CuriousMagpie

Susan60 , 23 hours ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Someone sent this to me a while back & I’ve only just got around to looking at it. (ADHD) Rang a lot of bells, & is no doubt another factor is late diagnosis.
#ActualyAutistic @actuallyautistic

https://poweredbylove.ca/2017/11/21/atypical-autism-traits/comment-page-1/#comments

AnAutieAtUni , 9 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

The power of mentoring for me as an autistic adult and mature university student:

Just had my last (maybe, ever) mentor session with a mentor who has supported me with my university studies since December 2021. All thanks to the Disabled Students Allowance (England / UK). It’s just hitting me now how sad I am and how much I’ll miss her.

I didn’t really know what mentoring was beforehand, didn’t know why it was recommended to me as an autistic student by my DSA assessor, but finding such a wonderful mentor has literally been life changing, not to mention that I’ve finally completed a degree after several (5!) attempts!

As a mature student, my mentor said that my mentoring sessions focused more on helping me remember experience and skills I mostly already had and encouraging me to find ways to apply them in this new context (in university studies). I often got completely stuck, couldn’t break down big challenges into smaller, manageable problems to solve, so she would ask me questions to help me uncover more information and do this for myself. She never gave me the answers, only an occasional toolset or framework for me to use. Basically, she was helping me to help myself, otherwise known as ‘self-management principles’. This is massively empowering due to the long-term benefits. I did also sometimes need help with basics that the younger students needed help with too, like ensuring I have food at home to sustain me, especially during the most intense times. Each term, each module, each assessment all presented new situations and challenges, as it does for all students, so this skill development process was ongoing and ever changing.

The goals I chose for the mentor sessions always included getting into the habit of remembering well-being and incorporating it into my plans and daily habits. As someone who also has a chronic illness, this is essential. I am still not the best at this, though, but I’m grateful for this practice, the chance to pick up new skills and toolsets, and especially all the chances to reflect on my progress with someone who gently held me accountable (to my own goals).

My first assigned mentor was a bad fit, though - very unreliable, disorganised. I’m so glad I mentioned this to the company that supplied the mentors, and especially talked about the challenges to me as an autistic student. They heard me out and assigned me to this different mentor very quickly.

I’m sharing all this in the hopes it inspires someone else to accept support when it’s available and they think it could help them. It felt SO strange to me to have this support after so many adult years without it, but I now see why it was recommended to me. The positive effects and skills I learned will stay with me for life, well beyond the degree.

—

If you have a positive story about accepting support for a disability, feel free to share it below. It could be during academic studies, or could be at work, or in general life. We don’t all NEED support, and not all the time, but many of us struggle to accept help when it’s available and we need it most. I know I certainly do.

@actuallyautistic

pathfinder , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Burnout is a bitch. I think all of us who have experienced it, or are experiencing it, will agree with that. But, how it presents and how long it maintains its hold over us, seems to be as variable as so much else about us.

I can now recognise the many times I have experienced burnout in my life. Each one marked by my constant refrain of, "I'm just tired" and with me doggedly plodding on with my life as best I could. Even now, in the deepest and longest burnout of my life, I am still doing the same.

Of course, I at least know to try and pace myself now. To let the unimportant things slide until their time comes and to spread out what has to be done, to the best of my ability. I know to dedicate time to self-care, to rest and recreation and to acknowledging my needs as an autistic person. This much, realising you are autistic can teach you. It can also help you to spot the signs of burning out sooner and hopefully mitigate its effects that way.

When that's possible, of course. For what caused my current burnout was unfortunately a series of overlapping events that I could not avoid, or do anything about. It was almost as if life chose to keep throwing things at me, each more intense and impossible to avoid, until I broke. But then life can be like that sometimes.

Autistic burnout is, of course, different from normal burnout, in what causes it and how it presents. It is, more often than not, a breakdown of our ability to cope with the demands being placed on us and not with how much we can carry. We are used to carrying insane loads and with having to work so much harder than most other people, just to keep putting one foot in front of the other through life. In fact, I know that I never really rest, not even now. My life is one long and continuous assessment and checking on whether the routines I have in place are being maintained. Whether I have done everything, on what needs to be done and finding new ways to blames myself for why it hasn't been done yet. There is no such thing as not working as far as my brain is concerned. And because I never stop, I don't know how to stop. How to heed the signals of tiredness and exhaustion and how to not knuckle down and continue anyway. It has been the story of my life. In work and everywhere else, always push, push, push.

And perhaps this is why autistic burnout is so common and possibly even inevitable. The sheer effort that life already is. The constant raggedy edge we walk just to get through a day and how in doing this day after day, all we end up doing is teaching ourselves to ignore the warning signs and that our needs are even important. And end up learning instead, that all that really matters is the next plodding step, no matter the load we are already carrying.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

pathfinder , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

After joining a post by Niamh Garvey (hopefully a successful link to it below) about whether she had adhd as well as autism, I have spent the last couple of days contemplating this idea for myself as well.

I am still not entirely convinced, but I am beginning to suspect that I might well be in this situation as well. After watching a number of YouTube videos from those with both autism and adhd and reading up on adhd, I can see a number of things that point on that direction certainly, although I'm not entirely convinced.

I have always been aware of the near overwhelming urge to either interrupt people, because there is something I want to say and if I don't then, then I know there is a more than a reasonable chance that I will forget what it was. I also have a tendency to want to finish people's sentences. Both of these things though I have taught myself to resist. Even though I feel a great deal of discomfort doing so. I am also more than aware that I can forget what I was saying, or thinking, halfway through a sentence. That digging through the trash to find the package with the instructions on, that I only just threw away after reading, is not uncommon. As is failing completely to understand or remember the instructions someone just gave me.

But then, my short term (working) memory is basically non-existent. But, I'm also aware that this is a fairly common problem for autistics and even before I realised I was autistic, I built up systems to help myself deal with this. As well as with my general forgetfulness. Lists, memory aids, even making the route out of my flat a trip hazard to make sure I don't forget to take something with me. Also, I live alone and essentially there is a place for everything and everything has its place. Not foolproof and I have lost things in a very small flat that I still haven't found. But generally speaking effective.

I struggle to start tasks, especially tasks that I have no real interest, or desire to do. Being interested in something has always been my main motivator. But eventually, I can normally force myself and work my way through things, especially if I know they are necessary. Knowing I have this problem is also why I hate leaving things to the last moment. I know that I am more than capable of doing that if I allow myself, but also that the stress from doing so is nearly overwhelming, even if it can be motivational. As is the stress of clutter. Not the organised clutter that is my flat, where I know where everything is, as in somewhere in that pile over there, but the clutter that builds up eventually and begins to feel as if it is out of control.

Novelty is a factor in my life. Or, boredom, rather. Because sooner, although far more likely later, I will grow bored with routines, or things like safe foods, and need to change them. Many of my interests also seem to suffer from a similar threshold. A certain point where I lose interest and no longer feel any need to maintain them, even though this might make me feel guilty about giving up on them. In fact, I hate boredom and I have always needed a certain amount of new things to watch, or discover and to be actively doing stuff, if only in my head. And whilst I have never thought of myself as being particularly spontaneous or impulsive. I am, within certain limits of self-control. There is a rationality that often has to be appeased that gives me a sense of control. I have also taken stupid risks and great risks. But rarely beyond what I knew was necessary, or to my mind, at least, controlled to a point.

I can be easily distracted, by random thoughts or by, (well obviously not squirrels, I mean who would be? but, oh, oh, there's a butterfly) things. But not always to the point that I'm not at least marginally still aware of what I should be paying attention to. Letting myself wander whilst maintaining at least a marginal awareness is an old trick of mine. I have always been a fidgeter, but that's also how I maintained concentration. Feeling the overwhelming need to move, has always seemed to me to be anxiety driven, or is the way I focus and think. In fact, movement for me has always been as much about settling and regulating myself, as it has been compulsive.

As I said, there are certain things that seem to fit, even if they also seem to have been effected and possibly modified by my autism. I would love to hear your thoughts.

https://beige.party/@[email protected]/112390279791932822#

CuriousMagpie , 1 month ago to bookstodon group

I #amreading Arboreality by Rebecca Campbell and my heart is breaking at the beauty of her words describing an untenable reality of climate change. This is a book I will read read slowly to savor. @bookstodon