Are you still living with your parents/family?

I'm 34 and yeah I'm still living with my mother, share the room with my uncle, her brother (he lives with us).

I don't have a job right now but even when I HAD a full time job I didn't had intention of moving, I don't have a partner to share the bills and living alone could fuck completely my life and not just partially.

If you think that's weird I have 3 uncles, in their late 50 still living with my grandma in their big house. Only 1 of them are married and the other 2 never had a gf. All that part of the family is living there.

PonyOfWar ,

Not still, but again. Moved back when Covid hit and my company started to allow working from home. Honestly, I prefer it. Lived in a tiny city apartment, now I live in a large house in a village, with a garden and lots of nature around. The house would be too large and expensive for my mom to live there alone, so it makes sense for both of us.

frickineh ,

That's where I'm at. I moved back home after my divorce about 8 years ago and it's been really nice. My mom and I have always been really close, and it's nice to spend more time together as we get older. I'd rather pay rent to her and help with the bills than pay a landlord, too.

Hadriscus ,

I live with my wife, she's almost like family

pastermil ,

She's literally family the moment you marry her, bro...

dohpaz42 ,
@dohpaz42@lemmy.world avatar

Personally, I’ve always hated this notion of a nuclear family, and that there is some standard that people must go by, lest you be weird or lesser of a person. The more that times goes on, and the economy is the way it is, the more I feel justified in my thinking.

I lived with my folks into my late 20s. I only moved out because I went on a date with a girl, and never left. She never said anything, so I kept going back to her place. It just sort of happened. If I hadn’t met her, I don’t know when I’d have moved out of my parent’s house.

If your mother is okay with it, why the hell not? She probably enjoys the company. I currently live alone, except the weeks I have my kids, and while I do enjoy time to myself, I look forward to having my boys around. I’ve told my sons that no matter how old they are, or what happens in their life, they will always have a home with me. My youngest (9) states he is never moving out, and he’s not one to joke about that. 😅

I say, if it works for you and your family, do it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and fuck off to anybody who says otherwise.

SORROW OP , (edited )

She doesn't. My younger brother already had a daughter with his first gf and moved with his new fiance and together had bought a big house. But what I'm supposed to do...

Elextra ,

Concur. Hate the nuclear family idea. And no worries about still living with your family OP. Most people do and if it works, it works. I live with my husband and moved out at 24 but have many friends that havent and we are in our 30s now. Hope you do find a job sometime though! I believe for most people jobs provide more sense of security and more financial wiggle room.

ultranaut ,

Moved out at 18 and never looked back. You couldn't pay me to live with them.

nokturne213 ,
@nokturne213@sopuli.xyz avatar

I moved out at 18 as well, was back briefly for a week when I dropped out of college. 10 years ago I moved my wife and kids back to my hometown and we lived with my parents for 6 months while we found our own place.

My mom moved out a couple years ago, and I am about to move back in with my dad to take care of him. I have an RV parked next to his house. If my mother was still living with my dad I would never consider it.

The_v ,

Moved out at 17. Haven't spoken to my parents in over a decade. The only interaction I plan on having with them in the future is pissing on their graves.

NorthWestWind , (edited )
@NorthWestWind@lemmy.world avatar

Yes. It's Asian culture :)

Living with your parents and taking care of them is considered a good quality

SORROW OP ,

In my case is more poor culture / anti social

tipicaldik ,

I'm one of the parents in this arrangement and we wouldn't have it any other way. We raised three kids, a son and two daughters. None of us are rich by any means, but we're all currently self-sufficient. The one's that live here don't do it out of need, but because they'd be crazy not to. We own a decent-sized ranch style house, plenty of room for two couples, on 2.6 acres with a largish pool, and it's conveniently located to everything one wants to be convenient to. At this stage in our lives, if it were just my wife and I here we'd go crazy. This place has been the central family gathering spot for our local extended family for decades now. Pretty much every month at least one big gathering is happening here. Anywho... We've paid it off and deeded it to a trust, with the three kids being successor trustees. Once we're gone, the property transfers automatically. They can live here forever, or they can sell it and split the proceeds three ways, but I seriously doubt they'll ever do that. Our oldest lives nearby quite affordably with his girlfriend (both child-free by choice), and our middle daughter and her husband own their own place with our two grand-daughters just outside of town. Our youngest daughter and her husband (no kids yet) live here with us. This son-in-law races street-stocks on dirt and was able to build a big 30' x 60' shop in the back, so this place is like heaven to him. He's 28 going on 12 and has a pretty good job, so he gets to buy whatever toys he wants, and with the investment of his shop into the property, he's actually got some skin in the game. They are both hugely helpful, and it's a great arrangement for all of us. We're currently kicking around some ideas for my son and his girlfriend to move back onto the property, but into their own space...

Croquette ,

Seems to me like a great thing you have. My children are still pretty young, but I hope I can give them a comfortable place with us all my life if they so choose.

I don't have that kind of relationship with my parents, so I hope I'll be able to have one with my own children.

SORROW OP ,

You all sound lucky. Yeah, I'm i don't have those options... Is either this tiny room or the streets

Hadriscus ,

Sounds fantastic for real. Enjoy

asbestos ,
@asbestos@lemmy.world avatar

I feel like I got a free glimpse into your life and it’s great

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

39 and live with my dad because I can only ever get jobs that pay minimum fucking wage and no matter how long I stay somewhere, I never get a raise. When he dies, I'll end up working 60 hours a week to still be fucking homeless. This country is fucking shit.

SORROW OP ,

I can't even get those type of jobs and just forget about even trying to have a family. We're fucked.

protist ,

15,825 posts and comments in a year... 😬

Lemmy is your job, apparently

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/47a3c6d2-da79-49f4-b590-a9f89b556b22.jpeg

Flax_vert ,

1000041838

FTFY

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

Well, yeah. Me, my wife, and my kid live with my dad. I'm almost 50.

Mind you, I bought the house from him. But the whole "can't have a family home" thing where you have to live separate from parents or grandparents to be an adult is utter bullshit. It is often easier to navigate the interpersonal stuff when it's the classic nuclear family and the kids move out to start their own, just because relationships and the work of them is exponential based on the number of people and the number of relationships between them. If you're the parent and the landlord to an adult offspring, that's two complicating factors in making things work peacefully and (hopefully) happily. Add in another generation, especially when grandparents are part of the child rearing, and shit can get messy fast.

We make it work by the framework of: my house, our home, your room.

The house itself is mine, I have final say in structural changes, repairs, etc, because I'm the one on the hook for any legal issues that derive from such. But the running of the household is by consensus of the adults, and input from the kid, with agreed on boundaries. Within those boundaries, if you're in your own room, you do what you want. The kid is aware of what the boundaries are, and that they won't be changing when they become an adult, and they'll have the freedom of choice to stay or head out, knowing there's a safety net here they can rely on.

They ever have kids, those kids would have the same choice.

Yeah, a house can only hold so many people before it becomes a chaos that isn't bearable. No matter how big the house, that remains true. But a family home is still a very valid and good choice where life makes it useful/necessary.

Shit, on my end, if the kid stays here until they're in their fifties, I'm happy as hell, as long as they're here because it works for them. They'll be inheriting the place if I get it paid off before I die anyway.

I moved back here as a temporary thing in my late twenties. Left the city I had been working in and was looking for a place of my own. My best friend came with me, and when my mom finally moved out post divorce, it just kinda worked until I had to buy the place. After that, it still worked, and the people involved have changed a few times, but there's this wonderful sense of connection and security knowing that we all have a place to be if we want it.

TootSweet ,

From the content of this thread, I'm betting there's a lot of selection bias going on. The ones who don't scroll past. The ones who do post.

And I'll follow that pattern. I still live with my mother. Never moved out. Live in the same house I was raised in. But my mother was never really financially stable. My grandmother with whom my mother and I lived... well, she managed to keep us housed and fed with credit card debt, which honestly worked out very well.

Anyway, I was kindof the only person who really made much of an income in my household and have been financially supporting my parents for decades now. (Though my grandmother passed on a few years back and left me a life insurance policy.)

I'm 37 now.

ModernRisk ,
@ModernRisk@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Yeah, I’m. For multiple reasons;

  • In Arabian culture, one doesn’t leave until marriage.
  • I’m still in university (almost finished tho).
  • Parents have health problems therefore, I’ll stay longer to take care for them.
  • House prices are insanely high (both renting and purchasing).

I’m living in Europe though but my dad is from a Arabian country and well, culture stayed with him. Anyway, I’d help a lot at home. Household things, helping with groceries, medication and such.

That said, I don’t care what anyone says about still living at home and not on my own. There will be always a chance to get an apartment but people often forget; parents won’t be here forever. One day they’ll pass away. Never forget that.

SORROW OP , (edited )

I met a Pakistani dude at my former job, very good worker but almost as miserable as I was, he quit the job because he had an arranged marriage back in his country... Not sure if I can call that being lucky but I guess is not my business

ModernRisk ,
@ModernRisk@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

So, what has this story to do with my own comment?

Monster96 ,

Yeah, I was going to move now that I have a steady job but now we just got the news that my dad's condition is worsening, and, since it's just my parents and me, I'm gonna stay to help. Thank goodness for remote work.

skeezix ,

Best wishes for your dad. I hope things get better or that fate gives you peace.

lvxferre ,
@lvxferre@mander.xyz avatar

I'm almost 40. More than a decade ago I used to live on my own, then decided to move back with my mum. It was better for both - splitting expenses, keeping her company, splitting tasks, so goes on.

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

Moved in with the in laws to help them out as they are getting older, not for financial reasons. Took some adjustment aince it is kind of like being back in an apartment likenwhen we were first married but at least I know the 'neighbors'.

lennybird ,
@lennybird@lemmy.world avatar

My parents live with me.

Okay, well, one of them now. They divorced under our roof during covid while my wife was pregnant with our first child. Ah, fun times!

Drusas ,

Not for two decades now, and thank god for that.

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