punishmenthurts

Richard_Littler , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

If you've ever wondered what it's like being autistic with ADHD, it's a bit like this for me. (I always assumed everybody thought like this).

#ASD #ADHD #AuDHD #Autism
@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@0mnishambles @Richard_Littler @actuallyautistic
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I haven't found a solution, but I agree video is maddeningly slow, you have to wait for them to breathe and digest and make eye contact, drives me nuts. Reading is so much better.

yourautisticlife , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

"It’s past time to stop using the Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test"

I did part of the test a while back, mostly as a joke. I was watching a YouTube video in which an autistic person was showing pictures from the test.

This article makes a convincing argument as to why the test is complete bullshit.

Any "professional" who uses it to decide if someone is autistic is a fraud. Same if they use it to prove that autistic people lack of theory of mind.

#ActuallyAutistic

https://www.thetransmitter.org/spectrum/its-past-time-to-stop-using-the-reading-the-mind-in-the-eyes-test/

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@miaoue @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
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to me, it's a concept that has been through the Allistic filter and in use means the opposite of what it clearly ought to mean.
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A theory of mind ought to be a theory of many minds, of the differences between minds, like the way Temple Grandin can empathize with cows, a theory of mind ought to be something like an adaptor plate, a tool for navigating different sorts of minds - a tool every animal owner in the world uses all day, BTW.
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But no, the Allistic doctors decide it's the opposite, only one specific sort of a mind is a mind. This way, it's not a theory at all. 🤮

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@miaoue @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
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imagine a Theory of Language that only likes one language 😂

PossiblyAutistic , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

So much for access to diagnosis. The doctor who was recommended to me doesn't take new patients. But of course doesn't write that on her website so I made myself nervous one hour long for a call of fifteen seconds. @actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic
yes, that's a PITA innit

Uair , 1 month ago to bookstodon group

@bookstodon

Idea:

Bookstores should group fantasy with horror instead of scifi. Both fantasy and horror are purely creations of the author's mind; scifi is tethered to factual information.

If you need to group scifi, I'd put it with mysteries and thrillers.

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Uair @bookstodon
then you'll need a Bureau of Future Truth or some shit 😀

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Uair @bookstodon
but of course you're right about the classification matter

theautisticcoach , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

What’s the biggest myth about autism that my #ActuallyAutistic comrades have come across in the course of their self-advocacy?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@melindrea @Tooden @alshra @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
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so relatable.
As part of another search, I've found my report cards, and it seems I checked out in the middle of grade four. Refused to learn script and apparently just daydreamed, didn't even finish assignments or even tests.
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I had managed to forget a lot of this stuff. 💔

mariyadelano , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Question for fellow @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd neurodivergent folks:

How do you explain your ideas to neurotypicals?

I constantly struggle because my brain has made connections that are not obvious to others, and when I try to guide them through my thinking I confuse them with details or by skipping explanations that seem obvious to me but completely surprising to anyone else.

Frameworks, links, anything is appreciated!

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@pathfinder @mariyadelano @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
ask an accountant what's two plus two, he says, "How much do you want it to be" 😀
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just replying with clichés today

Zumbador , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

I have half formed thoughts about autism and externality. Not sure if "externality" is the right word?

I seem to be much more entangled with objects and my environment than most people, and I think that's a autistic (and ADHD?) thing.

Having to use notes and lists to remember things and organise my thinking, as if my memory resides as much on paper and digitally, as it does in my brain.

Having strong empathy for non-living things, as if harming them is harming myself.

My relationship with my home: I don't really feel safe and relaxed anywhere else, and I strongly dislike other people (except for my husband) being in my space. As if my space is an extension of myself.

All of these things feel like different manifestations of the boundaries between myself and everything else being blurred.

#ActuallyAutistic

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Zumbador @dorian @handmade_ghost @weirdofhermiston @actuallyautistic
to the point, I just said this to no-one, that they have a “children,” category as though children were some Them, someone other than us.

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@arisummerland @Starbrother @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
I have three guitars that were dead, end of life, and I rescued and restored them from the jaws of the dumpster.
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That's got to fit in this idea somewhere. ❤️

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@woozle @arisummerland @Starbrother @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
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yes, I drove a car for thirty years too. ❤️

Uair , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

How are you with animals?

I tend to throw off the wrong vibe for people, but get along with even the iffy animals. Dogs that don't like most people warm to me.

Just wondering how much of that is autism and how much me. My dad hates animals.

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Uair @actuallyautistic
I have, or had that power, I used to be able to make friends with skittish dogs. Get down on the floor with 'em like in Lethal Weapon, kinda deal, I think that shows 'em trust.
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But I've seen the other side, that power disappeared completely during the depths of my burnout and animals knew I was wrong with myself or something and didn't like me anymore.

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Uair @CarolynStirling @actuallyautistic @EVDHmn same, and I have no familiarity - but I rode one once, a trail riding tourist deal, and I loved it, felt so natural, a rare thing I knew how to do. Something bugged my horse and it bolted, and I just stood up a bit and stayed behind its head (we were in the woods) as it galloped and talked to it, like I knew what I was doing or something. Loved it.

CynAq , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistic

I have issues with the "top-down ( purported to be most NTs)" and "bottom-up (purported to be most autistics)" thinking binary.

I don't think these labels identify the differences as I believe this is an issue of motivation and value judgement.

Let's take the common example of essay writing for school. The story goes "when they asked us to write an outline, the NT students got right on it while the ND kids were bewildered because how could they write a bullet point version of an essay that didn't exist yet."

This makes intuitive sense to everyone who experienced the frustration of being asked to write that outline so we connect over this and give this as an example of our "thinking style" difference from the NT population.

If we actually think about this a little, though, the example, while a common experience, doesn't actually demonstrate how our thinking differs.

First, NTs and NDs both need to acknowledge the concept of an essay. If we then say "the NTs get right on writing the outline when asked to do so, which means their brain started from the concept of an essay, then automagically filled it out with a list of section titles, then guided their person through the acts necessary to fill out those sections," does this sufficiently explain what is happening? After all, the ND people can write research essays, and without coming up with an outline first too!

I think there's something deeper going on here. I think, the main difference is priorities, not the method of thinking.

In my opinion, when asked to write an essay, most NT people respond by asking "why" or even "what's in it for me" first, and since the school structure pre-answers that question for them, move onto "how," which is also formalized for their convenience: "start by thinking of possible questions and reword them as titles, put them in a list. This way, you won't have to experience the inconvenience of being curious for once." The entire process is optimized for form over substance.

In the same situation, putting the curiosity first, most ND people respond by "<insert every question possible>", and concluding "I'm going to start looking into it." No instruction necessary because the ND brain here optimized the question asking part of the endeavor. The information will be gathered and new questions will form and then more information will be gathered until there's too much of it and..." Yeah... "why are we doing this again?" Notice the "how" isn't very important here, even though it's included in the "every question possible" because after all, what can be more natural than making observations and learning other people's observations and then putting them into a report of facts? Substance rules, and form will emerge as a necessity.

So, I like thinking about "substantial (substance first)" and "formal (form first)" modes of thinking rather than "bottom-up" vs "top-down".

If you're still reading, thanks!

I'm curious as to what everyone else thinks about this issue :)

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@eestileib @joshsusser @CynAq @actuallyautistic
and nobody ever works and nothing ever gets done but hang fire 😈

pathfinder , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

After joining a post by Niamh Garvey (hopefully a successful link to it below) about whether she had adhd as well as autism, I have spent the last couple of days contemplating this idea for myself as well.

I am still not entirely convinced, but I am beginning to suspect that I might well be in this situation as well. After watching a number of YouTube videos from those with both autism and adhd and reading up on adhd, I can see a number of things that point on that direction certainly, although I'm not entirely convinced.

I have always been aware of the near overwhelming urge to either interrupt people, because there is something I want to say and if I don't then, then I know there is a more than a reasonable chance that I will forget what it was. I also have a tendency to want to finish people's sentences. Both of these things though I have taught myself to resist. Even though I feel a great deal of discomfort doing so. I am also more than aware that I can forget what I was saying, or thinking, halfway through a sentence. That digging through the trash to find the package with the instructions on, that I only just threw away after reading, is not uncommon. As is failing completely to understand or remember the instructions someone just gave me.

But then, my short term (working) memory is basically non-existent. But, I'm also aware that this is a fairly common problem for autistics and even before I realised I was autistic, I built up systems to help myself deal with this. As well as with my general forgetfulness. Lists, memory aids, even making the route out of my flat a trip hazard to make sure I don't forget to take something with me. Also, I live alone and essentially there is a place for everything and everything has its place. Not foolproof and I have lost things in a very small flat that I still haven't found. But generally speaking effective.

I struggle to start tasks, especially tasks that I have no real interest, or desire to do. Being interested in something has always been my main motivator. But eventually, I can normally force myself and work my way through things, especially if I know they are necessary. Knowing I have this problem is also why I hate leaving things to the last moment. I know that I am more than capable of doing that if I allow myself, but also that the stress from doing so is nearly overwhelming, even if it can be motivational. As is the stress of clutter. Not the organised clutter that is my flat, where I know where everything is, as in somewhere in that pile over there, but the clutter that builds up eventually and begins to feel as if it is out of control.

Novelty is a factor in my life. Or, boredom, rather. Because sooner, although far more likely later, I will grow bored with routines, or things like safe foods, and need to change them. Many of my interests also seem to suffer from a similar threshold. A certain point where I lose interest and no longer feel any need to maintain them, even though this might make me feel guilty about giving up on them. In fact, I hate boredom and I have always needed a certain amount of new things to watch, or discover and to be actively doing stuff, if only in my head. And whilst I have never thought of myself as being particularly spontaneous or impulsive. I am, within certain limits of self-control. There is a rationality that often has to be appeased that gives me a sense of control. I have also taken stupid risks and great risks. But rarely beyond what I knew was necessary, or to my mind, at least, controlled to a point.

I can be easily distracted, by random thoughts or by, (well obviously not squirrels, I mean who would be? but, oh, oh, there's a butterfly) things. But not always to the point that I'm not at least marginally still aware of what I should be paying attention to. Letting myself wander whilst maintaining at least a marginal awareness is an old trick of mine. I have always been a fidgeter, but that's also how I maintained concentration. Feeling the overwhelming need to move, has always seemed to me to be anxiety driven, or is the way I focus and think. In fact, movement for me has always been as much about settling and regulating myself, as it has been compulsive.

As I said, there are certain things that seem to fit, even if they also seem to have been effected and possibly modified by my autism. I would love to hear your thoughts.

https://beige.party/@[email protected]/112390279791932822#

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@CuriousMagpie @pathfinder @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
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But also, like Kevin says, I’m bored out of my goddam mind for something interesting. But I’d rather be bored sitting quietly than bored watching the Regime. ❤️