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Tim_McTuffty

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An itinerant squirrel poet, aka @MAJ1

New to the whole word smithing thing so don’t be too harsh.

Write as the muse hits me in the face, so output will probably be irregular, but I want to explore a world of art n poetry that has previously eluded me so will be boosting along those lines.

Boosting is the algorithm here, so if you like my stuff please get it out there 🙏

‪https://justmytoots.com/@Tim_Mctuffty

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Tim_McTuffty , to ActuallyAutistic group
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 188 , Saturday 04/05/2024

Up at around 07:30 to a day that promised to be filled with more difficulty than I anticipated it might yesterday morning.

To set the scene:
Last night my MiL , who is very elderly & quite frail but still lives at home with the help of carers , had a fall.
We were contacted by her carers when they found her on the floor as they arrived to make her comfortable for the night.
We live about an hour away by car & both Mrs S. & I had had a few drinks so we had to depend on the carers to sort out getting an ambulance for my MiL who they suspected had broken her leg.
We’ll skip lightly over the fight we had , over the phone , with her to get her to go - she fears the NHS staff might bump her off 🙄🤦‍♂️ .

So we went to bed with all this hanging over our heads.

Thusly we arrive at Saturday morning:
The hospital has called , apparently while in a lot of pain my MiL has just got a sprained ankle. This is good !
They are sending her home later , but Mrs S. has a somewhat fraught relationship with her mum so while we are on standby in case anything untoward happens she is letting the hospital sort out returning her Mum home.
This sits uncomfortably with me, I feel that herself should make some effort here.
Don’t get me wrong she gets her mums shopping once a week , & see’s to her administrative well being, but when a loved one (even a semi estranged one) is in distress I think that one should step up.
Once I would have pushed the point, but I no longer have the spoons to deal with the resulting fallout, so I will keep my thoughts to myself & let the situation play out as it will.

We spent an uneasy afternoon watching TV, waiting for the phone to go, finally got a a call late this afternoon, turns out that they are keeping my MiL in hospital, sounds like they suspect a possible broken hip & have scheduled a CT scan for tomorrow .

Watching the last of the Terminator franchise (Dark Fate) while eating Chinese takeaway.

Final Thoughts.

Sometimes plans change in a heartbeat due to reasons way out of our control, once again I will spend an uneasy night wondering if my MiL is ok.

I wish that Mrs S. & her mum had a better relationship , it disturbs me at a fairly fundamental level that herself is yet to check in with her mum either in person or on the phone.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@ldmay65 @actuallyautistic Hey Donna 🤗🥰

I hope so too .

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@DoubleTreble @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@skyfire747 @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏 😊🫶🐿️🖖

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@TCMuffin @actuallyautistic Hey Jayne, to be fair to Mrs S. she does get her mum’s shopping once a week & sorts out her appointments etc, but I wish she would show a little more empathy.

As you say , we’re all different.

Much love back my dear friend 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty , to ActuallyAutistic group
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 190 , Sunday 05/05/2024

Sunday dawned bright an sunny, I checked the time - 6am , blinkin sun!
So I turned over & got another couple of hours sleep in 😆

My MiL is still in hospital, she was supposed to have a CT scan today but apparently it’s bust .. so another nights stay. Mrs S. went to see her as my EDFitis is still ongoing making traveling very uncomfortable !

Spent a quiet day playing Fo4 , nothing like killing super mutants to calm the nerves 😂

The hospital visit didn’t go very well for various reasons so I treated Mrs S. to a takeaway for her tea.

Final Thoughts.

I really have not felt very sociable today so spent very little time on Mastodon, my whole being is shrinking away from contact at the moment , I wonder if it is the stress of dealing with the whole situation with my MiL & its repercussions.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Morning CDP 🧚‍♀️🥰

Thank you 🙏 , I’ll pass that on . 😊

I slept ok right up until the reminder for my meds went off !

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Indeed !!

Tim_McTuffty , to ActuallyAutistic group
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 188 , Friday 03/05/2024

Up early this morning despite Mrs S. being on holiday & me feeling ruff as a bears bum due to nightmares overnight & what I am now calling EDFitis - the whole thing with the dizziness & the nausea.

I made breakfast & hung out the laundry , spending some time roaming the Fediverse before hitting FO4.

Continued the Supernatural fest this evening.

Final Thoughts.

I’m supposed to go to a family birthday do tomorrow, I hope I’m well enough !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@HeatherMJ @actuallyautistic Thanks Heather 🤗🥰

Hope you’re having a good day sweetie 😊

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty , to ActuallyAutistic group
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 186 , Thursday 02/05/2024

So I’ve been feeling ruff as a bears bum for a few days now (again , you would think more regular exercise would take me the other way 🙄) so I planned to try and sleep thru to 8ish. I put in my ear plugs & set the alarm accordingly.

I was awake at 05:50 … a mix of my traitorous body responding to its Pavlovian training & the noise of herself romping round the house like baby elephant , in that considerate way she has.

So here I sit, my brain is moving at glacial speeds & my body feels like a train hit it.
At least she’s in the office today, so a day of peace & quiet!

I hate how little I am able to do at the moment , either thru illness or depression stealing my motivation.
Sometimes I wish I had a child , or a dog - they seem to be highly motivational from what I can see from the lives of others who have them.
I would be a terrible father or dog owner though , so probably best all round that I avoid both .

Oh while I’m on a roll I WISH my tinnitus would give me a break! It’s been screaming so loud in my ears for days now!

Where to go next on my ASD journey has been on my mind for a few days, the GPs completely negative reaction last time I went to see him has ripped me asunder. Where I had a set path now I flounder in indecision. I guess I have to decide if I need to be able to function better in society , or whether I just stick 2 fingers up at society & return to being a hermit.

Had a really epic FO4 session today after I finished my chores & then when Mrs S. got home we went & did our civic duty & voted - me being plagued by dizzy spells, nausea & exhaustion on the walk there and back & her being plagued by her dodgy knee ! We made a right pair, I think the thing that holds our marriage together at the moment is the need for mutual physical support , together we make a whole working person !

Caved & watched the first episode of Fallout - I’ve missed a couple of the games so I don’t know just how true it is to the earlier games, but I (& surprisingly Mrs S.) enjoyed it , so yeah, roll on ep 2 !

Final Thoughts.

Others write of monumental achievements , of beating challenges , or of coping with pain or personal circumstances that would reduce a normal person to jelly. I wish I were that strong.

I defo have EDFitis again , & it seems as though it’s gonna take its own sweet time to pass. Bummer !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@androcat @HistoPol @actuallyautistic Morning mon ami 👋😊

Yep, pretty much.

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@HistoPol @androcat @actuallyautistic Currently lacking the spoons to pursue it, but I guess chasing the GP who sorted the referral for my ASD Dx will be the next step.

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@Tooden @pathfinder @everyday_human @PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Morning Huggs (extra g to stop the auto replace kicking in 😆 ) 🤗🥰

Thank you 🙏 , I often think I’m writing nonsense so I’m glad some of my mental dribbling helps 😊

Have a good day 😊🫶🐿️🖖

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@androcat @HistoPol @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@alstonvicar @PixysJourney @actuallyautistic There is another GP at the same practice who is very good, he’s just never there very much 🙄🤦‍♂️

I’m toying with moving to another GP a little further down the valley, but all that is in obeyance until I recover from a stress related condition.

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@alstonvicar @PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏

Tim_McTuffty OP ,
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@GreenRoc @actuallyautistic Hey Roc, glad you had a good sleep 😊

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