You politely and in private ask her out for a date. If she says yes, she's into you, if not, she isn't. The answer might be something like "I'd really want to but I don't have time bla bla", that's always a "no". If there isn't a clear "yes, let's do it at this time" it's always a no.
Just don't bother with the signals, this makes it very simple. Of course only simple conceptually, you'll still need the courage to ask someone out and with like a 95% chance get rejected, but it truly is as simple as that.
I can see this working with strangers, and I would have no problem getting rejected by one. It gets more complicated with people I have to maintain a relationship with because people may be uncomfortable.
99% of people you know will have absolutely no problems with it. The problems are only in your head. Just simply add a "if not, that's absolutely no problem :)". And be graceful when rejected. That's why I added "in private", no one of the friend group has to know, it will allow them to save face.
This dilemma is why flirting is so complicated. Basically two people are trying to slowly build confidence that they like each other, while maintaining total deniability about it. I know this sounds challenging, but it's much harder in practice.
For this reason, Azzu's suggestions are absolutely correct.
Expanding on "be graceful when rejected" -- make sure you are prepared for a "no" answer. One small help here is an alternative activity planned for yourself, so that you have something to look forward to either way.
If there isn’t a clear “yes, let’s do it at this time” it’s always a no.
This is also worth understanding in case someone asks you out. If they invite you to some undesirable activity (e.g. a sport you are not interested in) with just the two of you, then declining will be taken as a more general lack of romantic interest. (Disclaimer: asking you to an activity alone is not 100% sign of romantic interest).
This will often be followed by a significant change in behavior towards you (e.g. less joking / flirting). This is not them being angry or trying to get back at you. They are trying to respect your lack of romantic interest, and possibly handling their own emotions of rejection, disappointment, and such. If you do lack romantic interest, this is mostly unavoidable; people will always be sad when the person they like doesn't like them back.
If you do have romantic interest, then try to suggest alternative activities and be extremely blunt that you do want to date them. Make sure you have a concrete day you will do something together, even if you don't figure out exactly what it is. If you can't even settle on a day, set a date on when you'll talk next about a date.
My cable pouch (need a charger for a 20 year old iPod? I got you fam. HDMI? No worries. USB micro B? All good. For some reason I hate being caught out without the right cable).
My 60w UGREEN Gan USB A/USB C charger.
At the moment, the book I'm reading (Relativity Visualized).
My journal. I don't write in it every day but sporadically.
My medication.
Battery bank.
Laptop (ThinkPad T480).
Deodorant.
Hair wax.
Toothbrush.
A pen.
My home and work keys with tag trackers on each and a multi tool on my home keys.
Check out Ventoy, it's a utility for booting any disk image fron USB storage and might help reduce the number of drives you need to carry. Also, it supports data persistence if you want a portable live OS. =D
I'm not normal, but I don't think I have autism. I might be prejudiced based on what I think autism looks like and there could be many people who don't fit this description. I find people pleasers who go out of their way to try to smooth over every little issue to be very challenging to deal with. They create pressure to reassure them under the threat of emotional self harm in blaming themselves.
A lot of autistic people tend to stand out in ways that aren't always easy to describe, but they'll often have problems like hair that's too long or not maintained. A "neckbeard" that's never trimmed or trimmed short using a guide. They also wear dirty or damaged clothes.
I had a white autistic employee who got bullied for being a virgin and eventually got fired for attendance after calling out repeatedly because of it. Then he went on a rant and started blatantly calling the other employees the n-word without actually saying it. It created a bad association.
Having bridged both worlds, here's how they are viewed as described by a few people that stuck with me all these years.
The first one I "go to thought" was more than one person is "awkward." Some even describing them "out of step, socially." Imagine a clock that is running fast or slow, but you have mentally compensated because generally, you can adapt depending on other clues. But they are always off, and you might have to warn others ahead of time.
Another comment was how autistic personalities are in that "uncanny valley of behavior" where people notice something is off, and it can be frightening but they are not sure why. Since autism is a spectrum of behaviors, which approach depends subjectively on the viewer. Kids, for example, can target autistic kids, and because they are developing socially, will group in "us" and "not us." Autistic kids are "not us," and the target of bullying. A lot of teachers know autistic kids just by how they are treated by others. "You're too weird," was something a lot of kids might say with developing language skills. The may not know WHY they hate a certain kid, but know that they DO. And "something is wrong."
Personally, I see autism as some kind of evolutionary response to a civilization that is growing faster that humans can compensate. In order to get actual insight, one has to be "out of step," lest they just end up trapped in the normal static of everyday compulsion. Like any other evolutionary advance, nature is "trying out" various things. Most will lead to dead ends. A few will adapt in other ways, and some will flourish in a new niche with new types of diversity. I have no proof of this, but I think it's more than "well, we define autism differently now." Yes, there were always people who were "touched by fae" or whatever convention was explained back in the day, but something has really changed. I personally think this and gender fluidity is a positive sign of things to come.
I am friends with an autistic person, and all I see is a slightly awkward guy. Which is totally fine to me because I am super awkward myself so that probably has little to do with his autism. We like to talk about our shared interests. He is more like me than different, even though I am ‘NT’.
Autistic people don’t get used to forced sensory sensitivities; they DISSOCIATE. Autistic people don’t “habituate”. Research shows our pain receptors light up when we’re exposed to our sensory sensitivities.
So much this. Prior to doing trauma work, a therapist ran a dissociation scale on me, and my score was quite high...like dissociative disorder high. I then worked with them to reconnect with reality and overwhelmed myself into a psychosomatic mess. I almost went to the hospital a few times until the autism therapist stepped in and told me what I needed to do to get it together. That was serious. I thought I was dying.
Autism
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