Programmer Humor

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Timely_Jellyfish_2077 OP , in Fuck this. I am creating a new language. Some guy in 2006.

For those who don't know, Graydon Hoare created rust language after seeing memory bug on out of order elevator.

embed_me ,
@embed_me@programming.dev avatar

How does one see a memory bug on an out of order elevator

ignotum ,

He knew something was wrong with it's memory when the elevator didn't remember him

Limeey , in Typescript

If compiled languages bother you, then you’re gonna love assembly.

Xabis ,

Asm is compiled too.

Gotta bust out the hex editor.

frezik ,

An assembler doesn't have any of the interesting parts of a compiler.

Anyway, the problem with Typescript is that it tends to obscure what's going on one layer below it in ways that don't happen in traditional compiled languages. We've had decades of development on tools that can work together with traditional compilers. Javascript has not, and there are frequent problems getting different tools at different layers of abstraction to march the same direction.

jabjoe , in Stop using floats
@jabjoe@feddit.uk avatar

As a programmer who grew up without a FPU (Archimedes/Acorn), I have never liked float. But I thought this war had been lost a long time ago. Floats are everywhere. I've not done graphics for a bit, but I never saw a graphics card that took any form of fixed point. All geometry you load in is in floats. The shaders all work in floats.

Briefly ARM MCU work was non-float, but loads of those have float support now.

I mean you can tell good low level programmers because of how they feel about floats. But the battle does seam lost. There is lots of bit of technology that has taken turns I don't like. Sometimes the market/bazaar has spoken and it's wrong, but you still have to grudgingly go with it or everything is too difficult.

GroteStreet ,

all work in floats

We even have float16 / float8 now for low-accuracy hi-throughput work.

frezik ,

Even float4. You get +/- 0, 0.5, 1, 1.5, 2, 3, Inf, and two values for NaN.

Come to think of it, the idea of -NaN tickles me a bit. "It's not a number, but it's a negative not a number".

Blackmist , in Stop using floats

I know this is in jest, but if 0.1+0.2!=0.3 hasn't caught you out at least once, then you haven't even done any programming.

CanadaPlus ,

That should really be written as the gamma function, because factorial is only defined for members of Z. /s

labsin ,

IMO they should just remove the equality operator on floats.

RootBeerGuy , in When data training goes wrong
@RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar
moistclump ,

You sly monologue! You had me dogging!

pineapplelover , in When data training goes wrong

Sound recognition? Is this an always on thing in iphones. I hope it doesn't get sent back to servers or something

ji17br ,

It’s all done on-device

vox ,
@vox@sopuli.xyz avatar

(also I'm fvcking tired of privacy extremists on here. if something is proprietary it doesn't mean that it uploads literally everything to the server, on-device processing is still a thing y'know)

DreadPotato ,
@DreadPotato@sopuli.xyz avatar

on-device processing is still a thing

Unfortunately even if this is initially processed locally, there's a significant risk that results and/or samples are still sent back. manufacturers have shown on multiple occasions that the allure of data they can leverage is too much to resist.

pineapplelover ,

Somebody mentioned their Google Takeout (export of Google data) contained audio of them using the Google assistant. So Apple could technically do the same thing.

I'm not a privacy extremist, I just want to understand how technology works and how you should be using things in order to be safe online.

vox ,
@vox@sopuli.xyz avatar

that only happens if you explicitly agree to uploading voice clips

DannyBoy , in C++ Moment

It's been a minute since I used C/Cpp but if you compile with debugging symbols and using gdb give you info like in Java? At least the location of the crash.

Miaou ,

And then you realise the program doesn't crash when compiling with debug symbols 😢

Tja , in C++ Moment

Someone needs to be introduced to gdb...

parens ,

have fun without those debug symbols

Tja ,

Why wouldn't I have debug symbols in the software I'm developing?

parens ,

And what happens when you release it?

Tja ,

If you want the same traces as Java and python in the meme, you leave them, if you don't you strip them. Or you ship them separately. You decide, like a big boy.

someguy3 , in Junior dev VS FAANMG dev

I thought we decided FAANGM was better as FAGMAN.

MHanak ,

"Pepsiman" started playing in my head, but instead of pepsiman it was f****tman

sheepishly ,

It was the Batman theme for me. Na nanana na na... fagmaaaaannnn

Kissaki , in MySQL moment

Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes

Downcount ,

Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.

owen ,

Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!

brisk ,
tromars , in Yup sums up all my project

Hey, not fair. It’s one user, ok?
I mean, that’s me, but still

Kissaki ,

Webcrawlers count as users too, right?

redcalcium , in Yup sums up all my project

Autoscaling for personal projects is just a tool to turn random DDOS into personal bankruptcy.

Blue_Morpho ,

I don't understand how anyone uses a paid API for a personal project. I looked hard into MS, Google and Amazon a few years ago for a project and couldn't find anywhere where you could hard block services to never ever go above the free tier.

Considering that I'll build a project and forget about it for years, putting in my credit card into a cloud service was a guaranteed gigantic bill sometime in the future when things went wrong. (Over your life, something is guaranteed to go wrong.)

whereisk ,

Have you heard of virtual debit cards? You can't charge what's not there.

Also, at least AWS will in fact send you an email when you approach the end of free tour usage.

Having said all that, most devs can host the few hundred visits they might get over a month with a $200 home server and a free CloudFlare cache if they know what they're doing.

Blue_Morpho ,

Have you heard of virtual debit cards?

I tried one and it didn't work. Reading about it said they block those.

I don't need an email. I need it to stop instantly. In the time it takes me to notice an email, I could have hundreds of dollars in charges.

Molten_Moron , in Uh...oh...

And 8 in 10 Americans think HTML is a programming language.

jaybone ,

And 5 in 10 Americans think you can parse it with regular expressions.

KairuByte ,
@KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

You can parse anything with regex, if you’re willing to give up your soul for it.

anton ,

Show me the regex for the language L = {a^n b^n | n in N}

OutlierBlue ,

They're wrong too, although less-so.

Also, what about that last American?

PM_Your_Nudes_Please , in Hey, I'm new to GitHub!

The next generation of script kiddies is going to be iPad babies. It’ll be interesting to see, since the majority can’t use anything in tech unless it’s an app.

We built computer labs in schools, to teach kids how to use computers. Then we decided computers are ubiquitous enough that we didn’t need computer labs anymore. And now we have an entire generation that doesn’t know how to use computers, because they use their phones and tablets for everything instead.

jaybone ,

I wonder who is going to write the apps in the future.

Vast_Emptiness ,

Chatgpt, of course..

sunbeam60 ,

Ugh. You’re probably right. Finally all those idiots who come up to me going “I’ve got a great idea for an app” will actually be able to release their great idea :)

I used to be able to say “ideas are easy, work is hard”. Now we won’t be.

technom ,

I'm yet to hear anyone saying that chatGPT can navigate the complex series of design decisions needed to create a cohesive app (unless of course, it was trained on something exactly the same). Many people report spending an inordinate amount of time rectifying the mistakes these LLMs make. It sounds like a glorified autofill (I haven't used them yet). I shudder to think about the future of the software ecosystem if an entire generation is trained to rely entirely on them to create code.

dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

I saw a tweet that said something like "It's amazing that somehow we were only able to produce a single generation that knows how to properly use computers" and now it lives rent-free in my head.

htrayl ,

Meh, maybe 10% of a single generation at most know how to use computers. Technically savvy millenials vastly overestimate how technically savvy other millenials are.

dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

Even if it's just 10% of millennials, that still feels higher than both the older and younger generations. I'm in my 30s and a lot of people I went to school with can at least do basic things on the computer, since we had computer classes in primary (elementary) school and high school.

ManosTheHandsOfFate ,
@ManosTheHandsOfFate@lemmy.world avatar

I think there was a golden 20 year era for learning basic computing. If you were a kid somewhere between 1985 and 2005 you had to figure out some slightly more technical things to use a computer. I'm late Gen X and so was exposed early on to the Commodore 64 and MS-DOS, but kids working with Windows 3, 95 and 98 would have developed similar skills.

No_Eponym ,
@No_Eponym@lemmy.ca avatar

The iMac was the herald of the end.

savvywolf , in Hey, I'm new to GitHub!
@savvywolf@pawb.social avatar

TBF, they could probably make the "releases" page more prominent rather than having it buried in all the "code" stuff.

Anamana ,

GitHub has bad UX for people who just wanna download and use the programs

r00ty ,
@r00ty@kbin.life avatar

I'd agree, but the caveat is that github is primarily about an interface for source control and collaboration between developers for projects. The release page is really just an also-ran in terms of importance.

Anamana ,

Imo they aren't even trying, because it's not that hard to make it better. Doesn't even have to be a compromise. Most people just need a visible download button for the programs, that's all.

Rodeo ,

There is, it's literally right there on the home page of the project. You can either copy a URL and download it by cloning the git repo, or you can download the whole project as a zip file. Then you just have to compile it!

GitHub is for developers, not end users.

BatmanAoD ,

That's not a download button for the program. But there is indeed a link to the release page right on the home page of the project, so you're still correct.

Scrollone ,

SourceForge had a better UX for those who just want to download software.

And SF is horrible, so this says a lot.

Malix ,
@Malix@sopuli.xyz avatar

not only the ux, some devs make it absurdly confusing to find a binary.

I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but there's this one niche app.

their github releases at one point were YEARS out of date, they only linked to the current version in seemingly random issue reports' comments. And the current versions were some daily build artefacts you could find in a navigation tree many clicks deep in some unrelated website. And you'd better be savvy enough to download a successfully built artefact too. And even then the downloaded .zip contained all kinds of fluff unnescessary for using the app.

The app worked fine, sure, but actually obtaining it was fairly tricky, tbh.

Cow2 ,

These build artefacts probably weren’t meant for end users, that’s why they contained the “unnecessary fluff”.

Malix ,
@Malix@sopuli.xyz avatar

absolutely, but they were in general (IIRC) suggesting them for the main downloads, but just not telling anyone outside the comments, which was the weird part

peter ,
@peter@feddit.uk avatar

That's not really what it's designed for though

Anamana ,

It doesn't have to be a compromise imo. Most people just need a visible download button on the front pages. Wouldn't hurt devs at all. I mean, even devs sometimes struggle with this lol.

BetterDev ,

It doesn't have to be a compromise

You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

Any change to appease you would be a compromise, you understand this, yes?

originalfrozenbanana ,

Excel has a bad UX for people who want to use it to make art

Anamana ,

Do most people who use Excel also make art with it? Because sometimes devs also just download exe files on GitHub :D

They don't just always copy code from there.

originalfrozenbanana ,

Do MOST people who use GitHub download .exes? In my experience the VAST majority of people are using it for source and version control, not external releases. The overwhelming majority. FOSS and OSS is a small portion of the overall GitHub user base compared to, say, enterprise companies.

Anamana ,

So you never downloaded a program on GitHub?

No one everever said you need to compromise its focus on developers. There is no compromise to be made. It's just a stupid button. Stop arguing lol.

corsicanguppy ,

you never downloaded a program on GitHub

Precompiled binaries?!? Not even once. It's a security risk akin to picking up gum on the sidewalk for a fun tasty treat.

Feathercrown ,

I've been using github for what, 10 years now? And I had no idea there even was a releases page.

the_artic_one ,

A lot of projects don't use it or forget to update it for multiple versions so you probably aren't missing much.

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