It isn’t. If you’ve ever been raped in your sleep, by someone, then you’d understand. My husband knew that his half brother’s dad raped me in my sleep when visiting our apartment years ago. I thought my son was my husband’s son. My husband later told me what happened to me that night.
I went to sleep, and my husband let that person into our apartment to hang out. At some point, the guy found his way to our bedroom where I was already asleep, because I had to go to work the next morning. Apparently, my sort of situation isn’t that rare.
One person equating their personal experience to everyone. Clearly not realising that within the next 24 hrs the guys will get back, see the results and dump at least 1/5th of their unfaithful partners.
Yep. Obscenities and anger. That is usually the type of responses I receive when trying to address this issue. It is usually male commenters that want me to shut up, and are trying to make me remove my comment. I hope your girlfriend or wife doesn’t have this same experience involving being violated in her sleep. Perhaps with someone like you, as a partner, she will just be forced to keep it to herself, even if you witnessed the assault occur. Oh well. Not my problem, I guess. I’m just another Lemmy reader who doesn’t want to see that happen to another woman. Don’t mind me.
How heavy of a sleeper do you have to be to not get awaken by rape? Wtf
Also, I wouldn't ever recommend those online ancestry sites. Even they claim that the stuff is for entertainment only. Go to an actual geneticist doctor to get tested.
The guy who did it used to brag that he could put his dog to sleep by holding down its jugular, usually in a headlock, until it passed out. He use to brag about this, in an addition to all of the Krav Maga he knew. I don’t exactly know what happened to me. All I know is, I was asleep. I’m grateful for my son. I love my son very much. It’s just often awkward to explain to people who weren’t there when that happened. I usually just keep it to myself. My husband use to make comments about it all the time. In fact, when my son was born, he kept complaining that NJ (the guy’s initials for anonymity here), should be there at the hospital. He hadn’t explained what happened to me, at that point, so I was really confused. Why would I want my brother in law’s dad there, right?
Anyway, I usually give up on explaining it to other people, because it’s usually met with a lot of angry disbelief. I usually tell people if they don’t believe me, they can just go ask my husband. Unfortunately, all of aftermath of my son’s birth led to us separating multiple times. I want court ordered dna tests, but I have no idea where NJ is, and I have been told that NJ is not even the name that is on that guy’s actual birth certificate. When my son eventually takes a test like ancestry.com’s dna test, it will link his paternal relatives to him. Through that, everyone will eventually realize it was NJ that made him, even if NJ is probably not in the ancestry.com system with his own dna sample.
Along with those sites not being accurate, they have given the dna up to law enforcement. So it's also an invasion of your entire family's privacy once you submit those tests. Anyways, if you go to an actual doctor, you just need to compare your husband's and your child's blood, you don't need NJ'S blood.
No, my husband isn’t their dad. He and I already established that. I don’t think you understand what I am trying to explain. Please read my original comment.
I can't fathom how a husband can know his wife has been raped but do nothing and say nothing about it. Did he sit and watch? How does he know it happened if not? Where was he when this happened? How did he justify not telling you? Why would he not report this crime? How has this rapist not been held accountable, by your husband at least? If I knew with certainty someone raped my wife the police would be involved immediately. If there were some details that meant we couldn't get the authorities involved, I'd mete out some violent justice myself assuming the rapist isn't going to report me since he doesnt want the authorities involved either.
The guy who did it was related to the chief of police, who is now the mayor of the city in which my husband and I resided. I also learned that the man who raped me is related to me. My mother is trying to cover it all up now, and wants me to shut up about it. I know it doesn’t seem reasonable, but dna testing would really support what I’m saying.
Guess what, one can dress slutty for their own benefit. It doesn't have to be in service of anyone or anything other than satisfying the vibe of the moment. Maybe it's something they have always wanted to try without being the center of attention? Men are so fucked in the head sometimes.
No need for personal attacks, it was more of a philosophical question, like would the concept of slutty even exist in a practical way anymore if there weren't any men left.
I mean bisexual and lesbian women would still exist so I don't see why the concept of being slutty wouldn't.
I'll admit I don't really understand the concept of wanting to dress a certain way but also not wanting anyone to look at you for it? Like, I give a very little fucks about what people think I have gone to the store in my robe (sweats and basic tshirt under) in the winter before. I know damn well people are looking at me and thinking I'm just some trashy bum for it but I don't really give a fuck I'm doing it for me because it's comfortable it doesn't bother me in the slightest that they judge me for it, if anything they're probably just jealous.
And I feel like the same should extend to women that want to dress in revealing clothing, yeah some people are going to look at you for it. But why does that have to bother you? You're doing it for you not them
Yeah I agree with everything in this comment except for the unnecessary hostility in the last sentence.
People can be slutty if they want. And people can judge you for being or appearing slutty if they want. It's up to you to decide how to react to their opinions. If you want to dress slutty, then you shouldn't care what people think about how you dress because you are just being you. And that's not a matter of sex-- that's a matter of self confidence. And you can't blame your self confidence on other people, because at the end of the day you can't change other people. You can either change yourself or empower yourself to resist change and forge your own path. It's your choice.
Going for a topless walk on the beach at night! It's the only time I'd feel safe enough to. I've been sexually harassed and assaulted enough, starting back when I was a little girl, to know I could never do that normally.
It is a lot safer for women to assume a man is dangerous until proven otherwise. I don't really see a comment that posits that only men are dangerous or bad, but stomp your feet and cross your arms when women tell you their lived experience, it's a great look.
Lesbians are 25% more likely than straight women to be on the receiving end of domestic violence. Women are no more universally saints than men are universally sinners and I'm tired of women pretending they are.
If you're going to decide whether or not you can trust someone based on nothing but their outward appearance, at least be right.
It's possible and sensible to acknowledge that people have had bad experiences while also acknowledging sexism, regardless of whether said sexism stems from experience. Prejudice is prejudice.
Saying women aren't sexist if some men have wronged them is like saying white supremacists aren't racist if someone from the race they discriminate against stole their car.
I really don't want to upset anyone by saying this. But I am speaking my truth, my experience, just as you all are speaking yours. Paint me whatever villain you see fit, say whatever denigrating things about me you want. I am a respectful human being who sees all sexes and races as equal, and nothing that anyone says will ever change that. If that somehow upsets you, then I'm sorry you are so far gone.
Statistically, the vast majority of random muggings and assaults are done by men, so I actually think this is fair. As far as this particular scenario goes.
Full hair and makeup, sparkly dress that shows a lot, go to a trendy bar with my friends and get blackout ass drunk without worrying about protecting my drink all night and knowing I can walk home by myself.
In the morning I would nurse the hangover while ordering the biggest ass teddy 🐻 bear 🐻 that will fit through my door as a memento.
I'm pretty sure there is critically important infrastructure technology that is not maintained by all female teams, so probably stuff would fall apart, the world needs all of us. But if it's more like they suddenly don't see us for a day, we all still exist but cannot interact in any way? Or they are all also women for that day?
And I can have the day off?
I'm going to the beach to swim and sunbathe nude. Then out for a drink at the bar that's close enough to walk home from, but not safe enough to walk home from.