captainlezbian

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captainlezbian ,

Nope never

How should I change my polite behavior to be more accommodating?

My parents raised me to always say "yes sir" and "no ma'am", and I automatically say it to service workers and just about anyone with whom I'm not close that I interact with. I noticed recently that I had misgendered a cashier when saying something like "no thank you, ma'am" based on their appearing AFAB, but on a future visit...

captainlezbian ,

I think it’s because a lot of queer folks fall where I do on honorifics. It’s not that they’re outdated. It’s that formality is disrespect with a power difference. I use professional formality as neutral formal. Once I start calling someone sir or ma’am they’re getting “with all due respect [none]” as well, or i acknowledge that I’ve fucked up and they can’t call me out so I use it to elevate them back. So really it serves as the back foot to fall to.

And like I’d love to see some theory and history of how we wound up like this because I know that culture has shifted this way, but we are some of the first to drop traditional formality. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was dropped due to the familial tone of our community or the anarchic influences on us.

I do appreciate seeing your input on all of it because it’s always felt stuffy and distancing to me, and while i understand to use it as a form of cultural respect for certain groups, I didn’t really get why some young people may still want it

captainlezbian ,

Some groups mostly use it as an insult. “You can’t handle being treated as an equal so I’m going to get overly formal and distant with you” I often use it with “with all due respect [none]”.

It’s basically “sir you’re making a scene” to some people

captainlezbian ,

Yeah think of it like stepping on someone’s foot in a crowd. It hurts but it happens.

captainlezbian ,

Say what you will there’d always be work for civil engineers

captainlezbian ,

Oh so it’s a company town?

Round here we learned what do do to them. We fucking kill you if you try.

captainlezbian ,

Yeah biggest thing I miss is the women’s communities on reddit

captainlezbian ,

Yeah in college I tried to switch for nerd cred and it sucked, but over the past year I switched and while I’ve had some hiccups, I honestly think it’s more a result of me going with an arch based distro than a Debian one. I’m thinking I may hop soon, but I assume it’ll be a massive pain

captainlezbian ,

Funny, one of my longstanding frustrations with windows was that I didn’t get a say in my keyboard shortcuts. Namely the fact that the shortcut to swap keyboard layouts has historically been very easy to accidentally hit.

captainlezbian ,

It is, it’s trickier and less supported

captainlezbian ,

Less officially supported. Say what you will about the chaotic aur it is chaotic. I think I bit off a bit more than I can chew

captainlezbian ,

“Here’s the opposite of a college degree for the same price”

captainlezbian ,

Oh here in America they have to hold a job. If they work really hard they may even make a few dollars a day

captainlezbian ,

Well after they’re done shaking down your loved ones too. It’s ok together you can all theoretically scrape together enough to keep you fed

captainlezbian ,

My wife knows a guy who learned programming in prison. He was apparently extremely lucky in which one he was sent to. And I don’t mean like “was fortunate for how he was charged” no he got sent to the most recent “prison reform” prison. They never close or update the old ones, just use prison reform as a justification to build a new one.

captainlezbian ,

Ooh I guess I should try again to see if I can get the os on my spare computer

captainlezbian ,

What’s proxmox?

captainlezbian ,

Ooh, do you know if it can work on an old pc being repurposed as a server? I’m very new to all this

captainlezbian ,

Oh wonderful, it’s an old pc my job was throwing out last summer so it’s like a 5-8yo intel. It’s not powerful by any means, but if I can run enough on it to justify the standby power draw it would be great.

Unfortunately I still have no idea wtf I’m doing lol, but worst case I break it all and wind up buying a home assistant green. I’ve committed to ensuring my home has good air and this is a project I think we’ll appreciate me following through with

captainlezbian ,

Well yeah, there’s a reason it’s called late stage, not “yet another stage” or “completed”. The ouroboros is getting fat from it’s greedy feast.

At a certain point the options became to slowly self destruct or accept defeat

captainlezbian ,

No they’re left wing compared to their government so they won’t get us assistance. Who do you think helped overthrow the liberal government of Iran?

But also Iran is a nuclear power and unhinged

captainlezbian ,

In America who knows. In Europe, it’s probably the law

captainlezbian ,

Honestly it’s still strange to me that the us dod doesn’t have their own in house operating system

captainlezbian ,

They’re all bad guys. That’s the point of the game. The Legion are the worst bad guys, and the NCR are probably the least bad, but they’re all bad

captainlezbian ,

Want to get bad drivers off the roads? Give them another way to get around.

captainlezbian ,

FTL

captainlezbian ,

He’d be a retail manager who meets up for abdl role play. Which honestly idgaf if everyone is a consenting adult, my issue would be the retail manager part and possibly him still being a raging bigot

captainlezbian ,

Not really. When a dude pulls the “sorry, I’m neurodivergent and can talk way too much about this” or “I’m sorry I struggle with getting my thoughts clear to other people so I can overexplain” I’m a lot more sympathetic. I really think it’s best to think of mansplaining as gendered preemptive assumption of lack of knowledge

captainlezbian ,

Yeah my girlfriend is weird so I wanted to let her have mine for wet specimen making, but they had to burn them.

But it depends on the surgeon so you can always ask

choosing a lemmy instance ( lemmy.blahaj.zone )

Alt: "Choose your own radical identity" followed by an anarchist flag with half of it being blank. Next to it are crayons in different colors, referencing different anarchist orientations using different colours to fill the space. At the bottom it says: "A DIY activity book for ages 9-12"

captainlezbian ,

Everyone but the mutualists say it’s mutualism, they say they’re covered by red

captainlezbian ,

Voting is necessary but not sufficient.

The big other thing is to build external power. That’s not like militias per se (though with the rising fascism it’s not a bad idea), but rather stuff like gardening, learning to do repairs, and practicing mutual aid. Reduce your and your community’s dependence on the corporations. And make it an issue people around you care about.

captainlezbian ,

The problem with RCA cables wasn’t the colors, it was the fact that the back of the tv was huge and you really wanted to not have to get back there. HDMI you can install by feel

Discussion on 'Missing women on Lemmy and decentralised networks'

I saw this post from !twoxchromosomes, and I wanted to share it here to get more discussion because it is important. I'm hoping that this post won't crowd out any voices, and while I've tried to keep this post productive and inclusive, please call out any concerns and use the post if you prefer :)...

captainlezbian ,

Yeah I definitely feel like a minority here sometimes but when I compare it to rules of the internet era internet it’s not even close. The misogyny has generally been the sort I’m used to as an engineer. I probably shouldn’t be basing my standards on gamergate era Reddit, but it is way better than that

There are instances to avoid interacting with but generally they’re defederated from a lot of instances because they’re welcoming to conservative assholes.

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