@Uair@autistics.life avatar

Uair

@[email protected]

I have no hole into which you can pigeon me. I'm unique. Just like everyone else.

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Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Found a new band. 1977.

https://invidious.private.coffee/watch?v=Qn0_fDjvI_s&listen=false

liquid_clear ,
@liquid_clear@mastodon.social avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic I had heard the Rollins Band cover on the soundtrack for the Crow first back in the day, but of course the original is more essential.

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@AtheismActually @actuallyautistic

A history of slave religions in three paragraphs:

https://poloniousmonk.substack.com/p/slave-religions?r=1xr9v7

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

The pen is mightier than the sword.
The gun is mightier than the pen.
The printing press is mightier than the gun.
The nuclear bomb is mightier than the printing press.
The internet is mightier than the nuclear bomb.

What's next?

seanwithwords ,
@seanwithwords@mstdn.social avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic climate change is mightier than the internet

ScottSoCal ,
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic

The slavering alien overlords who will conquer us and turn us into people cutlets are stronger than nuclear bombs.

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic @books

Pretty cool essay on art and artistry. Medium-long.

https://poeticoutlaws.substack.com/p/the-candle-in-the-rib-cage-an-open

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

I just checked the origin of an old joke about heaven and hell and found what turned out to be a really interesting time capsule of a 1989 newspaper. Totally worth a few minutes of your time.

https://www.newspapers.com/image/655978352/?clipping_id=69794931&fcfToken=eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJmcmVlLXZpZXctaWQiOjY1NTk3ODM1MiwiaWF0IjoxNzE4MTgwMjY5LCJleHAiOjE3MTgyNjY2Njl9.V4lAS58Zd-WQdg-sfK4qGs9S_OJ7vVywGLSOiaxT3Dg

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Well, I've gotten maybe eight hours of broken crappy sleep in the past three days. I was just drifting off when my computer chimed. I said aloud, to an empty room, "I thought of that before I started dropping off, but I figured I'd give you guys the benefit of the doubt". Then i silenced my speakers and lay back down. Heart pounding and ears gonging, of course.

When I'm this tired I drift pretty quick and about five minutes later I was dropping off again when I got a knock on my door. 12:45 AM. It's some creepy biker dude from downstairs. Loves jesus and has a flyer about how any equal rights legislation for women is an attack on his manhood. Heavy drug user. He asked for a puff of my joint once, but I don't share devices. I don't want herpes. So I smoked half of it and gave him the second half. He took one puff, choked really bad, and threw it away. Much later, I was having a rough day and tried to buy a little weed off him. I offered him five bucks for half a gram, he tried to sell me a quarter gram or less, and when he insisted I sniff it it smelled like a cigarette butt. I wanted to hold it to see how dry but he clenched it in his fist and insisted I give him five bucks first. Dude's a fuckhead and knows I don't like him.

Now he's standing at my door shifting from foot to foot. I ask him what's up, he says nothing. Shifts around again. I ask what he needs. He asks to use my bathroom. I let him come in and piss. When he comes out I ask him what's up and he just repeats, "I don't know, I don't know" and walks out the door.

I'm sooo tired of this shit. I hope there are real people out there in my feed who are learning this shit goes on. The cops/ feds/ spook agencies run everyone in my building. The guy next door knocks on my wall as I drift off to sleep, too.

Please. Just fucking shoot me. I deserve an honorable bullet. Not this garbage death.

Uair OP ,
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

I just wrote my first and last tweet. CC:

Y'all know trump is implanted, right? Obama's feds did it to him. It's pretty crude shit. They put something on his vagus nerve and in his adrenal glands, and probably a mic and monitor in a capped tooth.

I know because they practiced on me.

Now fuck off.

I'm thinking the only thing I can do to get out of this nightmare is precipitate his idiots attacking.I know the secret service are eager for a rematch.They've got some cool shit they showed me when I was in DC trying to get some civil rights.

Seriously--I saw a post today about how it's not going to be a big showdown and go back to normal, but america will become an asymmetric warzone like we used to do to dozens of countries a year.I didn't chime in then, but that poster doesn't have a grasp of the power of Big Data.I guaranfuckingteee the Biden admin knows to several decimal places who's actually dangerous and who isn't.Hell, I bet they've got half their firing pins filed down by now.

It's gonna be a short war.

I need to get it over with.

This life is impossible.

Can I come down off my cross now?Give me a drone, I'll happily fight on our side.I've been optimized for combat all my life.It's everything else at which I suck.Thanks, nixon/ kissinger/ reagan/ bush1&2. Clinton authorized taking me out. Trump tried to have me paralyzed. Obama had my fiancee raped in a parking lot. Fuck all of 'em.

It still remains to be seen whether being decent is worth it. It may be right that if you don't hate and rape and cause harm, you will be driven out of society, silenced, and tortured to death. We're at the FO stage of people who crime, but not criming doesn't seem to be an improvement. I was supposed to be a useful monster for the right wing like the rest of my family, but chose not to. Free will, baby.

I deserve an honorable bullet if you can't let a decent person model free will in public.

Don't make me do it some horrible way.

Uair OP ,
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Update:

Well, it looks like I have confirmation they really do want me alive. There are three big trucks including a cherry picker outside my window just in case I slash my wrists.

Of course, they could always come knock on my door and talk to me, but I'm a public works project as well. They use me to practice on. What the hell. I hope they brought something to read.

I'm really tired of this.

Come knock up if you guys get hungry. I have good teevee in here. And books.

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Well, I've been awake long enough I can doze despite having a racing heart and pounding blood pressure from the adrenaline and cortisol. I silenced everything in my "home" and was dropping off for minutes at a time for a couple hours.

My building manager just pounded on my door to alert me that the city had to emergency shut off the water, and promised to return and cop knock again when it was back on. She didn't knock on any of my neighbor's doors. The water is fine. It was a lie to wake me up. Hell--the liquor store just opened, but I'm too fucked up to walk that far. They took all the weed out of the weed stores as well. I'll bleed instead.

When I met her, she made a big deal about honorable behavior. She's a good christian, and has about the same relationship to honorable behavior as The Donald.

I loaned her my flash drive because I have about the only copy of a netflix documentary they took out of the American catalog about five years ago. Maybe it's back now, but we weren't allowed to know what happens to our drone pilots for a while. I tried to do something nice for her since she was a drone pilot. Of course, she stole my flash drive.

So she kisses up and kicks down. Totally enjoying the cruelty she gets to inflict.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of this kind of crazy shit happening all the goddamn time. I'm tired of staying awake for five+ days on end. And I'm tired of being a universal scapegoat. I'm tired of being a dumping ground for everyone's cruelty. I need one ally.

I popped a blood vessel in my brain two weeks ago. My vision went all wonkey for a half hour.

I just want to die.

I'll tell ya--trumpers like this cunt are right. If you/don't/ rape, if you /don't/ hate, if you /don't/ cheerfully and arrogantly murder strangers, the state will simply torture you to death for setting a bad example.

Can I get off my cross now?

National Bird is worth watching if you are allowed:

https://invidious.drgns.space/watch?v=uuh09YDgIFE

MxVerda ,
@MxVerda@lgbtqia.space avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic wtaf. Samaritans can’t fix any of that, but they can listen and maasaaybe be able to signpost? Or even report any of it anonymously? Damn.

You deserve better. That’s bullshit.

(They listen to whatever. Doesn’t have to be mid-crisis etc.) https://www.samaritans.org/

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Video game recommendation?

The original Deus Ex, which I never beat, or System Shock, which I never played?

Uair OP ,
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@xarvh @actuallyautistic

No worries.

I think I've already been down this road and returned the game.

xarvh ,
@xarvh@functional.cafe avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic Yeah, probably best.
Sorry you couldn't play. =(

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Does anyone else have surging electric?

I thought somebody had changed a light bulb in my bathroom, but it was just stronger electric. It explains why my air conditioner and refrigerator intermittently grind and chug up and down.

I'm in a residential hotel, and chalking it up to extra draw from somebody earlier in the circuit. Like when the people downstairs take a shower, mine gets colder.

Uair OP ,
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@dweebish @actuallyautistic

I've started doing that. I flip the kitchen circuit breaker at night just 'cuz it's noisy.

Now that I've identified the problem, I'll start unplugging the A/C as best I can. Without a window that opens, I kinda need it.

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@Uair @dweebish @actuallyautistic
gawd, the cheap new fridge in here is noisy as Hell, and it’s s motors and strain and fluids - it seems to be straining with digestion, sounds like the “something,” from the Pepto commercial . 😈🤣

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic @microfiction

I collected my Masto microfiction if anybody's interested in a blog post with 10 lil' stories, most under 500 chars:

https://open.substack.com/pub/poloniousmonk/p/some-microfiction?r=1xr9v7&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Somebody broke into my home today.

They changed a light bulb I couldn't get at.

My life is bizarre.

Jobob ,
@Jobob@mastodon.me.uk avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic that is odd!

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Just bitchin'.

Man, I feel awful. My ears are always ringing these days, from moderately loud to gonging to the point I'm functionally deaf like now. I wake up in night sweats, and have a racing heart any time I lay down. Lying prone feels like sprinting to me. My throat is so swollen I need to use muscles to keep it open, and my face and other parts are swole up to serious puffiness. Plus, my skin is covered with lesions where I picked pellets of yuck out.

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Man, I feel awful. My ears are always ringing these days, from moderately loud to gonging to the point I'm functionally deaf. I wake up in night sweats, and have a racing heart any time I lay down. Lying prone feels like sprinting to me. My throat is so swollen I need to use muscles to keep it open, and my face and other parts are swole up to serious puffiness. Plus, my skin is covered with lesions where I picked pellets of yuck out.

I need a doctor.

liquid_clear ,
@liquid_clear@mastodon.social avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic I suspect your ailments are due to environmental concerns. May you get better soon.

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Random. Just a cool animal. I knew people who would catch and eat them; they'll take off a finger if you don't know how to handle one.

https://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

Fell 6.31 miles without a parachute and survived.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vesna_Vulovi%C4%87

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