I'm using the default messages app on my Google phone. The biggest source of my annoyance is every iPhone user adding reactions and such, which act like a new message for me. So any group chat may as well be a fireworks display of sounds and vibrations when it is active. I've only set one rule to cool down on messages for 5 minutes and it's already made an impact.
The app lets me make specific rules for each app, but I don't see a way to do a rule per group chat, which would be ideal, but this is already an improvement