everyday_human

NickEast , 4 days ago to writers group

I'm not sure what to make of this... On the one hand I'm not a fan of landlords. On the other hand I love the idea of making all my weird ideas pay rent! 🤔 😂

@writers @writingcommunity @writing @humour

#Author #Authors #IndieAuthor #IndieBooks #AmWriting #Writerdons #Writers #Writer #Writing #WritingCommunity #Writinglife #WritersOfMastodon
#BoostingIsSharing

everyday_human , 4 days ago

@NickEast @writers @writingcommunity @writing @humour
I had a similar thought recently. I have adhd and I thought recently. I can make this life a wee bit easier for myself if I can cut down on thought distractions. it worked. I converted to minimalism. Less distractions, less things to keep track of or move less to think about for practicality.
awareness in moments :)

danamcfarland , 25 days ago to bookstodon group

"If bees were scientists, they might marvel at the color we know as red, which they cannot see and which they might call 'ultrayellow.'"

#SundaySentence is from An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us by Ed Yong

@bookstodon

everyday_human , 5 days ago

@danamcfarland @bookstodon Excellent book. Loved all the perspectives of how you can sense the world . :)🥰

chevalier26 , 13 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic It really bothers me when I tell my friends or family about something that upset me, or an incident that made me feel embarrassed/humiliated and they respond in a way that makes me feel even more upset, embarrassed, and humiliated. Things like “how did you even do that? 😂” or “that’s not even a big deal” don’t help and make me feel even worse. It feels a bit like clapping at a waiter/waitress when they drop a plate.

everyday_human , 12 days ago

@pa @lexx3000 @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic I heard the other day. Perhaps if we want to study evolutionary psychology, cultures in general,and behaviors epigenetic expressions even in species or subspecies of animal, you have got to have a decent understanding of prior enviornmentals and evolutionary biology or ethology environmental ecology, to find the correlational dots which appear differently if you don’t, meaning worldview or perspective and understanding shapes your reality.

Along with society if you follow that conglomerate of a snowball rolling down an extremely varied hill terrain, shaping us as well at a macro meso micro, nano scale plays a role.

So that’s what makes causation such a tricky moving object at least to me. Almost like threads. Cheers.
All I have followed so far I could be extremely off. I’m still learning.

catswhocode , 12 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic I love this group, btw - it makes me feel so seen!! it's nice to know that there are other people who feel/do the same things 😄

everyday_human , 12 days ago

@catswhocode @actuallyautistic yeah, there’s so many on fedi…I just mean there are tons of people on fedi, some don’t even realize it and are partner or allies and their patterns and routines are slightly different due to masking and assimilation, or they just haven’t thought about why they feel connected to us.

catswhocode , 22 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic I'm curious, has anyone ever interpreted your infodumping as bragging? That happened to me on here a while ago - I was just talking about some trips I had taken or something, and the other person thought I was showing off 🙄 I think they were neurotypical.

everyday_human , 12 days ago

@catswhocode @actuallyautistic yes, it’s how I figured out, I was autistic, at least one of the reasons, my voice and intentions didn’t match apparently…which I’ve got to tell you it’s confusing as shit, when people take you wrong when they are close people or coworkers. I had one of my oldest friends tell me my speech was off who I knew since a teenager, one day all the thoughts aligned. Three months later I was dx, well because I already was dx and didn’t know.

LehtoriTuomo , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Yay, got some new books!

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@angstonautti @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic

🍀😌

everyday_human , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

#actuallyautistic
#actuallyadhd
@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

Ok so what are some signals and reasons for signals that’s your partner wants you to do something?

Perhaps it’s the way they hold their coffee or change thier tone or give you looks to let them know what you want or what they are trying to signal to your brain to essentials observe and understand what’s going to happen next

It can be anything I’m curious if any couples made any cognitive life hacks 😵‍💫😒

everyday_human OP , 1 month ago

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
Anyhow let me be clearer.

What Inspired the question was because sometimes I see others do neat hacks to help each other.

Ultimately explicit clear communication works well. We have a neurodiverse family as well.

Sometimes however in the world it’s helpful to have some mutual signals or cues to let each other know how we feel without talking out in public.

f1337 , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Thing I learned at #MentalHealth camp:

SURVIVAL = BELONGING

cc @actuallyautistic

#ThingsILearnedAtMentalHealthCamp

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@f1337 @actuallyautistic
There’s a mental health camp?

dyani , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Yesterday was my 1 year AuDHD anniversary!

1 year since the most life-changing realization ever. My resting heart rate dropped by ~10 points after I figured it out.

Knowing this about myself has given me so much peace & confidence. It's given me even more compassion for myself and others. I advocate for my needs now, and I have better boundaries.

Every day I marvel at how amazing we ND folks are, and how much we bring to the world.

I so appreciate this community!

@actuallyautistic

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@dyani @actuallyautistic
the community is pretty diverse and supportive.

I was schocked to find it that way,
I wouldn’t say innate, but it appeared very organic.I mean it’s not like it’s an echo chamber, we have many differences, but I think it helps us all to understand those perspectives if it doesn’t overwhelm us.

Happy anniversary. ☺️

It seems like such a short time ago but so much has happened for all of us.
Thanks for everything you do! 🥳☺️😉

theautisticcoach , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

What does “unmasking” mean to my #ActuallyAutistic comrades?

@actuallyautistic

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
Unmasking to me, is the process by which you explore through the journey of life, circumstances, and choices, interwoven with the fabric of nature perhaps with yourself in the most genuine way you can express with agency and energy; a discovery of self if you will as well as unmasking. A work in progress.

aspiedan , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Feeling like a walking black hole today :octo_sad: Things are just too much and going wrong. I can't see past all the negative and want to curl in a ball and hide, but can't as at work and then home to the kids. Feeling out of touch and depth rn :ir: :blobcatverysad: @actuallyautistic #sad

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@aspiedan @actuallyautistic ♾️💜

pathfinder , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Autistic brains be stupid. Well, obviously not stupid, they just seem to work, or not work, in mysterious ways.

The main one that has always got me, about mine, is that I have no memory for sound, absolutely none. I can't remember a song, or a sound. I can't remember what my parents sounded like and none of my memories carry, for want of a better word, a soundtrack. I can remember what I was thinking and what others were saying, but not hearing them say it, nor any other sound. I also don't dream in sound, at least as far as I know. All my dreams are silent.

And yet, and it's a big yet. I have an excellent memory for voices and sounds. Like many autistics I have near perfect pitch, at least when I'm hearing others sing, or music playing. Just don't ask me to reproduce it, because I can't. If I meet someone I haven't met for a while, then I will almost certainly not recognise their face, or remember their name, but there is a very good chance that I will recognise them from their voice. I am also very good at detecting accents. Even the slightest hint of one in, say, an actor pretending to be an american, will get me searching Wikipedian to see if I am right about their actual nationality.

So, if I can tell the sound of a Honda CBR engine two blocks away, or a voice, or an accent buried deep, I must have the memories to compare against. And yet... nope.

So, as I said, autistic brains be stupid.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@clacke @pathfinder @actuallyautistic
perhaps familiar with it. I just learned this year soooo much, what has it taught me,
the more I learn the less I know .

QI’ve done metacog work since small. Metacognition is basically teaching yourself how to think. Think of them as altralight inference as why things happen they way they do. Most embodied systems l learn watching others or experience.

So when I learned about autism it was like 😮 this is why after dx it expanded my worldview, it’s so vast it can cause paradigm shifts by some . It’s a tough time.
If you have specific questions just lmk im happy to share any experiences :)

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@clacke @pathfinder @actuallyautistic
Plus when you look at the health problems you can get as you get older sux. It makes it harder to function in society basically. All the wears upon you then you add generational a trauma it’s a lot for many of us to navigate without assistance. We obviously think differently. Extreme hyperphantasia in adults hyper phantasia, more vivid recall. Cited by nih I can get the paper :)

pathfinder , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Much to my shock I realised that I could be autistic when I was 53, roughly 7 years ago. And it was a shock, even though I suspect a very small, well hidden and very much ignored part of me, might have suspected. No one told me about it, or suggested that it might be the case. I did not see myself in relatives, the way so many of us do. I just happened to come across an autism test online and for no particular reason, took it.

It was that, that started me on my path to realising and finally accepting the truth that I was autistic. But, looking back, I sometimes find it hard to understand how I didn't know earlier. So much of my life now, just screams autism at me. But even ignoring the horribly ableist and medieval view I had of what autism was, the main reason why I didn't was probably because I could mask, both from myself and others, so well.

It was, I realise now, a life lived in denial. A denial of how much things bothered me, how much effort I had to put into things. Even a denial of the things I knew I couldn't do. Because this is the thing about appearing to mask so well, for so long. It is, in a sense, a lie. I couldn't mask well, if at all. Not all the time. Not in all situations or circumstances. There were things I just couldn't cope with, or even begin to deal with. But the trick was, that I either knew about them, or learnt the hard way about them and then I could manage my life to avoid them. Because they were things I could live without, without affecting how I appeared to be coping. Things that didn't affect the way I lived, even if they did affect my sense of worth. Because, how broken did you have to be, not to be able to go to crowded events, like a sports match, or a concert? Or to be able to deal with the socialising of a large gathering, or a family event, without having to hide in the kitchen, or forever outside, or break down in a toilet?

It was all part of how I masked myself from myself. The internal masking, as I like to call it. If I couldn't cope, then I was broken. If I couldn't stand something, then I was too picky, or sensitive, or I simply needed to learn to ignore it. And somehow I did learn. I learnt how to cope with noise and smell and visual overwhelm. I learnt to not let things bother me. To a point at least. There was always a step too far, when I couldn't, or didn't have the energy any more to maintain it. And this did take energy, a lot of it. Something I've only realising now that I don't have the energy to spare to even try it. Or the ability to, in many respects now that I know what I was trying so desperately to hide from.

Because when the truth is known, it's far harder to deny it. It's far harder to live the life where appearing to cope, is as good as coping. Where blaming yourself, is easier than seeing others faults. Where ignoring the pain, makes the pain go away. It's hard to see the mask as a benefit and always a good thing, rather than the shield and tool it always was.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
I thought most of the world was hypocrites and liars 😂. It made no sense. No wonder I had trust issues. Being a human seemed to have sociopathic tendencies with the whole masking thing. I didn’t know regular people did it. Now that I understand it both clinically and socially I much prefer it.

everyday_human , 1 month ago

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic
To everything there’s a season this seems like the season of many things including autism.