@soundconjurer@mstdn.social cover
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

soundconjurer

@[email protected]

Chemical Engineer, Software Engineer, Biomedical Engineer, Autistic, ADHDer, Dad of Two Guinea Pigs, Gay AF

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. View on remote instance

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
I'm visiting family, and wow am I deep in autistic denial territory.

Some of my younger relatives have approached me, asking about neurodivergence because I've been so open about my experience as a late realised autistic person. They're wondering about themselves and their parents.

The older people though, are unable to have that conversation. There are jokey, sidelong half acknowledgements that "there might be something going on" with them, but otherwise it's High Masking At All Times.

What I find difficult to deal with is the rather toxic judgemental attitudes.

So-and-so relative is "so picky about his food, he thinks it makes him important" or "how ridiculous, he doesn't like the too bright light in the bathroom" and all the while I can see them struggling to deal with the exact same difficulties they're judging in others.

It's so ingrained, I don't know if there's a way for them to find self acceptance.

soundconjurer ,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@Zumbador @stahldame @actuallyautistic I happen to come across a similar analogy to a creator I heard describe masking and unmasking. They described it as (hesvily reductionist paraphrasing begins) "Masking is like being one of those beds compressed into a box. When you pull it out it gets space to expand and "grow". Once it's out of the box, it's very difficult to put it back in the box. But just like the bed, you won't get any rest if it stays in the box".

soundconjurer ,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@Zumbador @stahldame @actuallyautistic , also of course, this doesn't apply to every autistic person. Some are really good at masking, but once I learned I was, once I realized my energy is mostly wasted masking everything and I was already so bad at it, I just can't mask as much as I used to. It's such an aversion now for me. Sure, there are some things more easily done and I find to me are possibly like etiquette in a way, but it's so nice to just not do as full throttle as I used to.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • kbinchat
  • All magazines
    •