Zumbador

rabia_elizabeth , 1 day ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Reply to anything I say here with misinformation from AutismSpeaks and you'll be blocked posthaste.

#Autism

@actuallyautistic

Zumbador , 23 hours ago

@Gilliosa @rabia_elizabeth @actuallyautistic

To answer on behalf of the OP.

What autistic and allistic means is a enormous topic, difficult to summarise in a few sentences.

Autism is a spectrum of neurological differences that tends to present in broadly similar ways (the autistic traits). A person who is not autistic, is called "allistic".

Autism is diagnosed if a person has a lot of autistic traits, has them intensely, and there's no clear explanation for the traits other than autism.

None of the autistic traits occur only in autistic people. None of the autistic traits occur in all autistic people.

For example, difficulty in making eye contact is an autistic trait. But some allistic people have difficulties making eye contact, and some autistic people have no such difficulties, or have trained themselves to manage eye contact.

This article is a good start to an explanation
https://neuroclastic.com/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/

Zumbador , 19 hours ago

@Gilliosa @rabia_elizabeth @actuallyautistic

It's possible that that's accurate, but at the moment we don't know enough about autism to say that with confidence.

At the moment, we don't really know what those neurological conditions are, and how they relate, or differ from one another.

To permit myself an analogy, we're seeing the leaves rustling, but we don't know what's moving them. The wind? Birds? An earthquake?

It's only recently that research is starting to turn to identifying sub types of autism, rather than trying to find a single underlying biological explanation like "the autism gene".

catswhocode , 1 day ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic I think I might get one of those "tbh autism" creature stickers for my laptop :blobfoxlaugh: :da_dance: afaik it's considered a positive symbol? @actuallyadhd

Zumbador , 1 day ago

@catswhocode @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

I've only seen positive reactions to it, it's kind of nice

rabia_elizabeth , 1 day ago to ActuallyAutistic group

I recently described my lack of chattiness to a new friend as "brain taking a long coffee break." Everyone wants to call that "shyness" but that would mean I had words to utter but was afraid to say them.

For decades I did not have the vocabulary to describe this phenomenon. #Allistic brains seem to light up in company; mine shuts down and takes a long smoke break.

I have about an hour of conversation in me per day, tops, on average.

#Autism #Sociability #Conversation

@actuallyautistic do you experience this?

Zumbador , 1 day ago

@rabia_elizabeth @actuallyautistic

Absolutely.

There's this weird raw, bruised feeling after I've been in a social situation for too long. Like being over exposed.

ScottSoCal , 1 day ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Dealing with some stuff.
Last summer I wound up in the ER, and the doctor told DMV that I'm medically unfit to drive. My license was suspended. Got a DMV hearing and they restored it, and I thought it was done. Now auto insurance non-renewed me, and I'm shopping for insurance, after 20 years with the same company.
Change. Change I have no control over. Change I didn't agree to. I'm trying to get through this part as fast as I can.

Zumbador , 1 day ago

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic

Oof that sounds anxiety provoking! Hope you can sort it out soon

Susan60 , 3 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Someone sent this to me a while back & I’ve only just got around to looking at it. (ADHD) Rang a lot of bells, & is no doubt another factor is late diagnosis.
#ActualyAutistic @actuallyautistic

https://poweredbylove.ca/2017/11/21/atypical-autism-traits/comment-page-1/#comments

Zumbador , 2 days ago

@Tooden @Susan60 @actuallyautistic

Absolutely. "Atypical" means "not in the DSM".

catswhocode , 3 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic Who posted that ADHD vs. autism chart? I found that really interesting but I can't seem to find the original post!

Zumbador , 3 days ago

@catswhocode @actuallyautistic

This one? 🙂

https://neurodivergentinsights.com/misdiagnosis-monday/adhd-vs-autism

olena , 5 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Do you guys also combine almost pathological conflict avoidance - and the brilliant talent to create a conflict out of nothing just trying to explain your point of view or to point out some factual error another person made while talking about your special interest?

I don’t defend myself, I don’t tell I don’t like something or that I see that I am being taken advantage of or being lied to, or that someone hurts me - I never raise a voice and tell that, or question them, or demand my rights and all - because I am terribly afraid on conflicts. Not even that I won’t be liked, or that there’s going to be some consequence or anything. Just a conflict itself. I’m scared even when there’s a conflict that doesn’t include me nearby, but even the shadow of an idea that something I may say may create a conflict makes me go silent, and just dodge and tolerate more, doesn’t matter how bad I feel.

But when just discussing something - I mean not something important, may be a birds name, a train route from 80-s, the way some thing works etc - any abstract staff that doesn’t correspond to my life in any way - especially when I clearly see the opponent is making the factual error or denying my actual experience with the topic - it does create a conflict, and people would say I am a conflicting person, I am the one who likes to just disagree and all.

Is that desire to avoid conflict at all costs - and the inability to actually spot when another person starts to see your discussion as a conflict - some #neurodivergent thing?
#autism
#AuDHD
#ADHD
@actuallyautistic

Zumbador , 5 days ago

@olena @actuallyautistic

The desire to avoid conflict at all cost is, I think, a consequence of being traumatised in particular ways because of being neurodivergent. And not all neurodivergent people experience the same type of trauma, or respond to that trauma by becoming conflict avoidant, hypervigilant and people pleasers.

But I certainly have!

At the moment I'm dealing with it by opting out of any discussions that become too heated, and the consequence of that is that I'm being told I'm "Too passive" 😑🙄

AnAutieAtUni , 6 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

ADHD assessment done. Hi 👋 I’m officially AuDHD. What the flip.

No idea how I feel about this yet. May take a few days. Feel VERY sensitive about this right now so please be kind in the replies. Not sure whether to cry, be happy, relieved, or just overwhelmed… I’ll settle for a few silent expletives and going non-speaking for a while (days?).

(P.S. Self identifying is valid. I had just realised I may as well self identify regardless of the assessment outcome, but I’m someone who needed this second opinion by a qualified clinician. My self dx’s of autism and ADHD have both proved to be accurate.)

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

Zumbador , 6 days ago

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

Not surprised you're feeling a bit rattled and vulnerable. That's a huge thing to process, even if you weren't taken by surprise.

Be extra kind and patient with yourself over the next few days. And you probably already know this, but many people have an attack of imposter syndrome just after getting an official diagnosis ("maybe I was trying to influence the outcome?") so be ready for that. It's just part of working your way through all of this stuff, a normal reaction to a confusing situation.

Zumbador , 5 days ago

@AnAutieAtUni @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

It really does take time! But so interesting to discover this whole new way to understand oneself.

autism101 , 6 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Autistic folk often have a lot of other stuff they are dealing with. You can think of it as “Autism and…” because that is the reality for most of us.

Here is a list of “some” of the more common ones.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

Zumbador , 6 days ago

@GarryTheThird @autism101 @actuallyautistic

There are strong correlations between being autistic and having an auto immune disease

You can read about it here
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/autism-and-health-issues?rq=Auto

chevalier26 , 7 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic How did y'all discover which parts of yourself were masking and which parts are genuine? Or, figuring out when you are masking in the moment it happens? Sometimes I feel off in certain scenarios but I can never pinpoint what is masking and what isn't. Any advice or resources would be appreciated!

Zumbador , 7 days ago

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

I don't find "masking" to be a helpful term, although I use it myself.

I don't think that there's a genuine me and a mask. I change depending who I'm with, and some ways of being are more painful, some feel more right. There might be multiple ways of feeling right.

This might be because I'm late realised, so I've spent decades forcing myself to behave against my nature, so some of that has become my genuine nature, like a tree forced to incorporate the wires wound around it in its shape.

Some things I have identified as harmful masking:

• Being self deprecating about my special interest.

• Conciously making myself less intense

• Pretending to agree with people when I actually don't

• Making my face and voice expressive so I don't seem angry

• Suppressing stimming

dyani , 8 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

How would you explain to someone who is neurotypical (a nice one who wants to understand) what body doubling is and why it's helpful and sometimes even necessary for overwhelming tasks?

I've had to describe this to my very lovely NT friend and my explanation sucked lol. Pls help.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

Zumbador , 7 days ago

@EVDHmn @dyani @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

I think they are the same, just "work" and "play" contexts.

Zumbador , 7 days ago

@dyani @wakame @emmaaum @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

Something else I don't often see mentioned, is that you probably can't successfully body double with just anyone.

I'm not sure whether it requires trust, or vibes, or what exactly, but it works better with some people than others

Zumbador , 7 days ago

@dyani @wakame @emmaaum @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

"It took going to therapy and uprooting my stressors to get rid of that and now I have less sensitivity to external demands!"

This is what I need in my life!