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dorian

@[email protected]

I used to host my own instance over at @dorian. my instance got borked so I'm over here now!

I'm queer, nerdy, and I love fixing things. I love learning how things work and building my own. Nonbinary and bisexual, acab.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. View on remote instance

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What effect has bullying had on my comrades?

You’re not alone.

@actuallyautistic

dorian ,
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@Jon6705 @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

I absolutely hate teasing as a social bonding ritual. I know it really is nice for folks when they all consent to it, but I never consented to it and in my family of origin it was a tool to silence me. I hate it and cannot tolerate it unless I get swift reminders I am actually loved.

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What’s the biggest myth about autism that my comrades have come across in the course of their self-advocacy?

@actuallyautistic

dorian ,
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@theendismeh @aspiedan @arcadetoken @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
Kindness, and interpersonal thriving are more important than logic. Also, as someone who studied far too much actual formal logic, people who raise "logic" as so important that they refuse to consider anything else are just using it to disguise their refusal or inability to see things from someone else's perspective.

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

I have half formed thoughts about autism and externality. Not sure if "externality" is the right word?

I seem to be much more entangled with objects and my environment than most people, and I think that's a autistic (and ADHD?) thing.

Having to use notes and lists to remember things and organise my thinking, as if my memory resides as much on paper and digitally, as it does in my brain.

Having strong empathy for non-living things, as if harming them is harming myself.

My relationship with my home: I don't really feel safe and relaxed anywhere else, and I strongly dislike other people (except for my husband) being in my space. As if my space is an extension of myself.

All of these things feel like different manifestations of the boundaries between myself and everything else being blurred.

dorian ,
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@handmade_ghost @weirdofhermiston @actuallyautistic @Zumbador

This sparks some thoughts:
We as autistic folk are not as quick to draw lines of separation. The tools and items I use a lot are indeed part of me. They wear in unique ways based on how I use them, I am intimately familiar with how they work, their little idiosyncrasies.

Broadly, all distinctions of separateness break down upon deep examination. The beginning of one thing and the end of another is a fiction humanity invents for convenience, and it autistic folks are just the ones most likely to point out when societal distinctions are bs.

tine_schreibt , to ActuallyAutistic group German
@tine_schreibt@literatur.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Can someone please explain why in the assessment of the level of support needs, it's all about social and routines/repetitive behaviours, and there's nothing about how sensory overwhelm is a Very Big Problem for many autistics?
I can deal with the social stuff (avoid) and the routines/rb (don't do them in public), but the sensory storm of going to the store is A Real Problem for me.

dorian ,
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@tine_schreibt @actuallyautistic American self dxed here. Lots of that has to do with how autism diagnosis focuses mainly on how our disability makes life inconvenient for others. In the medical establishment our inner experience is not prioritized and often overlooked.

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

I've been trying to understand what it means that an autistic brain is bombarded with so much information. We spent some time at our summer cottage and I think I got some insight in this.

Instead of seeing the lake in front of my eyes, everywhere I looked I saw a detail. Its size would vary but it would still be a detail. A swan there, its partner there, no leaves on that tree yet, what a cool pattern on the small waves, what does it look like when I move my eyes this way, or that way, a car on the opposite shore, the shadow of the tree, I wonder what seagulls those are etc. A new detail with every single glance.

At the same time my attention tried to keep track of the dog and listened to birds singing and bumblebees flying around.

Now I wonder what it feels like just to see the lake.

@actuallyautistic

dorian ,
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@callisto @alexisbushnell @roknrol @Zumbador @melindrea @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic

I recently came across a description of autistic brains as "bottom up" processing and that really fits me.

They describe neurotyoicals as having "big picture" oriented brains. They really quickly start filtering out anything that doesn't suit what gets identified as the big picture in their mind.

Autistics, otoh, are more often "bottom up" processors. We see ALL the details and have to sift through them to construct what we see as the big picture.

dorian ,
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@bhawthorne @actuallyautistic yeah! I'm pretty similar, I do really like having the big picture model, but I often have to build it for myself.

It makes coding a delight. It is an absolute joy to finally have the pieces to understand a complex program, but that often comes after several weeks being lost in the docs and code.

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