@MargotB@social.anoxinon.de cover
@MargotB@social.anoxinon.de avatar

MargotB

@[email protected]

Gegen Ausgrenzung, Hass und Hetze.
Ich mag Natur, Berge, Katzen, meinen Garten.
Und keine Nazis, AFD und Schwurbler.
ABA is abuse!

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Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Here's something that causes friction between me and my family.

Someone asks me to make a decision about something I don't have a strong preference, but they want me to have a preference.

"do you want x or y? "

Saying "I don't care" comes across as rude, and even softening it as "I don't really have a preference" or turning it back to them by saying "what do you think?" isn't appreciated. They want me to care.

I understand that they want me to choose so they don't have to do that emotional labour. That's fair. But often when I do choose (at random), they try to change my mind, and then I'm back to square one because I don't really care, and I don't want to lie!

A honest answer would be "I'm depressed, I don't want to exist. Putting on a polite face is taking up all my effort, expecting me to actually care is beyond my capacity"

But that's too heavy for most interactions.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, just writing it out.

MargotB ,
@MargotB@social.anoxinon.de avatar

@Zumbador @actuallyautistic This is exactly how conversations work in the family of my husband. This was very difficult for me at the beginning of our relationship, because in my family we just said yes/no or "I'd like to eat the rest of the salad" and everyone meant what they said.

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