What happened with the sphinx though? ( aussie.zone )

Transcription:

How To Confound A Centaur

Centaur: Hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something.

Me: That's fair. How about we–

Centaur: And it can't be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.

Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where's the finish line?

Me: That tree over there. Where's your horse?

Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um...?

Me: You're not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.

Centaur: You want me... a centaur... to RIDE a regular horse.

Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.

Centaur: ...

Me: ...

Centaur: I hate you.

Me: That's fair.

----

bradorsomething ,

Sphinx was probably riddled with puns in that exchange.

Trashcan ,

Dog racing is dogs running without a rider. I'm sure there have happened riderless horseracing before. I spot a fault in the logic!

Zagorath OP ,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Riderless horseracing maybe, but surely never horseless horseracing.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

When you least expect it, a horse-riding centaur...

https://programming.dev/pictrs/image/814b96b7-5063-4c60-adfd-61e7b2eb0451.jpeg

salsa - https://www.deviantart.com/himerosy/art/DnD-Centaur-Mechanics-BaalBuddy-Colorized-911737977

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Clickbait YouTube title:

"Can you beat D&D using only Charisma?"

Bunnylux ,
@Bunnylux@lemmy.world avatar

This pedant is hated my every fantastical creature in the realm.

bradorsomething ,

The Fey Hate This One Trick!

Imgonnatrythis ,

Is it gross if a centaur borks a regular horse?

Zagorath OP ,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

And if the answer to that is yes...is it more or less gross than if the centaur borked a human?

Zozano ,

It depends how it flops.

Does it flop at the first set of legs, or the second?

SkyezOpen ,

Human part tends to end around the navel so... Second.

JoeBigelow ,
@JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca avatar

I can't type what I'm thinking

Zagorath OP ,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Would a centaur have two navels?

SkyezOpen ,

They definitely have two ribcages. That might imply two hearts and multiples of other organs.

Rinn ,

Way less gross. Human and centaur are both intelligent, can communicate, and give consent, so it would be fine. With a horse (which has none of these things) the centaur would be committing bestiality.

AEsheron ,

Well, in many games there is a Speak With Animals spells or equivalent. They are capable of communication, we just usually can't understand.

Logh ,

From the human perpective, probably the horse is a little bit less gross. From the centaur perpective, probably the human is less gross, but I’m only half centaur, so can’t speak for all of them.

BubbleMonkey ,
@BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.net avatar

The hooves must make it difficult for you to type.

Zagorath OP ,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Photo showing a white horse stepping on a large keyboard where the keys are large enough to be easily usable by a horse hoof.

Logh ,

Neigh, it’s the other half.

CaptainBlagbird ,
@CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world avatar

I'm only half centaur

does that mean you are 3/4 human and 1/4 horse?

Or 1/4 human, 3/4 horse?

Or 1/4 human, 1/4 horse and 1/2 something else?

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Only their upper half is centaur - the lower half is human.

GrymEdm ,
@GrymEdm@lemmy.world avatar

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/80e9b562-65bc-49e8-893b-9ded87780b90.jpeg

Flushmaster ,

Apply the Harkness test (self aware intelligence, physical maturity, and ability to communicate consent). Both humans and centaurs pass assuming the individual is a willing adult, horses fail twice due to being nonsapient and uncommunicative.

_skj ,

Sphinx: You there, knight. I am the guardian of this place and cannot allow you to pass without a battle.

Me: My name is Ender, Sir Ender to you. And I'm a bit weary from my long journey here, would you accept a pun battle?

Sphinx: Aye, Sir Ender.

Me: Thank you, please move aside

gmtom ,
@gmtom@lemmy.world avatar

Is the Sphinx Scottish?

_skj ,

To make the setup work, aye

Aielman15 , (edited )
@Aielman15@lemmy.world avatar

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

    •
    Zagorath OP ,
    @Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

    I'm afraid I don't get it.

    Kayana ,

    Try pronouncing the 'a' in pan like the 'a' in large, then you'll end up with a rather well-done pun.

    MossyFeathers ,

    I already do. Is this some weird thing only britoids or Australians understand?

    Zagorath OP ,
    @Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

    RP might use a similar vowel, but even most modern British people don't seem to pronounce these very similarly based on this pronouncing dictionary's advice and sample clips. And I can confirm as an Australian that Australian English accents don't pronounce them remotely similarly.

    MossyFeathers ,

    Ah, I failed to notice your instance which I why I asked about aussies.

    9point6 ,

    A parn?

    Kayana ,

    Got a laugh from me, but I did mean only the 'a', not the 'ar'. I couldn't think of any other English word with that sound unfortunately, do you have a better suggestion?

    9point6 ,

    Unfortunately I can't seem to get it to work for any sound with my hodgepodge of an English accent. Perhaps it could work with a very thick cockney accent, but the length of the vowel would be quite different between the two,

    e.g. puhn and paahn

    Zagorath OP ,
    @Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

    So if you grossly mispronounce the word, it becomes a pun? I don't think that's a very good pun, tbh...

    Kayana ,

    To be honest, I don't really like it either, which might surprise you considering my last sentence. I just couldn't resist making a small pun myself.

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