punishmenthurts

Tim_McTuffty , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024

Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.

Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.

Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦‍♂️

Hopefully tomorrow will be better !

Final Thoughts.

Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

18+ punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic
fir the record, I too went in and out of, uh, church way too many time yesterday 😬

ashleyspencer , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Autistic burnout + untreated ADHD =

impulse control issues + inability to force yourself to do anything + drained by no ability to function

Lots of walking pass a mess unable to make yourself clean it, then blame yourself for it.

Distracted, can't focus enough to do fun things and/or take care of yourself.

Forgetting everything. So burned out you can't remember important things + made worse by ADHD.

1/3

@actuallyautistic
#AuDHD

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@EVDHmn @ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic
the work of a lifetime. Not really sure you want to be all in the past tense there yet. ❤️ 😇
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or, much of that was always the case, but it's been masked or something. I think my first story is the NT story and my second one is the divergent one, something like that, to some degree

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@EVDHmn @ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic
I had missed that! Well done, carry on. ❤️

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@EVDHmn @ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic
I'm happy that works for you. I'm afraid my life has pitted me against it all, my sibs talked that way and the were lying at me the whole time. Even if it's true and it works, I don't want it.
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If I had done those exercises, it wouldn't have been real, wrong forgivenesses for the wrong things to the wrong people.

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@EVDHmn @ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic
❤️

Dr_Obvious , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group German

@actuallyautistic
I don't know if it's related to the hypo-/hypersensitivity topic, stimulation or whatsoever. But I really like strong tasting stuff. Spicy, salty, hot, sour, complex, whatsoever.

After just now taking a sip from a pickle glass it came to my mind that I even took shots of vinegar in the past, because I liked the taste. I considder it so odd that I wondered if anybody out there did it too.

Did you ever fancied a shot of vinegar?

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Kencf618033 @Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic
ha ha ha, I love it
I mean, she put some on herself to discourage nursing and I just grabbed the bottle from and chugged it. Done and done. 😂

Uair , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Does this resonate with anyone?

I'm distractable and indecisive and hardly ever get a damn thing done. However, if I decide something's important, I single focus on it and persevere far past the point a normal person would have given up.

Once I decide something's important, I'm infinitely brave. Even if my rational mind knows it's not worth dying over, I will risk my life over stupid shit simply because I never checked my head and changed course when it was appropriate.

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Uair @actuallyautistic
Jeff Goldblum voice when it's urgent, life and death: um, yes

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Uair @actuallyautistic
I was the sort of kid that thought I could fly, lucky I didn't try from higher than I did. I was an explorer, out walking the city all day at whatever age, where I remember doing that we moved from when I was ten.
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I landed on my head a few times and surely hurt my neck and I am feeling it now (besides all my other theorizing about that it was just that wrong shape since birth. I should dig out that X-ray).

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Uair @actuallyautistic
I mean, I'm completely alone because I'm fearless of that and unwilling to put up with bullshit, right ❤️

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

#ActuallyAutistc
@actuallyautistic
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"Autism runs in families."
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It's true, it's not untrue. But what do you think Allism does? Direct hotline from God, or what?
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It's part of the pathologizing, part of speaking in the language of the oppressor that you see, "Autism runs in families," a hundred times more than that Allism does - or that in biology and life, EVERYTHING "runs in families."
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Out of all the things that do - everything does - how many times and to what end must we say "Autism runs in families?"
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Why does it matter that we problem children "run in families," but not that cops "run in families?"
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Or that soldiers "run in families?
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They are cherry-picking evolution and genetics to speak this way, as though evolution and genetics are not what makes everything and everyone, but just drops into life once in a while to cause trouble. Damned genetics!
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I mean, try this: my siblings and cousins tormented me terribly keeping me in meltdown for most of my childhood - what, because "I" "run in families?"
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Or because Mom's family was Allistic, clever and abusive and hyper?
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It's at least really both, right?
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But let's back out, way out, to the edge of the solar system, take a long view. Who is running increasingly in families, who is taking over families?
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Who perhaps was not in the majority before twelve to fifteen thousand years ago, but is now, and so must be taking over families? Modern Man, yes, with his aggressive nature and superpowers to dominate the world?
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In this sense it's not just the language of pathology, not just a bias but a reversal, one of those conservative accusations that is really a confession, projection, who, "runs in families."
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😈

punishmenthurts OP , 1 month ago

@GreenRoc @actuallyautistic
They're ALLOWED to run in families, is the point. Singling us out as hereditary is a precursor to eugenics, we shouldn't say it, maybe.

punishmenthurts OP , 1 month ago

@GreenRoc @actuallyautistic
I agree that savants were probably involved in a lot of technical advancement - but I also like to imagine that an Autistic world with Autistic governments might not let us make everyone a new cellphone every year either. I don't want to start a line of conversation that blames Autistics for the environmental collapse.
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😇

18+ Tim_McTuffty , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 201 , Friday 17/05/2024

The number of things that trigger me that I have to keep bottled up , for the sake of a quiet life ! l
Like her taking just the stuff out of the dishwasher she needs (sometimes moving other pots out of the way & then putting them back in the dishwasher ! ) & just the stuff she needs - generally to make her morning snack, which she then leaves for me to tidy away!
It’s even more triggering on days when she is working from home!
No wonder all motivation is dead well before mid-day!

Once upon a time men were criticised for going to work & leaving everything else to their wives, well I have news for the world, that never went away & has achieved true equality! Certainly in our household!
It’s 09:12 & my day is fecked & I still have the dishwasher to empty, her dishes to wash / put in the newly emptied dishwasher & then hang out the laundry.
Don’t get me wrong I fully appreciate that I have to contribute , but I never signed up for this & I don’t know how to tackle it.
GP suggested marriage guidance - yeah sure that’ll work well with my autistic nature & dislike of humaning !
Sometimes it’s all too much & I just want my head to explode & get it over with !

Oh now I’m coughing & aching all over, gimme a break !
Seems I’ve come down with another bug ! Achy, stomach rebelling at the thought of lunch, freezing cold - got a warm top on and wrapped in a blanket. Had a warm Ribena™ (my hot drink of last resort) which appears to have helped a little.
Is it normal for hot drinks to mean you feel colder when you initially drink them - my body thinks so at the moment!
Ahhhh !!! I cannot get a break this year !
And another thing my tinnitus is so loud ! *grumpily snuggles deeper into blanket.
I refuse to go to bed at 13:54 on a moderately sunny summers day !
I shall kill baddies instead & hope I don’t die too much.

Ok it’s 18:30 I’m on the brink of falling asleep.
No appetite , which is a damn shame it being pizza night!

Final Thoughts.

I’ll be the one at the taxidermist….

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

18+ punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@PixysJourney @Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic I cannot over stress this - do NOT eat Kleenex, Squirrelly! ❤️

mighty_orbot , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Neurotypicals: “This person likes me, so I’ll talk to them about things I find interesting.”

#Autistic people: “The only way this person will like me is if I don’t tell them about the weird things I find interesting.”

@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@clowncollege @migriverat @mighty_orbot @actuallyautistic @Starbrother
🤣
nobody ever writes both neurotypes’ POV correctly, no-one has both POVs.
Personally, they both sound Autistic, the first one isn’t so neurotypical by me. It’s still self oriented, not group oriented - an Autist wrote this toot, right?
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It is no Autist’s experience that the whole world seems Autistic, unless they have a very small world, or an overly vague idea of what it is, right?
😈

yourautisticlife , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

I had a strange experience last night.

Usually, when I fall asleep there are gaps in my consciousness. It goes: awake, gap, dream, gap, awake.

In other words, there is no continuity of consciousness between the wakeful state and the dream state.

However, last night there was a continuity. I was able to have conscience of myself falling asleep, entering dreamland, dreaming, coming out of dreamland, and being awake again. This cycle repeated itself three times.

Previously, the closest I came to this was that sometimes I'd be conscious of pulling back at the last minute. In this case, I wouldn't actually fall asleep, I'd progressively go towards sleep, but pull back at the last minute.

I wondering if it has anything to do with autism.

#ActuallyAutistic

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Jwharrison @stevenray @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic @pathfinder

same. Once I was lying in bed, awake and pissed off about it, aware of every little noise and such - and then slowly realized my alarm had been going off for ten minutes. Dreaming of insomnia, what circle of Hell is that 😀

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago

@Jwharrison @stevenray @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic @pathfinder
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thinking about this, that was a long time ago. I think it took many years for me to figure it out, but it meant I don't know if I'm asleep or not?
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So now, when I'm lying in bed awake and pissed off, I stay there, because I might actually be getting my beauty rest and I just don't know it. 😂
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I mean, really, I'm up every night, but I do that too, I think, until the acid convinces me.
😇