caring about staying in good shape?

I completely stopped caring about 2 years ago, I realized I was never going to do anything with my good look and that I will never get into a relationship in my life, so I just figured out "what's the point then, I'm already invisible to women?" And I don't care about my health tbh...

Since I don't have kids or my own family I could just disappear and nothing would happen. No, I'm not thinking about extreme stuff to end my life, I just stopped caring and now eat a lot and drink.

If I'm going to be alone and feeling sad, at least let me eat something good and greasy. Still, I'm just 100 KG at 34 years old right now, just skinny fat... For now.

HobbitFoot ,

I've actually started caring more now than before.

intensely_human ,

I haven’t given up yet. I’m 41 and while I often ignore it, I always come back to moments of caring about my body.

I know for a fact I feel better when I work out, so I can’t stop or life just gets worse and worse.

chemicalprophet ,

I never quit never quitting. I lead from the front as an example to everyone but mainly my children. Your body is your ship to travel through this reality. I want the most functional vessel possible that’s ready for all eventualities. I have dysmorphia and I’m not sure how I look but I don’t care. Not caring (and selective caring) is one of the most powerful tools you can have in this existence. Honestly though, you sound maladjusted. Significance and happiness cannot be derived from other people and your attitude about it is uglier than 200 extra kilos will ever be. Start loving yourself and develop some goals for you and you’ll likely find an entirely different reality. And this is coming from a place of love, one bridge troll to another, ya know? 😉

FookReddit69 OP , (edited )

No. And I will never have children so it makes even less sense to me. Goals for what?

Cocodapuf ,

You wanna know my secret? I never cared about staying in shape...

Wanderer ,

I was on again, off again exercise.

Moved, travelling, finding house, job etc. Didn't do anything fitness just walking.

Well now I'm the wrong side of 30 not doing exercise means my knees have been hurting for 2 weeks from a short 2 day hike. Stay in shape for your own wellbeing. My knees sound like bubblewrap.

stoy ,

I have never been in good shape, allways overweight, I used to feel ashamed about it, but once I hit thirty I simply realized that there is no point to feeling ashamed, doing so only harms me and my attempts to get into a less bad shape.

Wahots , (edited )
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

I used to not care that much, but I got stupidly into mountain biking and city ebiking and just injured my knee when I crashed over an unseen curb in the dark. Now I'm getting biking withdrawal and serious FOMO as I stay inside while newly made bike friends are out biking. I feel like....itchy from not getting outside and really doing stuff with friends. My goddamned knee better heal up ASAP, lol.

I didn't even know I could even get this antsy as I only picked up city biking recently. Now I feel like I'm chained to my apartment and car and the vanishinly rare $30/hr parking spots in the city, lol.

I think more than anything, you can get into just about anything given a couple great experiences doing something. Grab an ebike or stand up paddleboard and go on some adventures, relationships be damned. You don't have to be in a relationship to have some serious fun on the water :)

palarith , (edited )

At 50ish. I have started to care more.

Having seen first hand how miserable old unfit people are made me create a backup plan to die early

Meltrax , (edited )

If you're here to feel sorry for yourself, well, congrats.

If you're here to actually discuss - you were doing it for the wrong reasons if your entire goal behind your health and fitness was finding a relationship. And health and fitness aside, making large parts of your life purely about "getting into a relationship" is a terrible idea as well. Discover your interests. Try some hobbies. Maybe they are sports and fitness, maybe they aren't. Meet people who share your interests. Men and women. Meet them to make friends and be social and share your passions with others. At some point along that journey, when you're a self confident person who knows what you like about yourself and what you're passionate about, you'll probably accidentally find someone who also likes those things about you, and loves your passions.

Or, I mean, imply to strangers on the Internet that you're possibly considering self harm. It won't get you anywhere but if that's what makes you feel good, I'm not going to stop you.

EDIT: I made the mistake of looking at your post history. Save everyone around here some time and stop dumping your misery all over the place. If you want to be your own personal storm cloud regardless of what anyone says, fine. Stop trying to be everyone else's too. God damn, dude.

datavoid ,

In my experience it can be extremely hard not to obsess on being in a relationship if it has been years (or forever) since your last one. Then eventually you get in one, and inevitably realize you are an idiot.

I don't think your advice is bad by any means.. but once you're in the mindset of needing a relationship to feel complete, it is REALLY hard to get out.

Great edit however

NaoPb ,

I think it was about 2005 when I stopped caring about things in general.

mtchristo ,

Those women don't deserve you. Live your life for your own enjoyment. But keeping a healthy weight is important to enjoy your later life.

Lemjukes ,

Well this was certainly a nice pity party.

Meltrax ,

Yeah, OP's responses are somewhere between nihilistic and suicidal. There won't be any meaningful discussion here. Others are trying, that isn't what he wants to hear.

scytale ,

A little different in my case. I started intermittent fasting last year and lost some weight to get to my ideal weight for my height. I was probably 10-ish lbs over before I started. Now that I'm skinnier and able to maintain it because of IF, I also lost some muscle mass, at least visually. What I hate with being skinny is upper arms get too thin and all my shirt sleeves look big as I can't fill them out. Since I'm too lazy to go to the gym to get my biceps/triceps bigger, I gave up and just accepted my skinny arms and legs. At least that's better than being overweight as I get older.

Lost_My_Mind ,

At least that’s better than being overweight as I get older.

How could you say something so controversial, yet so brave?

ghostdoggtv ,

You're gonna hate this answer but I stopped caring when I was doing so much cardio that I was too tired to care how I looked at the end of it. I started getting a little pudgy again this year and then found another sport that I'm addicted to and is getting me shredded with nothing but core work and cardio. I eat and drink more than I used to too. Your fixation on women is torturing yourself.

clark ,
@clark@midwest.social avatar

What might this mysterious sport be?

ghostdoggtv ,

Surf skating.

I converted my standard cruiser board with a pivoting front truck and elevated back rails so instead of legs kicking, I pull forward momentum from turning my lead shoulder and core and shifting the board along my center of gravity. Never have to step off to move. I love it.

Lost_My_Mind ,

But have you tried......baseball? Baseball is life!

ghostdoggtv ,

Not much of a workout though

MenschlicherFehler ,

I know you don't care, but I was in the same position as you. I gave up and tried to drown myself in food and alcohol.

Things can change. Even if you are 100% sure right now that they won't. When they changed for me, my mind and body already had irreparable damage.
My memory suffered from the alcohol, my body will forever look ugly from the rapid weight gain. No amount of working out can fix that.

What I am trying to say is: Even if you don't believe in it, your attitude can change. Just like that, from one day to the next. Then you will regret your choices, but the damage is already done. Remember that.

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