So many of my cringe moments growing up were when I responded inappropriately to social situations and got laughed at. I felt so alone growing up.

The 60s and 70s (for me) had no awareness of my problems. Only now am I discovering that I did what I could, but I wasn't equipped to deal with people well.

It's too late for me, but I'm glad kids today have more resources, although the problems are just as hard to navigate.

God bless you all.

MehBlah ,

It isn't too late. I was born in the early 70's and my parents had resources but refused to get me help due to the shame it would bring them. I didn't start to understand who I was until I was in my forties. In the last decade I've made huge leaps in understanding why I'm the way I am and what I can do to compensate for it. Will I every be as natural in social situations as I could have been? No. I can however keep trying.

Halasham ,
@Halasham@dormi.zone avatar

Seeing posts like this is always a bit frustrating. Autism wasn't discovered in the 80s or later, descriptions of it predate WWII. Just a matter of people not caring and some governments being actively hostile... both to the research itself and the people.

Pronell ,

It's worth pointing out that the act of remembering a moment overwrites the memory with your current memory of that memory.

In essence, by cringing at your own behavior, you place a negative and self-abusive frame upon it.

Try to start practicing self-forgiveness. Laugh at yourself. Smile at your own naive behavior.

It does work, but it takes time, and it's never too late to start forgiving yourself.

Melatonin OP ,

Thank you. Unfortunately, I have a lot of real blame to take over my prior behavior. I used a lot of aggression to get out of my cage. But much better now, surrounded by love, but there are those who will never forgive my past.

It's hard to forgive yourself when there are some who confront you every time you see them, although you've told the truth and apologized, demanding a new and better repentance.

I feel very exposed writing that. Sorry to overshare.

Pronell ,

No, I get what you mean. You should at least forgive yourself because you are a better person now.

That others think you still deserve to be punished is enough. You don't need to add your pain to the mix, but it is easy to do that.

Frozengyro ,

Apologizing to them is also enough to forgive yourself. Regardless if they won't accept the apology, you've grown enough to recognize past mistakes, and made reasonable attempts to amend them, there's no need to dwell on it any longer. It's okay to try and make the past right, and move forward with what You've learned and continue to grow as a person.

PlasticExistence ,

That's not oversharing. That's just adding detail.

It's okay to have made mistakes, and it's definitely okay for not being able to be perfect. No human is or can be. What's important is that you've chosen to be better going forward.

That advice about self forgiveness the other user gave you was excellent. I still need to work on that more, but I know from experience that it's an important thing to practice.

Triasha ,

That's hard. Real hard. I can't say what atonement would look like, that's maybe therapist territory, but I can say that it's OK to protect yourself. You can't change the past and undo the hurt you did. I don't see anything wrong with avoiding people you have hurt after you apologize.

BackOnMyBS Mod ,
@BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world avatar

While your body may not still be developing, you're not done growing mentally/spiritually yet! Keep on keeping on, fellow audultie ✊

I got diagnosed just over a year ago in my 40s. I was diagnosed as a child, but they didnt tell me. I only realized it once I reviewed my childhood with my autism therapist. Anyway, this meme hits hard every time I have one of those revelations:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/13162205-2985-46cd-9a4c-52329916ff0a.png

GrayBackgroundMusic ,

Oooh my kid is gonna love that meme. He keeps telling me I'm autistic (he's probably right)

Kojichan ,
@Kojichan@lemmy.world avatar

Meme Stolen! Yoink!

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