I'm by no means an expert, but something I lean on a lot is two key assumptions:
People tend to talk about the things they want to talk about
They expect everyone to be aware of 1. and to converse accordingly.
What this means is that if you set a topic of conversation, you are hinting that you want to delve deeper into that topic. This can be hard if you're ND because sometimes you just think our loud surface level thoughts that you don't actually think would make a good topic of conversation. It also means that if you want to talk about something, often the best way to start that is by asking a question to the other person where your answer to that question is the thing you want to talk about. People often reflect a question back at the asker after answering it. So for example, if I want to talk about a movie I watched recently, I might say "did you see any good movies lately?"
I mean, you can absolutely feel freakin' nothing for you "community" and still be a member. Look at log cabin republicans for example. Or uncle toms...just saying. All things aside, I believe that a lot of people's stances on things are a less intricate glance at someone's inner world. So your sister might not feel that compassionate about her own being. But I also think, and this is a personal opinion, that people nowadays are touting opinions/emotions like they're facts. That people are actually being a bit too overly emotional, and not finding the balance between the two. This coming from an emotional freakin' maelstrom. It's all about balance. So don't rag on your sister for feeling the way she does. If you've got issues, talk to her about them. Try to do it in a mindful way so you don't bulldoze her. If she doesn't want to talk about it - drop it. You know your sister, reach out in the way that's best for her and go through that. Or leave it alone, because people are allowed to feel any which way they want as long as they're not smashing the snikes bikes out of others. S'all.
The term narcissist is somewhat overused, though there are also a lot of them these days. To echo a bit of what others said, thinking average high schoolers are dumb is not a sign of narcissism. Average high schoolers are notoriously foolish. Even if you feel like it's more than that and it's a serious problem, that alone does not make a narcissist.
Actual narcissists are unstable. They need the adoration of others to feel good about themselves. They're prone to fits of rage when anything damages their ego, and they can take just about anything as criticism then decide to fly off the handle.
If that is you, get help from a professional who specializes in it. If anyone reading this knows a person like that, read up and find a way to save yourself.
Well, I actually have a fluctuating ego. Sometimes I do have extreme reactions to opinions, but they are not rage and are usually internalized. Thanks for the explanation, which pulls me further into the rabbit hole of psychology (which I still don't understand).
I don't think you've got a good grasp on what narcissism is. There's the official diagnosis and the layperson definition and both require externalization. You can't just think you're better, you'd feel in your soul that you were better and would use and abuse those around you. Thinking people are worthless is another indicator that you aren't. If you were one, you'd see the value in those idiots because of how easy they are to exploit.
You're probably right. This may just be social isolation. The sign of narcissism might be, that I only make friends with people, whose help I could rely on.
I'm not sure this is actually narcissism. I felt very similar throughout my teens, but it is something I grew out of in my early/mid 20s. I think there are a few reasons for this. Often, people just grow out of it, through brain development or just spending more time around other people. Empathy can also be intentionally strengthened like a muscle.
I studied psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, and logic to understand the general human mind. When you study a lot of things, you learn how little you know. You also get to see how much better other people are at certain things. I no longer assume I'm smarter than anyone else even if it's obvious in one particular subject or several subjects, because they are probably smarter than me in other ways.
I also saw a therapist and spent more time around other people. I made an effort to understand others' points of view, asking questions if needed, and really tried to imagine their life experiences and how they could come to feel or believe certain things. This will be an exercise at first but it eventually comes naturally for the most part.
I am not on the spectrum (I follow the community because I have 2 kids on the spectrum). I did, however, go to high school and also thought I was smarter than everyone else. I was probably smarter than some people. But as I've grown up, my perspective has shifted: (1) smarts are genetic, like being pretty, and both are like winning the genetic lottery. In contrast, people who work hard have earned it. (2) Being academically gifted does not always translate into success later in life. EQ, hard work and luck also play into it. Anywho, I thought I would pass that along because I'm not so sure you are a narcissist, but maybe just haven't had as much experience. Best of luck to you!
To add to this, here is a rough explanation of why "average" people still exist.
If you take every job in the world, and group them up, you're gonna get significantly more maintenance type jobs, time-gated jobs, tetris type jobs, and basically every job that requires about 2 brain cells to perform perfectly, than any job that actually requires critical thinking.
So we can either take you, the smartest meat popsicle man on the planet, and make you stand there and hold a stop sign in the middle of traffic in 100F/38C weather for 10 hours straight six days a week,
OR
we can give that job to somebody else and have you design highway interchanges.
That might be true, as I haven't manipulated a lot of people (I just do it if I feel in danger). I don't fake being victimized to manipulate people, I actually feel like a victim in multiple situations.
Emotional intelligence has always been a sort of hidden magnet in my life that's pulled me towards people who had the emotional capacity to treat people like people instead of treating people based off any first impressions or preconceived labels.
The people who I remember and hold closest in my memories have been people who understood that I'm my own unique person, with my own experiences that shaped me, with my own way of solving problems, and my own way of learning from those experiences. They were able to assist and guide me in a more human and understandable way. It felt more positive and encouraging. I learned so much more from people with a stronger sense of emotional intelligence in comparison to people who lack emotional intelligence.
Unfortunately, with what I believe to be a global mental health crisis brought on by the arrival of a global pandemic, it's been obvious to me that there has been a critical lack of education in any form of emotional intelligence. Thinking back on my own education, there was more a focus on employable math and science skills, language with a heavy historical perspective, history with a heavily propagandized perspective and obedience within a narrow and confined learning structure. The only class that taught me any sort of life skills was the lowest level math class I had the option to take. The math class only "stupid" kids took.
After the initial uncertainty wore off and reality set in with the global pandemic, those who lacked the emotional intelligence to look within began to lash out at everyone around them. To them, the world turned against them as they were expected to be empathetic towards other people. It's been difficult to process and deal with such a critical lack of emotional intelligence on such a large scale.
Those who are filled with hate for themselves and the world around them have far more energy than those with a better sense of their own emotional intelligence. Those who are filled with hate are burning out everyone else around them.
I think now more than ever, there needs to be more emotional intelligence education for both young and old. It will be very difficult to help ourselves move forward if we aren't being empathic towards each other and the world around us.
I'm aware what I've said isn't very specific to autism but it's a topic that was made much more clearer to me after figuring out I have autism and understanding how it's affected my life.
This reminded me of when I was hiking in Peru once and needed to pee badly. We stopped after a while, and I went to relieve myself behind some rocks. Five minutes later, much to my despair, the guide explained that the rock formation was sacred to the Incas.
Actually the right side graph needs a correction from my point of view. The decline in productivity doesn't happen sharply when the meeting starts. For me the decline starts between 15 to 30 minutes before the meeting slowly, as I can hardly concentrate concerned that I might miss the start. If I'm ever in hyper concentration mode, most likely I'll miss the start of the meeting.
Ah indeed, you are right, somehow I missed the unexpected part. I guess because this applies to just about any meeting to me, not only the unexpected ones so I just applied it generally x)
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