the worst is the unexpected meeting a couple hours later because then you also get the pre meeting productivity drop as well (from the mental anguish of having to go to that meeting an hour later)
One theory about nightmares is that they serve as exposure therapy for stressors. If your nightmares are too extreme, maybe you could set aside during the day to enter a calmer environment and try to review them without getting overwhelmed. It might desensitize you a little bit and make them less severe.
I haven't had severe nightmares since I was a preteen, but when I did, they tended to be pretty stressful (being kidnapped, being abandoned, my friends commiting suicide in front of me, etc). I'm not sure exactly why they stopped, but I eventually 'burnt out', and I just stopped really caring about them.
Can't say I turned out great, but I can say I don't have nightmares anymore.
I still feel like a bit of an imposter when seeking help, as I am very high functioning, and can pass as quite intelligent in most settings, and working at a job where I often encounter low functioning and even non verbal poung people, its hard to feel like I deserve to ask for help in the first place.
I feel this. I was also diagnosed as an adult and I also pass well. The first time telling my friends about my then-new diagnosis was met with the reaction "what, no you're not!" and I'm still mentally affected by that conversation. Dealing with guilt and imposter syndrome type feelings is tough. I don't really have any advice but I know how you feel, at least.
If you ever feel like an imposter just walk into a busy public bathroom like at Walmart or a big gas station. Do your business. Wash your hands, and let the commotion, lack of personal space, and horrible air dryer noise shatter your soul and know that you're autistic.
I had the opposite reaction from people. Like I still feel like I'm pretty highly functioning, or thought I was, but once I found out my friends and family were like 'well yeah, you were the only one who didn't know.' So I said fuck it and mask less now cause apparently it wasn't working in the first place.
My sister was diagnosed with autism before transitioning but she hasn't "seemed autistic" since transitioning. I don't know if it was a misdiagnosis of gender dysphoria or if it's something that she really has. She is very fixated on trying to force other autistic people into passing so it makes sense that she would learn to hide it.
I've honestly never felt this. Any time someone is willing to help me I'm more than happy. But at the same time I try to pay it forward and help them, or at least someone else.
This was ingrained into me. When I needed some form of help but was interpreted as not needing it for whatever reason I'd get a "do you know what x person went through for you??" Style lecture, especially if I had the audacity to still be experiencing a problem after
I do, yes. Not with everything, but particularly around things like emotional support, I've always evaded. It used to bring on a flood of very overwhelming emotion that I suppose I wasn't in touch with until someone pointed out to me: "this is bad, are you sure you're okay?"
Thanks for your shared experience and tips :)
I followed a few of them, like Introspektion everytime I realized I feel stressed or rushed or pushed to anything.
It worked out quiet well.
I also changed my working habit to evening / night time when it was possible due appointments. This way I created timeslots during the morning and afternoon to have enough energy to meet up friends or getting shit done Iam pushing way to long around. When I saw friends as explained them about my autism behaviours and what my plans are right now to reduce overload. They all react with a lot of understanding and asked theirself if they could do change anything on their behaviour to support me.
All this gave me the setting to accept me more and helped me to do the work in the evening with a more or less free head, cause I had everything I planned for the day done already
Working during night was sth I ever loved but gave up by time cause of external demands and so it became standard routine. For me, the biggest advantage of working late is, there a mostly no interruptions of Mails, calls, chats or workmates. So i can completly focus on my tasks, what makes me more aware of what i am actually doing or needing. Plus i was full of ressource cause I could follow myself during the day, like I normally do afterwork. So whoever can manage to shift worktimes and struggling with those things, should give it a try IMO.
As we have a birthday in our shared flat on saturday, i felt yesterday like needing time for myself to leave the week behind, so yesterday evening I took me time, explained to my girlfriend, that Iam feeling stressed of the week even as it all went out quiet well and to save energy for the birthday party and try to avoid a shutdown on sunday or monday, which was alright as always. She gave me the space i need since day one. Now after 4 years we manage to build a save zone where we can really talk everything and sharing even the deepest thoughts and moments with each other.
All together I had a great week which I wanted to share :)
We are finite beings. Everyone, neurodivergent and neurotypical, uses tool and assistance to make life a bit easier. Life is hard enough as it is. If help available to you is helpful, use it.
I 💯% need my alone time to recharge, or I start falling apart. Things that can happen if I'm don't get quiet alone time:
irritability
careless injuries, including broken bones
lack of engagement in anything enjoyable
inability to think
not completing any responsibilities (eg bills, work, etc.)
not completing activities of daily living
going mute
drinking excessively
verbally snapping at someone or insulting them
crying
seeing everything and everyone as a threat
complete shutdown or even meltdown
My most reliable solution in social situations has been going to the bathroom. There must be soooo many people that think I constantly have diarrhea because I go to the bathroom that often, sometimes for up to 30 mins a session. I love how the bathroom fan's noise drowns out everything else. If I can still hear people outside, then the bathroom break doesn't work, so I might go outside or to my car.
It's not that people are annoying or I don't like them. I just need solitary silence to process the ideas on my waitlist or allow my mind to focus on what it wants without interruption to recharge. It's almost like sleep. If I don't get it, I fall apart.
I've accepted that I'm never going to be normal, and I've stopped trying. Instead, I find people and places where I can be my abnormal self freely because I have every right to exist how I want as long as I'm not hurting others. Those people that like to throw shame around, whether explicit by saying it or implicit through gestures, can dump it on someone else. Leave me out of that.
Normal people maintain stability. We shake things up. Play your part. Share minute details. Create art. Feel the vibration of life. You be you, booboo ❤️
I have those periods. I think of them as autistic shutdowns. For me, they happen when I've been overwhelmed by too much stress, interruptions, demands, or sensory overload.
I went with the Sony WH-CH720N only because it was 56% off on Amazon. So far it's pretty decent besides the shit Sony does by gatekeeping things behind a login in order for noise cancelling. And the noise canceling isn't the best but its good enough for me. Very long battery life and good audio at least for me.
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