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Zumbador

@[email protected]

Masha du Toit, #writer of #ScienceFiction and #Fantasy, living in Cape Town, South Africa. #Autistic, Afrikaans, and #nonbinary 🙂

Post about #ThingsISaw, am fascinated by #etymology, love #cycling, have pet #rats, fan of #criticalrole. #fedi22

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Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
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@actuallyautistic

I'm trying to figure out something about dealing with /avoiding conflict.

When I'm in conflict with someone, I'll often avoid confronting them, because I don't trust them. I might like them, but I don't trust their ability to respond appropriately.

I find that honest conversations mean making myself vulnerable to some extent, and if someone has hurt me, or is annoyed with me, it doesn't feel safe to be that vulnerable.

I reserve conversations like that for people who are very close to me, that I trust, like my husband and my father.

I usually hide my anger and annoyance, because it feels like they don't deserve to see my honest emotions.

But I don't think this is a healthy strategy.

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
I'm visiting family, and wow am I deep in autistic denial territory.

Some of my younger relatives have approached me, asking about neurodivergence because I've been so open about my experience as a late realised autistic person. They're wondering about themselves and their parents.

The older people though, are unable to have that conversation. There are jokey, sidelong half acknowledgements that "there might be something going on" with them, but otherwise it's High Masking At All Times.

What I find difficult to deal with is the rather toxic judgemental attitudes.

So-and-so relative is "so picky about his food, he thinks it makes him important" or "how ridiculous, he doesn't like the too bright light in the bathroom" and all the while I can see them struggling to deal with the exact same difficulties they're judging in others.

It's so ingrained, I don't know if there's a way for them to find self acceptance.

Zumbador OP ,
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@mwl @actuallyautistic

Seems like it. Really sad. So unnecessary.

Zumbador OP ,
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@wakame @mwl @actuallyautistic

Totally have had that bright light thing done to me. Today, in fact! 😅

Zumbador OP ,
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@mwl @actuallyautistic
... and coffee. "Hmm, drinking coffee makes me sleepy, and I get so cranky when I don't have caffeine"

Ding! goes my A-dar

Zumbador OP ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@punishmenthurts

Hmm. That's an interesting idea.

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador OP ,
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@dpnash @actuallyautistic

Absolutely. Autism is still heavily stigmatised and pathologised. Especially for people who have experienced the 80s and 90s

Zumbador OP ,
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@stahldame @actuallyautistic

That's very true.

Although that makes me think of the Anaïs Nin quote:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ”

Zumbador OP ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

To add, this is a pattern I've seen more than once:

You have a family member who, for whatever reason, is more "obviously" autistic than you are.

The relationship between you isn't great, maybe directly related to them being visibly autistic and triggering your self judgement, maybe for unrelated reasons.

This makes it much more difficult to accept that you might also be autistic. Because you don't want to have anything in common with them.

This is especially true if you have a lot of internalised abelism and struggle to be compassionate towards yourself, and also if you've been judgemental towards that person.

Now you not only have to acknowledge that you may, in fact, have something in common, but that you've been as unkind to them, as you're being to yourself.

And that's a hard thing to face.

Zumbador OP ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@soundconjurer

That's a very good analogy.

@stahldame @actuallyautistic

Zumbador OP ,
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@woozle @stahldame @actuallyautistic

😂 I love the surprised flower's body language!

catswhocode , to ActuallyAutistic group
@catswhocode@mastodon.art avatar

@actuallyautistic I'm curious, has anyone ever interpreted your infodumping as bragging? That happened to me on here a while ago - I was just talking about some trips I had taken or something, and the other person thought I was showing off 🙄 I think they were neurotypical.

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@miaoue @catswhocode @actuallyautistic

That happens to me and it can really hurt. When I'm thinking "yay I've finally found someone that I can help or entertain with this amazing information" and they accuse me of patronising them, I feel so embarrassed and betrayed.

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Someone mentioned "odd" sleep schedules the other day; I think I finally experienced a good dose of the "odd."

Went to bed Sunday night around 1:30 AM, slept until 2:00 PM somehow. Tried to go to bed Monday night at 1:30 AM but was wide awake. Decided to stay up until sunrise because why not, there was no point in trying to get sleep. Still wide awake, I thought taking a shower at 5:30 AM would be productive.

I am still wide awake and it is now 6:24 AM 😂

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@jacquiharper @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

Yes! This matches what I heard on a recent podcast about sleep drive. Apparently we have certain moments when we start falling asleep, and if we don't let that happen, then it's usually 2 hours before the brain goes back into that sleep mode again.

Like, if you start nodding off on the sofa, then wake up to brush your teeth, go to bed... And you're wide awake again.

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Any tips on how to deal with imposter syndrome? 😅 It's really been affecting me lately, and I'm not sure why.

I feel like I can never quite be certain that the things I KNOW are true about myself are actually true, like my brain is willingly playing tricks on itself.

Zumbador ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

Imposter syndrome specifically about autism, or more generally?

Zumbador ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

Imposter syndrome is often a totally rational response to living in a world that constantly lets us know we're not allowed to decide what our own needs are, and we're not allowed to decide who we are.

We're supposed to stay where we're put, shut up and be grateful.

So when you step out of line, your inner child, that fierce and loyal guardian, speaks up to protect you. "be careful! People are going to judge you! Maybe it's safer to hide!"

When those feelings come up, give your inner guardian a compassionate hug, and boot those thoughts right out with the trash. Tell your guardian "it's OK, we're an adult now, it might not feel like it, but
we can cope with this stuff. We're allowed to make other people uncomfortable sometimes, we're allowed to show people who we really are."

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@chevalier26 @arcadetoken @actuallyautistic

For me, the most effective way to deal with autistic imposter syndrome is to spend time in online autistic groups like this one, and to see for myself just how different people's experiences are.

And to do some work uncovering where the pain is coming from. Is it fear of appropriating an identity I might not have the right to? What does that mean, exactly? Who would I harm? Who would judge me?

Am I worried that I'm somehow "faking" being autistic because I'm too lazy or weak to face up to my flaws? Where is this judgemental voice coming from, in my life? Who taught me to be so cruel to myself?

And I find it helps to say "I'm autistic" as though I believe that I am. After a while, it starts feeling true as well as being true.

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Here's something that causes friction between me and my family.

Someone asks me to make a decision about something I don't have a strong preference, but they want me to have a preference.

"do you want x or y? "

Saying "I don't care" comes across as rude, and even softening it as "I don't really have a preference" or turning it back to them by saying "what do you think?" isn't appreciated. They want me to care.

I understand that they want me to choose so they don't have to do that emotional labour. That's fair. But often when I do choose (at random), they try to change my mind, and then I'm back to square one because I don't really care, and I don't want to lie!

A honest answer would be "I'm depressed, I don't want to exist. Putting on a polite face is taking up all my effort, expecting me to actually care is beyond my capacity"

But that's too heavy for most interactions.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, just writing it out.

Zumbador OP ,
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@DrMcStrange @actuallyautistic

Yes with my husband I've started saying something similar, "how about x but I'm open to y"

And I just have to trust that he'll speak up if he secretly wanted something else.

Zumbador OP ,
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@roknrol @actuallyautistic

That sounds like a good strategy. And it's true that sometimes I'll discover that I do care about some aspect of whatever it is...

Zumbador OP ,
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@SQLAllFather @actuallyautistic

That makes a lot of sense

Zumbador OP ,
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@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic

My therapist taught me that "I don't want to" is a complete sentence. But that's not always a popular opinion with everyone else.

Zumbador OP ,
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@miaoue @actuallyautistic

Yes I think this is exactly what often happens. I'm not sure how to deal with it as I often don't understand what there is to be discussed.

Zumbador OP ,
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@alicemcalicepants @roknrol @actuallyautistic

Yes that's definitely a thing. It can happen on both sides of the conversation, with no one wanting to commit in case the other person is just being polite, and/or actually would prefer you to guess what they want.

Zumbador OP ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@dl2jml @actuallyautistic

I think this is accurate.

And now that I consider it, I think some of my frustration is from the sense that they don't just want a discussion, they want a conversation that seems to be a discussion but is actually reassurance about their choice.

And now that I've reframed "agreement" as "reassurance" that helps me decide how to respond. In some cases, reassurance is appropriate and needed, but sometimes it's counterproductive and a sign that there's anxiety that needs to be addressed in some other way

Zumbador OP ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@dl2jml @actuallyautistic

I didn't mean to imply any difference between conversation and discussion, that's just me being sloppy in my writing 🙂

mondoweiss , to palestine group
@mondoweiss@social.mondoweiss.net avatar

Indiana University's "Liberation Commencement" was a celebration of the students' brave commitment to fighting powerful institutions and their involvement in challenging Zionism and the Palestinian genocide.

https://mondoweiss.net/2024/05/a-tale-of-two-commencements-how-gaza-solidarity-encampments-are-changing-the-way-we-see-university-education/


@palestine @israel

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@ScriptFanix @nicholas_saunders @KathyLK @skippy442 @somekindahate3 @mondoweiss @palestine @actuallyautistic Hey there. Could you please remove the @ actuallyautistic tag from your responses in this conversation? Since this doesn't seem to be relevant to our group. Thanks!

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

"It might not feel like it's an active step toward self-acceptance or authenticity, but coming to understand yourself as disabled is a pretty dramatic reframing of your life."

  • Devon Price in Unmasking Autism

This sentence hits me hard. Haven't thought it using that wording. My internalized ableism screams. "I'm not disabled!" But I am. I need to digest this.

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@miaoue

Miaoue thank you for articulating this so clearly. I absolutely agree. At some point we need to stop the euphemism creep of making up a new term with positive associations ("Special Needs", for example) that inevitably becomes contaminated with abelist associations.

Dig our heels in and reclaim "disabled" as a term, and directly challenge what needs to be changed: not the word, but the abelist prejudice.

@wilbr @bananamangodog @LehtoriTuomo @faithisleaping @actuallyautistic

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

This self-discovery journey has been mostly satisfying. However, sometimes one is not really sure what to think. Overcompensating in order not to appear selfish is to be very helpful. I've thought this is an important part about me. I like to help. Now I read that this might actually be a way of masking. I guess the important part is not to OVERcompensate. And to think about my wellbeing first. Ah well.

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic With these things, I find it takes time to work through it all and figure out what parts apply to me, and how they apply.

It's worth doing the tests of "Is this masking?" and "This is masking, but I still want to do it" or "This might be masking, but overall it's positive for me and others" or "This is masking, and I shouldn't just reflexively do it, but doing it consciously can be OK at times."

Black and white thinking is a thing, and we like to find rules to help us through ambiguity. But we're all different, and different things will work for us at different times.

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@petelittle1970 @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic "You don't have to be consistent.. you just have to be happy in yourself."

This is quite a profound insight. It's easy to fall into the trap of trying to find The One Rule that applies to every situation, or to think you're being hypocritical or untrue to your "real self" if you respond differently in different contexts.

But humans just don't work like that. We ARE different people in different contexts, and that's ok.

PixysJourney , to ActuallyAutistic group
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Question to fellow folks... :confusedparrot:

For what sort of toots could I use hashtags like or the previous two I just used?

I Toot quite a bit about me and my quirky way life. But I never really know if I "should" add any ND hashtags as the "silly" things I Toot about are quite normal to me. If that makes sense 🤔...

I'm proud enough, these days, of who I am. But I wonder if and when it would be good to add some of these tags... Maybe it could help connect with other peeps like me 😇.

Fankoos 🫶🏻 for your help! 🌸

@actuallyautistic

:boosts_ok_gay:

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@pathfinder @PixysJourney @actuallyautistic

As usual, "what Kevin said" 🙂

But I'd also like to add:
Once you've done the basic work of being decent online, (being kind, not harassing people who disagree with you etc) it may help to move on to reframe being blocked / muted / unfollowed as a neutral thing, and not a scold or a judgement.

You get to be yourself on here, and that hopefully attracts people who get who you are. And it might also result in people opting out of following you because they don't get who you are. Or they get it, but for whatever reason, don't want your kind of energy in their feed right now.

You not having to deal with those people, and them not having to deal with you is a good thing for all concerned.

himantra , to horror group
@himantra@sunny.garden avatar

I've got some audiobook credits before I cancel my account (just not worth it when the is there 🥰). Could someone recommend some good audiobooks?

What I am looking for:
✔️Cozy mysteries or cozy horror
✔️If romance, nothing 🌶️ because I can't listen to sex scenes being narrated to me without giggling like a middle schooler.
✔️Female main character = bonus
✔️POC protagonist = bonus
✔️YA or New Adult recs okay

Thanks! 🙏🏽

@bookstodon @horror

GIF of a woman bowing with a smile and saying thank you.

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@mvilain @SallyStrange @himantra @bookstodon @horror Yes! Both The Golem and the Jinni, and its sequel are wonderful "Must Own The Print Copy" books for me. The stories deal with some tough subjects at times, but with so much compassion that they are a pleasure to read.

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

The deficit model of autism in DSM-5 dehumanizes us by focusing on external traits rather than internal experiences. It's also based in Nazi race science.

How can we push for more relevant diagnostic criteria?

Do we even need it?

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@seanwithwords

Sean, well said.
I would like everyone to have the benefits of knowing whether or not they are autistic, without autism being medicalised and pathologised.

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I think the evidence is mounting that in some circumstances I can be rather slow to process emotions.

Sometimes it is not until the day after something happened that I get angry. During this "something" I keep a placid demeanor. This demeanor is not a strategy or a conscious decision.

Then, the next day, I realize how this very thing gives rise to emotions, often anger.

I'm wondering if it relates to alexithymia. I'm not confused about what I feel, but the feeling may get delayed.

Or maybe it is a combination of:

  • people pleasing,
  • autistic inertia,
  • alexithymia

Just thinking out lout about one of my characteristics here.

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@arisummerland @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic

Yes this is very much how I experience alexithymia.

Sometimes I seem unnaturally calm and unbothered, and the upset only arrives later.

Sometimes I can actually be upset in ways that are apparent to people around me, but I'm not aware of it myself until later.

Zumbador , to bookstodon group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@bookstodon

Am reading "Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries" by Heather Fawcett. Absolutely loving it.

I'm not sure if the writer did this on purpose, but the main character is heavily autistic coded. Emily Wilde finds it easier to deal with the capricious Fae, than with mystifying human social conventions.

The book reminds me quite a lot of Naomi Novik, especially "Spinning Silver".

mighty_orbot , to ActuallyAutistic group
@mighty_orbot@retro.pizza avatar

Neurotypicals: “This person likes me, so I’ll talk to them about things I find interesting.”

people: “The only way this person will like me is if I don’t tell them about the weird things I find interesting.”

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@migriverat

Note that the @ [email protected] tag means that the original post was posted to a group of autistic people. Unless youre autistic, (maybe you are!) you might inadvertently cause offence.

And if you genuinely feel that you can't talk to people about things that you find interesting... Might be worth investigating whether you're autistic 😉 because that's a incredibly common experience for autistic people.

@Elizabeth3 @mighty_orbot @actuallyautistic @Starbrother

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

Yesterday I was wearing sunglasses when I went to the city centre as it was sunny. Oh my, what a difference it made to the sensory overdrive. As I mentioned earlier, I like to watch around but had finally noticed that I keep grounding myself by looking at ground due to all the visual input. Sunglasses took the edge off and it was way easier to look at things.

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador ,
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic yes it makes such a difference!

I recently got myself some prescription shades, and I love them. Reducing the glare is great, but I also like that they hide my eyes and make me look a bit like Terminator Arnie. I can let my face go blank without feeling to self conscious about my resting autistic face.

herhandsmyhands , to Romancelandia group
@herhandsmyhands@romancelandia.club avatar

Covers have a purpose: they signal the genre within.

A cartoon cover of two people dressed casually for camping does not--and I cannot stress this enough--signal EROTICA to anyone.

Holy jumping WHAT THE HELL, , WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL--you are setting that book (and its author) up to fail.

@romancelandia @bookstodon

screenshot of NetGalley page showing the cover for _Hot Pursuit_ by Cassie Connor; the cover shows a white woman with long light brown-reddish hair up in a high pony tail, weaing boots, yeans, and a long sleeve shirt, and a white man with short dark brown hair, wearing caqui pants and a short sleeved shirt, somewhere outside with mountains in the far background and a body of water near their feet. The NetGalley tags say "erotica, romance, women's fiction" and the publisher is Harper Collins UK, imprint One More Chapter
ALT
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    • Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @herhandsmyhands @romancelandia @bookstodon yes this looks like "Sweet Romance". Setting themselves up for bad reviews

    Ilovechai , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @Ilovechai@sciences.social avatar

    I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
    Here goes:
    1/
    @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd


    Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @JoBlakely @Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

    I used to love going to the dog park. It's easy to talk to dog people, all you have to do is be interested in their dog. No social awkwardness for me. Also, I recognise the dogs and remember their names, not true of their humans.

    mariyadelano , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @mariyadelano@hachyderm.io avatar

    Question for fellow @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd neurodivergent folks:

    How do you explain your ideas to neurotypicals?

    I constantly struggle because my brain has made connections that are not obvious to others, and when I try to guide them through my thinking I confuse them with details or by skipping explanations that seem obvious to me but completely surprising to anyone else.

    Frameworks, links, anything is appreciated!

    Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @mariyadelano @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

    Oh I totally have this struggle too.

    What I try to do now it to start with the context ("why do you need to know this"), and check in with the person whether they understand the context.
    Then I go down some levels to a basic principle, but before I explain it, I contextualise it too ("this is what makes x possible" or whatever).

    And if possible, I divide the explanation into discrete units, stopping after each step to give them a chance to try for themselves, or discuss, or have a break.

    Most people don't absorb new information in more than one step at a time, without a chance to put it into practice. That might mean they get to ask a question, or you ask them to come up with examples other than what you've just provided. Anything to get them out of passive listening and into active thinking mode.

    Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @actuallyautistic

    I have half formed thoughts about autism and externality. Not sure if "externality" is the right word?

    I seem to be much more entangled with objects and my environment than most people, and I think that's a autistic (and ADHD?) thing.

    Having to use notes and lists to remember things and organise my thinking, as if my memory resides as much on paper and digitally, as it does in my brain.

    Having strong empathy for non-living things, as if harming them is harming myself.

    My relationship with my home: I don't really feel safe and relaxed anywhere else, and I strongly dislike other people (except for my husband) being in my space. As if my space is an extension of myself.

    All of these things feel like different manifestations of the boundaries between myself and everything else being blurred.

    Zumbador OP ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @juhanarasanen @actuallyautistic

    Yes exactly! That's what I was the kind of thing I was thinking about.

    Zumbador OP ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @pathfinder @actuallyautistic

    That's an interesting thought.

    I remember, as a small child, thinking about all the other people out there, and each of them thinking of themselves as the main character in their story, just as I think of myself... and yet we're all part of the same story. So how could that be?

    (I didn't have the words to articulate that thought at the time. I think we often underestimate children because of that.)

    That seems like a similar thing to what you're pointing out, the joining the dots in ways you're maybe not expected to.

    Zumbador OP ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @dorian
    "Broadly, all distinctions of seperateness break down upon deep examination"

    Yes, exactly. And people often confuse the seperations we make for efficient thinking and communication, (like categories and labels) , with actual difference.

    @handmade_ghost @weirdofhermiston @actuallyautistic

    dyani , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @dyani@social.coop avatar

    Yesterday was my 1 year AuDHD anniversary!

    1 year since the most life-changing realization ever. My resting heart rate dropped by ~10 points after I figured it out.

    Knowing this about myself has given me so much peace & confidence. It's given me even more compassion for myself and others. I advocate for my needs now, and I have better boundaries.

    Every day I marvel at how amazing we ND folks are, and how much we bring to the world.

    I so appreciate this community!

    @actuallyautistic

    Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @dyani @actuallyautistic

    One year! I bet it feels simultaneously much shorter than a year and much longer.

    Self compassion really is key for this process

    LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

    One reason why it took me so long to self-diagnose autism is that I thought I don't stim. In fact, once I learned that I do stim, my self-diagnosis process kicked in. That was the first time I said to myself that I might actually be autistic.

    The reason for this misunderstanding was that I thought stimming is stereotypical, very repetitive, compulsory movement. I guess this misunderstanding is quite common.

    I've since learned that stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is basically stimulating one's sensory system in certain ways. It may be a way to soothe oneself, help to focus in overwhelming situations by feeding one's brain predictable sensory input, a way to express joy, or simply something that feels nice. Movements are part of it but any sense can be used.

    When googling the term, there are mentions that also neurotypicals stim but that when diagnosing autism, stimming is somehow different -- only socially unacceptable stims are "real" stims. Bah.

    I've started paying attention to how and when I stim, and collect a list of stims I do. I've noticed all types of stimming behavior (soothing, focusing, joy, fun). I do it more than before -- or maybe I just notice it more often. I've noticed that I love moving my body parts, especially to music. I also love different textures.

    @actuallyautistic

    Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @theendismeh

    Be Kind, I don't know if you listen to podcasts, but The Neurodivergent Woman podcast did a really good episode on stimming recently.

    They talk to a woman who is doing research on stimming from an autistic perspective.

    Basically the "official" established view is that stimming is a repetitive movement behaviour that serves no purpose. (notice the neurotypical point of view!)

    But autistic people tend to define stimming as any behaviour that helps you regulate yourself. It might be repetitive movement (tapping, rocking, flapping hands) or it might be listening to nature sounds, or looking at patterns and colours, or saying satisfying phrases.

    The definition of stimming, from an internal, autistic perspective is the intensity of the experience, and that it helps you regulate yourself.

    @melindrea @darrellpf @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic

    Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @theendismeh

    This is the episode https://omny.fm/shows/the-neurodivergent-woman/stimming-with-marie-camin

    @melindrea @darrellpf @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic

    dilmandila , to blackmastodon group
    @dilmandila@mograph.social avatar

    Author copies arrived of this bulky anthology of African ghost stories. Now I can say that my story was published in the same book as the legend, Amos Tutuola!

    @bookstodon @blackmastodon

    Book cover of an anthology, gothic designs, black and pale gold colours with Gothic Fantasy embossed on the top and bottom of the cover. Gothic on top, Fantasy in the bottom. In thr middle in glowing greenish text is the title of the book, "African Ghost", and below that "short stories". The title is in a black frame that makes it distinct from the gold and black of the cover.
    ALT
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    • Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @dilmandila

    That looks awesome! Congratulations

    @bookstodon @blackmastodon

    JeremyMallin , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

    Does anyone ever consider learning sign language not because they can't speak, but just because sometimes they don't want to? Or don't feel up to it?
    @actuallyautistic

    Zumbador ,
    @Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

    @nellie_m @JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic @pathfinder

    Up till recently my husband taught at a school for the Deaf. He learned sign language. It's quite challenging to learn as an adult, but also fascinating.

    I'd be more inclined to use text to communicate if I can't speak. Mostly because almost no one I know understands sign language so it won't help me communicate

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