God cats have the best life. They wake up when they want. No annoying alarm clock to tell them they're late to a place they don't want to be. Performing work they don't want to do, for an organization they don't like. Just to come back where they started at the start of their day....too tired to enjoy the 3-4 hours before bedtime ready to do it all over again.
Nope. Cats just get to take 19 naps a day, be cute, and get free love and attention from the people providing this free lifestyle for them.
And then sometimes....just sometimes....they stare into the void. It could be a blank white wall, but they see something we don't. Something frightning. Something terrifying!!! Whatever it is, it cannot be percieved by our simple human brains, but they can see it. They can see it clearly. So they take off running like a bat out of hell, racing up the stairs and under your bed, only to enter the cat dimension! No greebles can get to them in there! But what about the humans??? Can the humans survive the greebles attacks??? There is no way to find out until it happens. If the humans were smart, they'd have ran under this bed too when the greebles approached. All we can do now is wait, and prey that the macebre of death and destruction is at a minimal this time. For as a cat, they have seen this before, and know how it ends! It ends when the chosen son of goul is reserected into the body of.....wait, is the human using the CAN OPENER!!! CHICKEN! CHICKEN! CHICKDN! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!!!!
You might already know this, but letting cats play with loose pieces of rope is kind of dangerous. My friend had a really expensive cat operation because the lil guy ate the entire rope and it screwed up his intestines.
My cat loves string, more than any other play thing. But I had to stop it when I found him with a, um... piece hanging out his butt. (And he actually chewed that one off at both ends, from a "fishing rod" toy.) Careful out there, friends of cats.
The whole "purebred" thing always seems weird to me, "purebred" royal families aren't pretty but full of genetic defects, why should it be an better with cats or dogs.
Hmm two possible reasons come to mind. First, purebred in terms of cats and dogs not necessarily meaning genetic defects. Second, having a defined breed gives the judges something to rate against.
I once was looking to get a cat and found the goofiest looking idiot on Craigslist. Turns out, it was a purebred Exotic Shorthair that was surrendered to a shelter because it didn't look fucked-up enough (it could still kind of breathe through its nose). New owners wanted to recoup costs because they adopted another cat that was "more playful" and the exotic was getting eye-goop on their white carpets. A wonderful standard for purebreeds!
I changed his name from "Luigi" to "Waluigi", and he was best best buddy for many many years.
I was at cat lounge/rescue/adoption place in my area recently (not to adopt, just to pet the cats) and one of the cats, a maybe ~7mo female tabby with a slightly fucked up ear named Maggie, after spending most of the time I was there hiding in a corner, decided she liked me, came up to me, sat down on my lap, and refused to budge. One of the staff members came up to say "hey man you're at your time limit, but I can see you're in a situation here so just... whenever is chill"
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