ScottSoCal

hosford42 , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

This could be the connection between Ehlers-Danlos and neurodivergence. (People with EDS, like me, are 7 times as likely to be autistic and 5 times as likely to have ADHD -- also like me.)

Cartilage-Like Structures Key to Brain Plasticity - Neuroscience News
https://neurosciencenews.com/brain-plasticity-memory-cs6-26042/

#EDS
#EhlersDanlos
#autism
#ADHD
#AuDHD
#neurodivergence
#neurodiversity
@autistic[email protected]
@neurodivergence
@actuallyautistic
@eds

ScottSoCal , 19 days ago

@androcat

I've mostly heard "idiopathic", which is medical for "we don't know why".

@Zumbador @miaoue @hosford42 @cykonot @autistic[email protected] @neurodivergence @actuallyautistic @eds

Zumbador , 21 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

I'm trying to figure out something about dealing with /avoiding conflict.

When I'm in conflict with someone, I'll often avoid confronting them, because I don't trust them. I might like them, but I don't trust their ability to respond appropriately.

I find that honest conversations mean making myself vulnerable to some extent, and if someone has hurt me, or is annoyed with me, it doesn't feel safe to be that vulnerable.

I reserve conversations like that for people who are very close to me, that I trust, like my husband and my father.

I usually hide my anger and annoyance, because it feels like they don't deserve to see my honest emotions.

But I don't think this is a healthy strategy.

#ActuallyAutistic

ScottSoCal , 20 days ago

@toolsontech @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

And this is where reality sucks. It can't follow the script.
If people only knew how much energy I put into creating the script, rehearsing it, updating and amending it, rehearsing more. But it's like they don't even care. Instead of following the script, they wander off into topics never mentioned in the script.

ScottSoCal , 20 days ago

@Zumbador

It sounds like a variation on my coping mechanism. I'm always ready to walk away, no matter who it is or how much space I've created for them in my life. Enough times of figuring out I wasn't as important to someone else as they were to me, and I just decided no one is indispensable. It's my self-protection, as messed up as it may be.

@actuallyautistic

melindrea , 21 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Reading wikipedia on autism for Reasons (tm).

I don't get it. Why is it so important that we don't stim? Like, there are some that are contextually inappropriate (loud noises when it might disturb others, for instance), but outside of those few things ... what's the problem with hand flapping, body wiggling, hair twirling, vocalizing in repetitive ways when it's not distracting/disturbing, etc, etc, etc?

Bah, humbug >.< @actuallyautistic

ScottSoCal , 21 days ago

@melindrea

People who aren't ND find it distracting or annoying. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me kid-me to stop fidgeting / squirming / clicking / tapping / popping my lips / rubbing my pants leg / whatever , I could buy an island and retire to it.

@actuallyautistic

ScottSoCal , 20 days ago

@crashglasshouses

It's possible they were trying to avoid the mistakes their parents made, so they were in uncharted territory.
I know when I was looking at becoming a parent, one of the most important things to me was not to re-create the abuse my parents created.

@violetmadder @melindrea @actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty , 21 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 225 , Sunday 09/06/2024

Had a nice long lay in today, up at around 8am.

My stomach survived trial by pizza so a normal breakfast was enjoyed.

Quiet day , mostly catching up on here.

Binge watched ‘Red Eye’ (the recent ITV series) exciting stuff !

So this is why I rarely step in to discussions on SM.
My NT nature makes me blunt, it also sometimes makes the reality of a situation very clear to me.
This is the case with climate change.
Don’t get me wrong , I am fully aware of the problem, its causes, in my own way I do my little bit to fight the good fight.
I made a comment today, to the effect that I did not believe that efforts to tame the oil industry would succeed, I was politely, but firmly told to shut up & bugger off.
Fine, I will know better next time, that this is a polarised area of discussion & those that point out realities are not tolerated by either side. I shall hold my peace & watch what happens.
I could turn this diary into a socio/political platform to air my views but I’m not going to, it is not for that. However when folks are intolerant I feel that that deserves a mention.

Final Thoughts.

Humaning is hard, that’s why am Squirrel!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

ScottSoCal , 21 days ago

@Tim_McTuffty

One day I realized why my favorite characters in Star Trek are my favorites. The Doctor, Seven of Nine, both trying to figure out how to human, never quite getting it, and sometimes deciding it's just too much hassle.

@ldmay65 @actuallyautistic

Zumbador , 21 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic
I'm visiting family, and wow am I deep in autistic denial territory.

Some of my younger relatives have approached me, asking about neurodivergence because I've been so open about my experience as a late realised autistic person. They're wondering about themselves and their parents.

The older people though, are unable to have that conversation. There are jokey, sidelong half acknowledgements that "there might be something going on" with them, but otherwise it's High Masking At All Times.

What I find difficult to deal with is the rather toxic judgemental attitudes.

So-and-so relative is "so picky about his food, he thinks it makes him important" or "how ridiculous, he doesn't like the too bright light in the bathroom" and all the while I can see them struggling to deal with the exact same difficulties they're judging in others.

It's so ingrained, I don't know if there's a way for them to find self acceptance.

#ActuallyAutistic

ScottSoCal , 21 days ago

@punishmenthurts

My autism presents opposite to that. I have hyperlexia, taught myself to read by the time I was 3 or 4, was reading at an adult level by the time I was in 3rd grade. My school records all say I didn't perform to the level they expected.
I have a lifetime of being a disappointment.

@dpnash @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

ScottSoCal , 21 days ago

@punishmenthurts

I bought myself this shirt a few years ago. 🤣 Just kind of claiming it.

@dpnash @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

filmfreak75 , 27 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic has anyone tried this and if so, how did it work for you…

Autism & Emails Does A Disclaimer Help Misunderstanding

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/autism-email-problems

ScottSoCal , 27 days ago

@willaful

I tend to keep personal information (and I consider this personal) to myself, or share it only with a very small group. Telling someone else, in my experience, lets them feel free to offer their opinions. About me. Unsolicited. I'm uncomfortable with that.

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty , 27 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 219 , Monday 03/06/2024

Another disturbed night, slightly better than last night because I had learnt some lessons on ewhat my foot would & would not tolerate.

Went to see the GP this morning, I have, in fact, got gout . So on a 4 day course of Colchicine … the GP was very specific about the 4 days - apparently 5 days = my entire digestive system liquifying & a decent stay in the local hospital !

The new meds are working a storm in association with the pain killers , this evening I am walking (well shuffling) sans crutches ! It hurts like hell, but importantly it is bearable !
I hope that this means that I will get some decent sleep tonight !

Also made an appointment to see yon GP about my ADHD assessment in a week or so , so the journey continues !

Final Thoughts.

I am so relieved to be coming out of the other side of this gout flare up , is has been one of the most painful experiences of my life !
Hopefully future episodes will be avoided via ongoing medication.

I really hope that seeing yon GP later this month will be a positive move in my ASD journey !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

ScottSoCal , 27 days ago

@Tim_McTuffty

I'm happy my experience was useful for you, less so that it came after you'd had it so long.

@actuallyautistic

filmfreak75 , 27 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic i do a lot of meeting requests and receive a lot of emails that start like this:

"Good morning!

I hope you all had excellent weekends.”

I start mine like this, and because of this, am considered an asshole:

“[Name] would like to set up a one hour call on this topic. Please let me know if any of the following times work:”

…because heaven forbid we be efficient and clear in our communication

ScottSoCal , 27 days ago

@bhawthorne

A co-worker of mine is determined, in a friendly way, to force me into small talk. When I need to go see him about something he wants me to greet, ask customary questions (How are you?) Habit on his part is to protest by saying "We don't sleep together, so you can't just demand." He stopped saying that - or laughs after he says it - because I responded with "That's not my fault, you're the straight one."

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic

loops , 27 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Travelling today. Airport security at the disabled line told me I can “just use these next time”, gesturing to the regular automated gates.

When I followed the accessible entrance, I found it was routed to come out into the general security area, with the big crowd that goes with it.

It seems the only difference is the wider gate, to fit a wheelchair.

Back at the entrance, I said to security, look I use this line because it’s usually separate. I get anxious in big crowds, and I can’t really tolerate it right now.

Security said to me, gesturing towards the hall: “look we have all these people right now, so we can’t have a separate place to keep it separate, because it would slow things down”

I told them “that’s why it’s an accommodation. Because it’s not the usual”. Security acted very put out, but did eventually help me out.

I don’t always have the spoons to fight. Many people I know never do. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have needs.

#InvisibleDisabilities are disabilities. The #sunflowerLanyard I wear isn’t for fashion, it’s to make that visible. People don’t always have the spoons to stand up.

I don’t have to convince you I have a disability. There’s more - a lot more - to accessible spaces than physical movement concerns. Your staff should be looking actively for ways to help, not waiting for people to take up a fight they might not be able to.

I’m ok. Decompressing in the bathroom because they don’t have a quiet spot.

#neurodiversity #actuallyAutistic #neuroInclusivity #a11y #accessibleTravel #autismAccessibility #airportAccessibility #travel #airport @actuallyautistic

ScottSoCal , 27 days ago

@bluGill

What I'm getting from this is that you've never been in an airport. There's always a line at security. In the US, at Heathrow, at Munich airport, there's a line. Seen it with my own two eyes.

@actuallyautistic
@loops

ScottSoCal , 27 days ago

@bluGill

Ah, so it was sarcasm, not an attack on @loops
Good to know.

@actuallyautistic @loops

Zumbador , 27 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Here's something that causes friction between me and my family.

Someone asks me to make a decision about something I don't have a strong preference, but they want me to have a preference.

"do you want x or y? "

Saying "I don't care" comes across as rude, and even softening it as "I don't really have a preference" or turning it back to them by saying "what do you think?" isn't appreciated. They want me to care.

I understand that they want me to choose so they don't have to do that emotional labour. That's fair. But often when I do choose (at random), they try to change my mind, and then I'm back to square one because I don't really care, and I don't want to lie!

A honest answer would be "I'm depressed, I don't want to exist. Putting on a polite face is taking up all my effort, expecting me to actually care is beyond my capacity"

But that's too heavy for most interactions.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, just writing it out.

#ActuallyAutistic

ScottSoCal , 27 days ago

@Zumbador

What usually causes the friction in my house is when I have a strong preference against something, but can't articulate a reason why. I'm just not up for it right now. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, but not right now.

@actuallyautistic

18+ ashleyspencer , 27 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

In 2019, every morning for months I ate pop tarts for breakfast when I first got to work.

Then I got sick of them and didn’t eat them again for 5 years until last week. Now I’m eating them every day again lol.

Anyone else do that where you eat a same food every day until you’re sick of it and don’t eat it again until years later?

@actuallyautistic

18+ ScottSoCal , 27 days ago

@ashleyspencer

I eat one meal a day - lunch. Breakfast is coffee/cream and a few handfuls of mixed unsalted nuts. Lunch is whatever dish I cooked that week. This week it's chicken fajita (chicken / peppers / onions / mushrooms, jalapeno cheese, no tortillas) with an orange and apples for dessert. Dinner is whatever fruit is left over from lunch. I'll eat this all week, and next week it'll be a different main course, but the same everything else.

@actuallyautistic