RPGMemes

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ummthatguy , in Caveat Emptor
@ummthatguy@lemmy.world avatar

Huh, a PG-13 Oglaf comic. How rare.

https://i.imgur.com/nNWOiRi.gif

gibmiser , (edited )

I mean, really with sucking heads it is quite the surprise

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar
mrsemi ,
kbin_space_program ,

They took this from a facebook RPG memes that its been trying to get me to look at. Saw it on my feed today.

Susaga , in No elaboration needed
@Susaga@sh.itjust.works avatar

"Oh, no, not like that. I just take her on a journey through pain and pleasure, tell her what to do, act out wild fantasies, bring her to the brink of tears and have her thank me for it. You know, roleplaying. We actually have a bunch of other guys who do it with us. It's not weird or anything. If you'd like, I wouldn't mind having you too!"

IonAddis ,
@IonAddis@lemmy.world avatar

Dungeons and (bad) Dragons

Susaga , (edited )
@Susaga@sh.itjust.works avatar

"You know, I only really need one or two of these at a time, but I just like collecting them. It's just so nice shaking them in my hand. I must have spent a fortune on them at this point. Heck, I'm even thinking of getting some resin and making my own!"

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

Dungeons and (bed) Dragons

- ftfy:-P

pennomi ,

Just for reference, Bad Dragon is a famous dildo brand, so their joke didn’t really need fixing.

KoboldCoterie ,
@KoboldCoterie@pawb.social avatar

I get the sense that you aren't familiar with 'Bad Dragon', maybe Google can help you. ;)

Tbird83ii ,

Oh, you mean the company that sells game mats and T-shirts?

goferking0 ,

And hats!

acockworkorange ,

My sweet summer child…

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

DISHWASHER-SAFE!? My how technology has changed... :-P

ryannathans ,

Feeling enlightened?

KoboldCoterie ,
@KoboldCoterie@pawb.social avatar

I know, right? Fuckin' wild! So, tell us which one you decide to get!

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

I've been super fortunate with my previous purchases, so most definitely will keep that going for as long as I can to avoid spending more money. Ikr, so practical... - maybe I should consider taking a walk on the wild side! :-P

mosiacmango ,

Wouldn't be the first time.

Tolookah , in "Do you know how many spells are just recycled incantations?"

"Magic missile is just a teleportation spell to a gun range. Create food and water? Teleportation. Teleport? Believe it or not, a hack of disintegration"

AFallingAnvil ,
@AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca avatar

Ah yes, the "every OS but windows -> Linux -> Unix" dynamic

nxdefiant ,

We found a race condition in the teleport code. Turns out the efficiency curve for the restoration magic that undoes the disintegration in real time has a parabolic mana requirement related to mass, but disintegrate has a caterneric curve. For human sized stuff they match up, but if you try to teleport something of sufficient mass the restoration starts to draw a disproportionate amount of mana and the whole thing falls apart.

Also, we need to hire some more QA contractors.

Scribbd ,

How we found out? We knew from the start there would be a discrepancy. Early testing pointed to this problem. And we warned every superior up the chain. But in the end we were ordered to just put a warning on the scroll.

We were only taken serious after a junior magician thought it was funny to teleport an elephant into their observatorium before exams and neglected the warnings. That is how the Mana Void of Barkley Academy was formed.

The superiors were out for blood when the first court summon scrolls appeared, using competitors teleportation technology. That was until we gave them a copy of our manilla scroll holder full with communication of them neglecting to heed our warnings.

Artyom ,

That was thr lore behind infinity blade. All magic rings can be distilled down to short range teleportation, just paired with different locations.

_skj , in What happened with the sphinx though?

Sphinx: You there, knight. I am the guardian of this place and cannot allow you to pass without a battle.

Me: My name is Ender, Sir Ender to you. And I'm a bit weary from my long journey here, would you accept a pun battle?

Sphinx: Aye, Sir Ender.

Me: Thank you, please move aside

gmtom ,
@gmtom@lemmy.world avatar

Is the Sphinx Scottish?

_skj ,

To make the setup work, aye

FermiEstimate , in "Do you know how many spells are just recycled incantations?"

Charles Stross' Laundry series is basically this concept set in the present day: magic is a branch of mathematics, which means it can be computed and programmed.

It is perhaps worth noting at this point the series genre is cosmic horror.

zarlin ,
@zarlin@lemmy.world avatar

That sounds awesome, thanks for the suggestion!

Valmond , (edited )

The gender is actually Lovecraftian, spy thriller, science fiction, and workplace humour source.

It's seriously the best thing I have read in a decade.

Edit: genre I guess 😅 (have been learning French lately so sometimes it messes it all up!).

somethingsomethingidk ,

Gender really is a complex topic huh?

roguetrick ,

I always give that misspelling a pass. It's literally the same word borrowed from French twice.

spaduf ,
@spaduf@slrpnk.net avatar

I've known a few people whose gender I would describe as lovecraftian.

toothpaste_sandwich ,

It's all the appendages, huh.

Zozano ,

I keep getting told not to fetishise another's gender, but my porn addled brain sees tentacles and short circuits to knee socks and midriffs.

daltotron ,

You know fun fact I learned recently from a let's play: tentacles only refer to the appendages which end in suckers, but along the rest of their length, have no suckers. The other appendages are called arms. So, octopuses actually have no tentacles, they have arms. Squids have 8 arms, and 2 extra tentacles, which are the long ones that have little spade shaped sucker hands on them. So, probably when you pictured tentacles, you were actually picturing cephalopod arms.

Valmond ,

I was for sure wondering what you were meaning for starters 😁. Genre, right?

grrgyle ,
@grrgyle@slrpnk.net avatar

The gender is actually Lovecraftian, spy thriller, science fiction

New gender just dropped

wahming ,

I've never felt the urge to explore new genders until I read this...

experbia ,
@experbia@lemmy.world avatar

This series seems to check more boxes than I thought I had...

i'm adding it to the top of the list. Except i don't have a list, so I'm creating a list and adding it to that and therefore it automatically finds itself at the top of it.

slingstone ,

God help the poor mathematical geniuses who accidentally discover that math. If they're lucky, they end up working for the Laundry.

FermiEstimate ,

If they're really lucky, they'll end up working for the Laundry only once. Residual Human Resources is a bad way to go out.

slingstone ,

So that explains the apparent undead working for them...I only read the first book or three and it's been a minute. This is the sign for me to go back and finish the series.

Worthstream , in It's complicated

Sometimes you have to go with the flow. There is now a cabbage and this was the correct solution for the puzzle. Keep the session enjoyable for everyone, the "real solution" doesn't count all that much.

Story time!

A while back, I ran an investigation-based campaign over multiple sessions. Between long breaks in play and general chaos driven by the players, they somehow ended up accusing the one NPC who was actually trying to help them. We ended that session there.

In the downtime, I thought about what happened and had an idea... mostly as a joke - what if I reworked the story so that NPC was actually the real villain? I tried writing it, and it turned out the story could mostly work. A few small details didn't line up perfectly, but the players had forgotten them or wouldn't have made the wrong accusation in the first place. I decided to go with this revised version.

The next session became an epic finale where all the players felt really clever for deducing the plot twist. It was one of the best sessions of the whole campaign because they were playing at their best, feeling empowered.
I think forcing them into a session where they had to try and "fix" their mistake while in a bad mood over having been so confidently wrong wouldn't have been nearly as fun overall.

solivine ,
@solivine@sopuli.xyz avatar

That's an awesome take on it

Empricorn ,

Damn, you sound like a legendary DM!

Archpawn ,

I've heard stories about players finding clues that the DM never intended to leave. Either stuff that wasn't supposed to be important or plot holes. I think it might be good to have a rule that if the players find a certain amount of evidence, then regardless of the intended answer, they're right. Honestly, I think it might be fun to not have an intended solution, and just keep making up details until they find enough plot holes.

Shhalahr ,
@Shhalahr@beehaw.org avatar

The point isn't there being a 'real' solution. The point is that there wasn't really a problem to begin with. This is more like when your party assumes a door is trapped and takes an hour to decide how to approach it, but the door was really just a rotted normal door ready to fall off its hinges.

De_Narm , in No elaboration needed
MouseKeyboard ,

Implying BDSM isn't some nerd shit

SkyeStarfall ,

BDSM and kink is just being nerdy about sex

Danquebec ,

Really? That would explain some things...

Zozano ,

Look at these perverts using acronyms! Fucking nerdverts!

mozz , in DnD with non-native English speakers
@mozz@mbin.grits.dev avatar

I was once involved in a business enterprise with a man who wasn't a native speaker

I had talked to a child about buying some of our stuff, and he was psyched about it and went off to fetch a parent to complete the transaction

I was talking with my colleague about it in the interim, and said of the kid "he was sold" as a way of summarizing his receptiveness to my pitch about our products

My colleague became very alarmed. What do you mean, sold? Who bought him? What do you mean?

It took a while to explain.

zaph ,
@zaph@sh.itjust.works avatar

"well the kid is sold, now I just gotta sell the parents too"

TheMightyCanuck , in A little fear is good
@TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works avatar
ahdok OP , in Why are our characters the protagonists everywhere they go?
@ahdok@ttrpg.network avatar
DmMacniel ,

Ha, Razira and Konsi are sooooo gay!

Happy, Pride Month!

ahdok OP ,
@ahdok@ttrpg.network avatar
DmMacniel ,

On a slightly unrelated note (and perhaps because I assume that Raziras Bisexual themed clothings were paid by KEF):

I wanted to revisit Konsis Enrichment Fund so I put it into Google search. First result lead me to your Lemmy post where Konsi explained it to Razira. I love the Fediverse.

thurstylark ,

GUYS GUYS!! If we call their characters gay, we get sick bonus art!!!

GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY OMG SO GAY SO BEAUTIFULLY WONDERFULLY GAYYYYYYYYYY

VindictiveJudge ,
@VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world avatar

IT'S BEEN TEN MINUTES, WHERE IS THE ART?!?!?111?!?1

ahdok OP ,
@ahdok@ttrpg.network avatar

I do have a plan to do another piece of pride art this year, but for now, here's a token

https://ttrpg.network/pictrs/image/5405173f-2c89-43e0-9e6e-a7ad86a1c4a0.png

jballs , in Careful when writing your dragons
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Yeah, no human would ever have "balls" in their name. That'd be ridiculous!

mac ,
@mac@infosec.pub avatar

Just like no one would be called dick

rickyrigatoni ,
@rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee avatar

That would be silly to use as even a nickname.

mnemonicmonkeys ,

One could even say it's tricky

clay_pidgin ,

Hey look, kids, it's /u/rimjob-steve!

Honytawk ,

Shut up Jangle-Balls

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Lol I'll have to start telling people the J is for Jangle.

captainlezbian ,
Stovetop , in Caveat Emptor

I suppose this scenario is actually somewhat reassuring, because the guy who killed 12 people deserves whatever misfortune falls upon him. You wouldn't have to feel bad stealing his knowledge and memories, and could also go to the local guards to turn him in with the knowledge you've obtained.

Though good luck sleeping at night with the knowledge of what it felt like to murder 12 people with your own hands and see the life fade from their eyes.

Anticorp ,

That's your karmic payment.

sirblastalot ,

Fantasy Dexter. Actually loves murder, but instead just gets their kicks vicariously by stealing the memories of murderers

SolOrion ,

Kinda reminds me of a few Sci-Fi settings- Altered Carbon has people that enjoy murdering people, and since people can swap bodies freely that sort of thing is easily done. There's an explicit difference between 'sleeve death' and 'real death', even legally. Killing someone's sleeve- or body- is a crime, but it's not murder anymore. If you actually destroy the lil chip that actually contains the person, that's 'real death'. Man I love that show. S1, at least.

Alternatively, Cyberpunk with it's braindances could cater to an extremely similar audience.

dejected_warp_core ,

I'd go looking for another mindflayer offering "spotless mind" services and pay to have those memories removed. Assuming they can be trusted, of course. The hard part being that they're still mindflayers.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

The way he reacted makes me think that not just the memory that he killed people was taken, but the desire to as well. Otherwise you think he'd be more like "I don't remember doing this, but cool!"

gamermanh ,
@gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

We don't know the reason he killed 12 people.

Could be those are 12 nobles he robbed, or 12 previous sexual partners he murdered due to a fetish

Really any number of reasons to kill and keep 12 bodies

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Traditionally you bury or make the bodies not visible in some way unless you have some desire to see them.

gamermanh ,
@gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Could just be really shit at hiding them, like that guy who basically dissolved people and left their bones where they could be easily found

x4740N , (edited )
@x4740N@lemm.ee avatar

Turn the bones into bone meal, use it to grow stuff

Writing this just made farmers sound even scarier especially ones in rural areas far enough away from towns

Farmers could just feed the victims to hungry pigs and then turn the teeth and bones into bone meal

You'd never know if you where buying produce grown in part with human based bonemeal

PugJesus OP ,
@PugJesus@lemmy.world avatar

Farmers could just feed the victims to hungry pigs and then turn the teeth and bones into bone meal

Six pieces...

Mycatiskai ,

It is Oglaf, he is fucking the corpses.

driving_crooner ,
@driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br avatar

There's an interesting philosophical debate there. What good does imprison a guy who have no recollection of doing the crime, or the circumstances around them? Can be argued that the person who committed the crime and this guy finding the bodies are two different people who share the same body.

Protoknuckles ,

I think there was a book about this. Someone had a multiple lifetime sentence, so they kept cloning him to put him in jail.

PhlubbaDubba , in How a Draconic Bloodline is started

Honestly, would be a way funnier character for a sorc.

Mom was a bard, now you're going from ancient dragon to ancient dragon demanding paternity tests for back child support.

"WHO DARES AWAKEN THELDORAK THE DOOM IN EMBERS‽‽‽"

"Did you meet Rhonda about 20 years ago?"

"Oh shit you know Rhonda‽....oh.....oh damn it."

BaroqueInMind ,

First time I've seen an interrobang used correctly here. 10/10 would bang.

Inktvip , in "Do you know how many spells are just recycled incantations?"

I don't know what's going wrong. That spell works perfectly fine on my summoning circle.

noodohs ,

As a QA myself, this is what dealing with developers (and I this case, wizards) is like. Way too much trust in their code.

ilinamorato ,

I'm a dev, and once when I pulled something like that, QA told me, "oh cool, so we're shipping your machine to the customer then?"

smeg ,

and that's why they invented Docker 👈😬👈

Sotuanduso ,
@Sotuanduso@lemm.ee avatar

And that's why they invented wands.

nxdefiant ,

Senior QA in the wizard world would actually be a respected title. Can't make senior if you're dead, and you can be alive if you're bad at it.

Bytemeister ,

Have you tried closing and re-opening your spell book?

What's the uptime on your portal?

Apple-wood makes really good wands for illusions.

Oh, the staff? Built it myself. Hexacore silicon based crystal lattice CPU (Casting Power Unit), 4 billion RAM (Refined Arcane Modules) with an upgraded SSD (Swift Spell Deck) that can hold 2 trillion sigils. Yeah, of course it has RGB aura effects.

PotatoesFall , in How a Draconic Bloodline is started

the authors barely disguised fetish

TacticsConsort ,
@TacticsConsort@yiffit.net avatar

Disguised??? She's the biggest icon in the community for it lol (and a legitimately great content creator)

Zehzin ,
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

Is there a way I can ask who and what you're talking about without coming off like

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/60db7555-3043-47f3-87b2-03875d29d6fe.png

iiGxC ,
TacticsConsort ,
@TacticsConsort@yiffit.net avatar

TieflingMelissa! She's a pretty significant community figure on Twitter and Twitch, great memes, nice discord server.

She's very down bad for dragons (same), but honestly she's actually pretty wholesome; her server doesn't allow explicit NSFW and she spends a lot of time helping new players learn the rules of the game.

Rai ,

What, don’t we all have a $1k USD bad dragon collection?

SkyezOpen ,

Isn't that like.... 3 dicks?

Rai ,

They’re only like 100USD each!

SkyezOpen ,

That's genuinely surprising considering the detail and... Size.

Rai ,

Okay maybe an average of 100USD per toy… yeah probably more than 1k actually you’re right oh god

Rai ,

Rereading my other comment, it makes absolutely zero sense now they I’m sober hahaha.

Yeah, they range from maybe 80USD to 200USD. My least expensive was about 60, my favorite was 85, and my most expensive was 140 or so! None of mine are gigantic though, mostly medium.

Neat stuff, though! When I was young and learned they existed, I was like “eww that’s crazy hahaha who would even” then one day I was like “uhhhh okay maybe though?”

All downhill from there.

Mango ,

All downstairs from there.

Zehzin ,
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

Hey whatever floats your satyr

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