punishmenthurts

chevalier26 , 17 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic It really bothers me when I tell my friends or family about something that upset me, or an incident that made me feel embarrassed/humiliated and they respond in a way that makes me feel even more upset, embarrassed, and humiliated. Things like “how did you even do that? 😂” or “that’s not even a big deal” don’t help and make me feel even worse. It feels a bit like clapping at a waiter/waitress when they drop a plate.

punishmenthurts , 17 days ago

@Zumbador @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I mean, I know it's not likely something they are going to grok intuitively, I know it's not how they would think about that situation or feel about it, so I try to create the context for them, like, "See, I'm weird, I worry about X (unknown thing), so when Y happens, it means Z to me" - and . . . nuthin'. Like I never said any of it.
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Record scratch.
"ANYway," somebody says and they carry on. 😈

johnnyprofane1 , 18 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Why does New York state hate #autistic kids?

Why does progressive #AOC look the other way? And refuses to investigate?

Progressive @JamaalBowmanNY D-NY... #Autistic kids are abused in YOUR district.
Do you care?

@AOC D-NY... This is your state.
No investigation?

#ActuallyAutustic @RepThomasMassie R-KY, @BriscoeCain R-TX, @RepBenham D-PA, @yuhline D-NY...

We are your people.
Protect us.

Shrub Oak, a private school for autistic youth, charges up to $573,200 annually but operates with little oversight. This lack of regulation has led to serious issues for students. Read on for more details. 👇

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics

From day one, Brett Ashinoff's parents had concerns: weight loss, neglected hygiene, and lack of proper medication. These red flags escalated into physical restraints and injuries. Discover the full story. 🔍

Despite these alarming incidents, no state agency has authority over Shrub Oak, leaving parents and staff with nowhere to report abuses. Find out how this impacts the students. 📢

Shrub Oak's grand promises of top-notch facilities and care fell short. ProPublica’s investigation reveals a troubling pattern of abuse and neglect. Click to read more about these findings. 📄

Parents have documented bruises, medication errors, and more. Yet, attempts to get help from state authorities have been futile. Dive into these heartbreaking accounts. 💔

Some families praise Shrub Oak, citing it as a last resort for their children with severe behavioral challenges. But the lack of oversight raises critical questions. Learn why this matters. ⚖️

Despite its high costs and promises, Shrub Oak struggles with staffing, leading to inadequate care and supervision. Uncover the reality behind the school's façade. 👀

Issues at Shrub Oak include hiring staff with criminal convictions and failing to provide necessary individual aides. The impact on students is severe. Read the full investigation here. 🔗

Families report incidents where students were denied basic care, such as medication and proper hygiene. The school's response to these allegations is troubling. Click to learn more. 🚨

The story of Shrub Oak is a stark reminder of the need for oversight in private schools, especially those caring for vulnerable populations. Stay informed and support investigative journalism.

If ending abuse of #autistic kids is important to you...

Please consider reposting, sharing, liking this thread about Shrub Oak.

Help break through social media algorithms and get this story heard...

Even by #neurodivergent members of the government.

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@actuallyautistic
@actuallyaudhd
@actuallyadhd

punishmenthurts , 17 days ago

@SearingTruth @johnnyprofane1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd @actuallyadhd
❤️

niamhgarvey , 20 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Going on holiday in 2 weeks and my brain won't relax until I pack but if I pack I will run out of summer clothes for the next 2 weeks so I am now stumped about how to proceed.
@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@niamhgarvey @MaJ1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
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maybe I got that, I mean I have the temperature problem, maybe it’s #hEDS , my kid says they got EDS.
I better read up.

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@niamhgarvey @MaJ1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
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thanks. I have a lot of that, but I have other explanations, it will take some sorting.

autism101 , 21 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Do you have any clothing routines? I own eight gray plain t-shirts with no tags which I love. I often will just wear them over and over again.

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@flatchulancelot @autism101 @actuallyautistic
I always loved wool 😀

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@flatchulancelot @autism101 @actuallyautistic
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LOL - is it itchy - or is it always scratching your itches for you?

pathfinder , 21 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

I often describe myself as a minimal speaker. It's because whilst I can speak, unless seriously overwhelmed, I vastly prefer not to. In large part, this is because the effort of speaking, and it is, more often than not, a real effort for me, rarely seems worth it. Since realising I am autistic, I have come to realise why this could be and also why communicating on here is so much easier and not just because it's text, because I struggle with that elsewhere too.

Language, whether text or verbal, is communication. Whether that be communicating thoughts, or feelings. Expressing emotions, or ideas. It is the medium and not the source. The source is where these things are coming from and it is what shapes our use of the medium and therefore in large part the assumptions we make about how others are using it and therefore the likely success of any communication.

Enter the double-empathy theory and the general acknowledgement that autism is a fundamental difference in the ways in which our brains work, often exampled by describing it as a different operating system. It means that whilst I am using the same language to talk with allistics, how we're both using it, the ends and purpose, even the nature of the information being transmitted, can often be fundamentally different.

An example I have used, is to compare it to a foreign language speaker with a reasonable understanding of the local language, but having to work incredibly hard to keep up with a conversation and having to constantly check their translations and whether or not they were making the right replies and not offending anyone. But to be truly accurate, you would also have to add in a cultural divide, a root level difference in the expectation and assumptions they are making about life and how this was also shaping their communication.

This, I think, is why speaking has always been so hard for me. Why it's always been so much of an effort and often without point. It's not that I am speaking a foreign language, or that my words themselves can't be understood. But that the information I am attempting to convey and the intended purpose of that information, is so far out of phase with the expectations of those around me, that miscommunication, confusion and the all too familiar fallout becomes almost inevitable. It's also why speaking here is so much easier.

Effective communication is more than just using the right words, it's about realising the intent and purpose behind those words. About understanding where someone is coming from as much as what they are trying to say. And that, as the saying goes, takes two to tango.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

punishmenthurts , 21 days ago

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
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I think I found talking easy enough, but I must have been that hard on everybody else, I never realized until very late in life that no-one understood a word, I never understood them telling me so or something.
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Once I finally get it through my skull I suppose I'll shut up once in awhile too. 😈

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
I mean, Once I finally got speaking. I was late and slow and then a wicked stuttering problem, I guess I was making up for lost time.
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It seems like I spent my early years barely verbal and in meltdown all the time but I somehow climbed out of it and I managed to control my environment and medicate myself so as to only melt down every ten years or less most of my adult life.
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Whereupon the environment escaped control and I'm back to maybe living in meltdown or burnout full time again.

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
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at some point I had a reset and forgot all that, it's a mystery. I mean, I know I banged my head a few times.
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Being called by something like Imposter Syndrome about myself and the "family secret," I've been going on about, like how did I never figure it out for myself?
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And the bloody answer is the Autistic naivete, I just assumed someone would have known that and told me, why would be on a quest to learn what was known already, what would have to be known already by dear old Mom?
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😈 ❤️

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@n69n @pathfinder @actuallyautistic
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I am just so not true, on the theory that nothing that is true is true, only what is PROBABLY true is true.
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I can't quite believe my own biography..
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You referring to the variety or the commonness of the experience? 😇

punishmenthurts , 20 days ago

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
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thanks, K.
❤️

foo , 21 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

I'm compelled to attend a mandatory workshop being run by a business psychologist. Is there any evidence to show that popular psychology is invalid when applied to workers on the autistic spectrum? Because it really seems totally irrelevant and nonsensical , not to mention uncomfortable levels of sharing personal thoughts with other workers who haven't earned my respect @actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts , 21 days ago

@foo @actuallyautistic
can't speak to evidence, but I agree, I say it every day, NT psych is not for us. When I encounter an Autist who is into it, I think of it like an infection, or at least I remind myself that Autists don't set the curriculae.
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I'm trying to write that book in my blog, I guess, the Autistic critique of psychology. 🙄

chevalier26 , 22 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic Somehow got into an argument earlier about fractions with my parents, especially the fraction 15/16. I said that 7.5/8 is the same thing as 15/16, because they can be converted to each other by multiplying or dividing the numerator and denominator by 2.

My mom basically said, no, that's not right because it's not a "proper fraction" which doesn't make sense to me. The math checks out, and numerators can have decimal integers. Is there something I'm missing?

punishmenthurts , 21 days ago

@Havoc_online @servelan @ndvirons @Uair @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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🤣🤣

punishmenthurts , 21 days ago

@Havoc_online @servelan @ndvirons @Uair @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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(in Vision’s voice) Well, I AM a Boomer 😀

punishmenthurts , 21 days ago

@androcat @servelan @ndvirons @Uair @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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Yeah, I wasn’t aware of his idea there. I can see how that sort if thinking leads to the usual thing, diagnoses and pathology.