I came here to say the thing that you said in better words. I'm on a diet for health reasons that closely resembles the vegan diet, so to keep it simple, I'll say to people that I'm vegan. Most wait staff don't care if I ask if a menu item can be made vegan, but family or people I'm dining with will either send hate vibes or go into a long thing about some distant vegan relative who died from malnutrition.