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ScruffyDux

@[email protected]

I love #FOSS & #libre, I love everything #creative, and I ESPECIALLY love libre creative software.

#Vegan - anti-speciesist not just plant-based

#Autistic - the disability AND the neurotype

#Krita #Inkscape #MyPaint #Kdenlive #GodotEngine #Blender #GIMP

Daily driving #KDE on #Manjaro #Linux.

Favorite art styles/techniques are digital painterly, photo manipulation, pen & ink, pixel art, vivid vector art.

Newly obsessed with mini painting.

Avatar and header both drawn in Krita.

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pathfinder , to ActuallyAutistic group
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@actuallyautistic

Autistic brains be stupid. Well, obviously not stupid, they just seem to work, or not work, in mysterious ways.

The main one that has always got me, about mine, is that I have no memory for sound, absolutely none. I can't remember a song, or a sound. I can't remember what my parents sounded like and none of my memories carry, for want of a better word, a soundtrack. I can remember what I was thinking and what others were saying, but not hearing them say it, nor any other sound. I also don't dream in sound, at least as far as I know. All my dreams are silent.

And yet, and it's a big yet. I have an excellent memory for voices and sounds. Like many autistics I have near perfect pitch, at least when I'm hearing others sing, or music playing. Just don't ask me to reproduce it, because I can't. If I meet someone I haven't met for a while, then I will almost certainly not recognise their face, or remember their name, but there is a very good chance that I will recognise them from their voice. I am also very good at detecting accents. Even the slightest hint of one in, say, an actor pretending to be an american, will get me searching Wikipedian to see if I am right about their actual nationality.

So, if I can tell the sound of a Honda CBR engine two blocks away, or a voice, or an accent buried deep, I must have the memories to compare against. And yet... nope.

So, as I said, autistic brains be stupid.


ScruffyDux ,
@ScruffyDux@fosstodon.org avatar

@pathfinder @arisummerland @actuallyautistic I have a suggestion on how to remember, based on similar experience: by recalling the reaction you had during the dream as an observer to its content.

I recently confirmed to myself my dream visuals are much higher fidelity than my waking visualization this way. That's because during a dream I had a strong reaction to how visually beautiful an island was, though when I woke my visual memory of the island was too foggy to have caused that reaction.

ScruffyDux ,
@ScruffyDux@fosstodon.org avatar

@pathfinder @arisummerland @actuallyautistic Occasionally I've been able to prompt dream topics by deliberately fixating on them before sleep. I wonder if you could prompt a dream of attending a concert or something similar, then try to remember your dreaming reaction.

Would be very curious to hear what you might learn.

pa , to ActuallyAutistic group
@pa@hachyderm.io avatar

@NPR Here we go again... "treating autism". NPR, can't you do better? Or we're going back to treating homosexuality and transgender as well? 🤬
@actuallyautistic

ScruffyDux ,
@ScruffyDux@fosstodon.org avatar

@pa @Dremmwel @NPR @actuallyautistic Part of the autistic hyperconnected brain wiring I rolled is a malfunctioning pain system.

In a nutshell, it's hyperactive in the way vision and hearing can be for many. So every day for me is physically painful trying to do run of the mill basic things, with the pain ranging from mild to intense. It's extremely disabling and psychologically taxing.

I'd give just about anything to have rewiring treatment for that aspect of my autistic brain.

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