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Autisticaurochs

@[email protected]

not actually an aurochs, sometimes (metaphorically) a cow, always trying to work out whether I'm really autistic. queer, likes reading, much anxiety.

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Autisticaurochs , to ActuallyAutistic group
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@actuallyautistic
What are some less obvious ways you engage in your special interests? Like, if your interest is a TV show, you can watch it - but you could look at screenshots from it, or read fanfic about it, or... what else? Or if your interest is a sport, you can play it, but what about on days when you need to rest? I'm looking for ways to have more special interest time without that always meaning the same activity and I'd like to hear about what's worked for you.

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Autistic humans have more trouble staying asleep and falling asleep than our allistic peers.

Solid and consistent sleep is essential for our regulation.

What’s your relationship with sleep like?

@actuallyautistic

Autisticaurochs ,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Exactly what you said. It's often difficult for me to fall asleep - I can get stuck in anxious thoughts unless I either read something or deliberately focus on an idea (usually a special interest thought is easiest to attend to). I often wake up several times in the night and if I'm woken, or more stressed or anxious than usual, it can be difficult to get back to sleep. Contrary to the usual rules, I find it helps to have a light on.

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Does anyone else find that their music taste is extremely unconventional? I can enjoy most types of music with others, but when I'm alone I listen to stuff that most people would never listen to. Like historical folk songs, military marches, courtly dance music, sea shanties, etc.

I enjoy other music too but I feel like the above categories are things I am "ashamed" to play around others. Idk if that makes sense lol.

Autisticaurochs ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic Yes - not in exactly the same way, but in that I can't answer the question "what kind of music do you like?" What I actually like is This Song and That Song and The Other Song, and those three are all the music I need right now, until one of them changes. But they might all be from different genres and have apparently nothing in common. I don't generally try to explain this at all but just say I'm not really into music.

catswhocode , to ActuallyAutistic group
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@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd Another question for both groups: do you find you have "spiky intelligence"? As in, you might be amazing in some areas like math, programming, etc., but struggle with executive functions. I'm good with a lot of artistic fields, but definitely struggle with organization, finances, navigation, etc. My wife and I compensate for each others' challenges.

Autisticaurochs ,
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@catswhocode @actuallyautistic Yes, absolutely. I'm good with words (but not letters) and bad with numbers (but okay with algebra and logical notation). I'm good with patterns and systems, with networks and connections, because I can synthesize lots of details into an overall picture, and bad with feelings. I can use my skill with patterns to cover some other gaps: a complex to-do list to cover disorganization, a detailed routine to avoid forgetting things, and sometimes to guess what to say.

Autisticaurochs , to ActuallyAutistic group
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Any tips for making lots of small tasks easier for a monotrophic mind? Much of my work consists of long term projects which need a little bit of attention periodically, often in the form of follow-up emails. I currently alternate between replying to what's come in and reviewing my calendar to check what's coming up, but there's very little job satisfaction. Turning off email notifications and dealing with them all at once isn't enough. What else could I try? @actuallyautistic

autism101 , to ActuallyAutistic group
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Do you have any clothing routines? I own eight gray plain t-shirts with no tags which I love. I often will just wear them over and over again.

@actuallyautistic

Autisticaurochs ,
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@autism101 @actuallyautistic Like many other contributors to this thread, I have basically one outfit. I have multiple almost identical items so I can wash them without changing too much: sets of t-shirts, the same hoodie in two colours, always the same type of socks. I have a favourite design of skirt and am so glad now I've found an online shop which keeps selling the same one over and over. Seasonal fashion changes make shopping in person very difficult.

olena , to ActuallyAutistic group
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

Speaking of joking.
When I was young, pretty often when I wanted to make a joke, I was too embarrassed to do that personally, so instead of joking directly, I’d add “as one of my friends says…”, or “as I’ve read recently…”(obviously, there were no friend and no book, it was just some snarky comment I came up with and desperately wanted to drop). I didn’t do that with serious things, it was just a way to slip in a joke - because doing it openly felt too daring for some reason.
When I got older, I used to do it less and less often, and now (almost?) don’t do that (probably?), but I still don’t quite understand why I was: what it was actually for, why did I need, what it was supposed to solve.
Is this also some thing? Something related to RSD? Part of autistic masking? Or just my own weird thing?
@actuallyautistic

Autisticaurochs ,
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@olena @actuallyautistic I've done this. I also say things like "you might already know..." or "perhaps someone told you..." ahead of information or news, which I think is a way of lowering expectations or making it seem okay to raise a particular subject.

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
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What effect has bullying had on my comrades?

You’re not alone.

@actuallyautistic

Autisticaurochs ,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic It's hard to know - I experienced a lot of passive stuff, like being ignored by all my classmates, which may or may not really count as bullying, and my general social struggles at that age are hard to distinguish from my experience of school generally... I do sometimes use situations where I was actively bullied as data points in deciding what to do/avoid now, so in that sense even one-off events are still affecting me.

axnxcamr , to ActuallyAutistic group
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@actuallyautistic

Very sorry to come to you with a request, having being here only for a short time, but I am in dire need of advice.

My 16yo son is autistic. He always had perfect grades and school was always easy for him. But this year, he's reached his limits. He cannot motivate himself any longer. School is boring and pointless. He likes Maths, Sciences and Music a lot, but nothing else.

I fear he'll drop out if his case worsens... and I know first-hand the guilt dropping out inflicts...

Autisticaurochs ,
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@axnxcamr @actuallyautistic Is there a way for him to just do those subjects? When I was 16-18, in England, I was doing A-levels and only expected to study three or four subjects - maths, music, and a couple of sciences would be a common and encouraged combination. I know options may be limited by geography, but perhaps online distance learning would make it possible to swap into a system where specialising younger is normalised by the qualifications involved?

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