I have this weird thing that when I feel really bad I want to destoy as much stuff as possible so someone pays attention on me because I always hide problems and appear happy to everyone around (except mentioning some really scary stuff in conversations). What saved me this time is that I remembered my cat can damage his paws when walking on broken glass. Ik it doesn't make sense but it is what it is. I'm too scared of talking about my problems irl. I can get a literal heart attack if I try. It's much easier to start a conversation that way. And if I feel real bad why would I care about consequences? Though this time it felt like something a bit different idk. I don't have a personality anyways. I'm more than unstable if it makes sense