First, thanks for the thoughtful and thorough reply.
I am sorry that this is upsetting to you.
It's not upsetting to me, it's just annoying. I strongly support the block early/block often culture that seems to pervade the fediverse, even when that is folks blocking me. I also support the ability to defederate, and strongly support (for example) pre-emptively defederating from threads.
Indeed, such decisions at the user or instance level are potentially messy, but the whole thing just seems self-healing over time to me. There's an equilibrium that needs to be reached, I think, and I doubt we're anywhere near it yet. Some instances are going to end up isolated, either by themselves or by others, and some won't. New instances will spring up, instances will shut down, etc etc. People will move around to find a new instance when needed. It's all really sloppy and the outcome for any one user or instance isn't necessarily going to match the outcome for another. That's freedom to me. And not in some maga "free speech means I get to be a jerk but no one can call me out" way, but in a "we're all empowered to influence our own experience here" way. People can block, instances can defederate, people can deploy their own instance and make it as open or closed or personal or public as they want to. Hot damn.
And all that is going to create friction and people are going to disagree with each other about how to do it and what the right way is, just like we're doing here.
But, despite your very reasonable rationalizations for OP, and regardless of their intent, this very subconversation and others are evidence that this isn't what a discussion about moderation practices looks like. It's what a discussion about publicly calling someone out with a pejorative term for their beliefs looks like. Expressing that opinion, and defending it when required, is the extent of my involvement or concern. I don't share the beliefs of OP nor their target. Whether folks want to change how they are discussing the issue or not is up to them. That's also freedom, in my opinion.
I might migrate instances at some point, I might not, we'll see how things go, but it's not going to be because of this post from OP. Folks can run their instances as they see fit. They don't owe me a platform, nor OP.