Are you still living with your parents/family?

I'm 34 and yeah I'm still living with my mother, share the room with my uncle, her brother (he lives with us).

I don't have a job right now but even when I HAD a full time job I didn't had intention of moving, I don't have a partner to share the bills and living alone could fuck completely my life and not just partially.

If you think that's weird I have 3 uncles, in their late 50 still living with my grandma in their big house. Only 1 of them are married and the other 2 never had a gf. All that part of the family is living there.

Wahots ,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

Not currently, but I might temporarily move back with family as my lease is ending soon, and I want to save money for a house or condo. I also would rather not sign a lease on a small place, and be stuck with a tiny 1bd studio apartment when my fiancé moves in with me. But I also don't want to throw a ton of cash away on a 2bd unnecessary.

I wish rent wasn't so insane. I blame most of the companies now using algorithmic rent to control vast swaths of housing here.

Once I switch jobs and really know where my new career is taking me, I can really start looking at the housing market. Praying for a good housing crash, or a dip that causes Black Rock and the other investment firms to panic sell all their real estate ❤️

learningduck , (edited )

Me too. I do remote work. Our rural home is comfortably big enough to accommodate 5 people.
It's cheaper to share bills, no rent, CoL is cheaper in the rural area too.

My baby bonds well with my parents too.

lennybird ,
@lennybird@lemmy.world avatar

My parents live with me.

Okay, well, one of them now. They divorced under our roof during covid while my wife was pregnant with our first child. Ah, fun times!

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

No and I probably couldn't if I wanted to, with the caregivers gone and everyone else shunning me.

Hadriscus ,

I live with my wife, she's almost like family

pastermil ,

She's literally family the moment you marry her, bro...

flop_leash_973 ,

Nothing wrong with that setup if everyone is on board with it.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

39 and live with my dad because I can only ever get jobs that pay minimum fucking wage and no matter how long I stay somewhere, I never get a raise. When he dies, I'll end up working 60 hours a week to still be fucking homeless. This country is fucking shit.

SORROW OP ,

I can't even get those type of jobs and just forget about even trying to have a family. We're fucked.

protist ,

15,825 posts and comments in a year... 😬

Lemmy is your job, apparently

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/47a3c6d2-da79-49f4-b590-a9f89b556b22.jpeg

Flax_vert ,

1000041838

FTFY

grasshopper_mouse ,
@grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world avatar

I live in a high cost of living area and I was just telling my coworker, who lives in another state, that I know several people my age (mid-40s) who either still live with their parents or who live with several roommates of the same age, and I don't blame them a bit because it's fucking insane out there, dude, and only getting worse.

OceanSoap ,

It just depends.

I moved back in with my mom for about 4 years while I went back to school. I moved out 2 months after I graduated, once I secured a job in my new field.

NorthWestWind , (edited )
@NorthWestWind@lemmy.world avatar

Yes. It's Asian culture :)

Living with your parents and taking care of them is considered a good quality

SORROW OP ,

In my case is more poor culture / anti social

Flax_vert ,

I think it depends on circumstances. Some people are genuine neckbeard NEETs who need to stop being a drain on society. Some people are just jobsearching or in education and aren't assholes to everyone they live with.

dingus ,

Yeah if you're a functional member of society, then I don't at all get the stigma. It's the NEETs that should be getting a bad rap.

I've got my own place, but I've asked my mom to come live with me before. She doesn't want to lol (for various reasons, but we have a really good relationship), but I definitely would feel super comfortable doing so if the circumstances called for it!

SORROW OP ,

Why would they had to get a bad rap?

Flax_vert ,

Unless you have a severe illness you're receiving government benefits for, NEETs are generally in the position through their own fault because they are lazy

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

I moved out to go to college at 18 and back in with my mom as 21 after dropping out due to financial issues. I had trouble finding work there, nothing stable that paid well. I was a pretty lonely depressed guy, a virgin into my 20s, with nothing significant in my life and nothing to offer anyone else. It was a pretty shit time for me.
I ended up moving in briefly with my dad 2 states away and was able to find a decent paying factory job shortly thereafter and got my own apartment. Then I found an even better paying factory job a year or two later, and got promoted to management within the year. I lost a bunch of weight, was able to save money, lost my virginity finally and I bought a house. I met the woman who would become my wife. Sold my house moved in with her. Went back to school, got my degree, got a much higher paying job, bought a much nicer house and we just had our first kid.

I don't want to tell you how to live and I am not under the impression that everyone can just do what I did. Everyone is different. Circumstances are different. I know. But nothing in my life started to improve from my lowest point in my adulthood until I stopped the complacency, moves out and worked to improve myself and my life. I would be shocked if your 50+ year old uncles who live with you grandmother and have never had a girlfriend are truly happy with their situation. I would encourage you to seek to change your situation if you can. I'm only a year older than you. At one time I was tens of thousands in debt, out of shape, had teeth falling out, living with my mom, no social life, no girlfriends, sexless, penniless, and had no hope or outlook in life. I have had my own share of failures, yet I am in a good place now. I got my teeth fixed, got a degree, i have a nice job, a nice house, a wife and beautiful daughter, and we're comfortable. I hope you can get there too.

SORROW OP ,

This type of post depress me more tbh. But it's not your fault. You just said it, you're my age and got all that. I have nothing.

Flax_vert ,

I don't know what your situation is. Do you go outside much? What's stopping you from getting a job? I basically had to exposure therapy myself to the outside world and it was difficult and took nearly two years but it was so so so much worth it.

SORROW OP , (edited )

I just don't wanna be social and hate the world. And the few interviews I got had failed. I'm not charming or funny, so no wonder I'm invisible to women. And, this is important, I feel like this is my nature, it's not going to change. I have no education because I know I couldn't handle it, I'm dumb. And all the manual jobs here ask for experience before. Even for a fucking fast food.

The only real job I had lasted for 4 years but quit due the abuse there. I got sick of their bs. Nobody, even the poorest should be treated like that

protist , (edited )

I just don't wanna be social and hate the world.

Saying that after also talking about how your situation is depressing to you indicates you want things to be different but aren't ready to try to make anything different. People's life circumstances can fuck with them, for sure, but the only person who can make anything different for you is you.

You're stuck having a pity party for yourself and you've spun your self-hatred into hatred for "the world." Try really hard to let go of whatever shame and self-hatred you're holding on to and accept that none of us are perfect, and there are actually plenty people out there who would accept you and be your friend if you treat them with respect.

Flax_vert ,

I'm going to be straight to you here: The only thing holding you back is yourself. If you have a neurodivergency, I recommend getting in touch with an agency that helps find work for ND people. Your nature isn't going to change by just sitting in your room all day. I don't want to work either; I don't think anybody does. I don't want to do education. But forcing myself through it as difficult as it was made me a MUCH better person and more capable and gave me a job that even though I struggle with some days, I enjoy. By sitting in your room all day, you're just going to make yourself worse and there'll be no future for you. Don't give up in your 30's. It's not too late to do something. Switch off the news as well, delete social media if you have to. There is bad news about this world as we're a fallen species, but for our own life, we have to make the best of it.

SORROW OP ,

It is dude. It's done and I get it. Someone has to die alone and failed. Otherwise this world would be over populated. I get that you're trying to be positive but that doesn't work for me.

Flax_vert ,

Overpopulation is a myth. We need more younger people than older people

You have seemed to make it clear that you want to die alone and not even try. If you won't get therapy of some kind, don't try and make other people suffer or justify your situation in front of other people. People are giving you advice here and you're refusing it, trying to justify yourself as some hero over "overpopulation" or something, and it's pathetic. You have plenty of time, you should resolve to want to turn your life around.

SORROW OP ,

I don't want to. But it is what's going to happen. I'm not justifying anything.

tipicaldik ,

I'm one of the parents in this arrangement and we wouldn't have it any other way. We raised three kids, a son and two daughters. None of us are rich by any means, but we're all currently self-sufficient. The one's that live here don't do it out of need, but because they'd be crazy not to. We own a decent-sized ranch style house, plenty of room for two couples, on 2.6 acres with a largish pool, and it's conveniently located to everything one wants to be convenient to. At this stage in our lives, if it were just my wife and I here we'd go crazy. This place has been the central family gathering spot for our local extended family for decades now. Pretty much every month at least one big gathering is happening here. Anywho... We've paid it off and deeded it to a trust, with the three kids being successor trustees. Once we're gone, the property transfers automatically. They can live here forever, or they can sell it and split the proceeds three ways, but I seriously doubt they'll ever do that. Our oldest lives nearby quite affordably with his girlfriend (both child-free by choice), and our middle daughter and her husband own their own place with our two grand-daughters just outside of town. Our youngest daughter and her husband (no kids yet) live here with us. This son-in-law races street-stocks on dirt and was able to build a big 30' x 60' shop in the back, so this place is like heaven to him. He's 28 going on 12 and has a pretty good job, so he gets to buy whatever toys he wants, and with the investment of his shop into the property, he's actually got some skin in the game. They are both hugely helpful, and it's a great arrangement for all of us. We're currently kicking around some ideas for my son and his girlfriend to move back onto the property, but into their own space...

Croquette ,

Seems to me like a great thing you have. My children are still pretty young, but I hope I can give them a comfortable place with us all my life if they so choose.

I don't have that kind of relationship with my parents, so I hope I'll be able to have one with my own children.

SORROW OP ,

You all sound lucky. Yeah, I'm i don't have those options... Is either this tiny room or the streets

Hadriscus ,

Sounds fantastic for real. Enjoy

asbestos ,
@asbestos@lemmy.world avatar

I feel like I got a free glimpse into your life and it’s great

SwearingRobin ,

I don't, but I don't think there's anything fundamentally wrong with doing so. Me and my dad don't get along great, so we try to keep it short and civil when I visit, to keep the peace. I know that i would have to be in a really bad spot to move back in and deal with his bad temper regularly again.

ultranaut ,

Moved out at 18 and never looked back. You couldn't pay me to live with them.

nokturne213 ,
@nokturne213@sopuli.xyz avatar

I moved out at 18 as well, was back briefly for a week when I dropped out of college. 10 years ago I moved my wife and kids back to my hometown and we lived with my parents for 6 months while we found our own place.

My mom moved out a couple years ago, and I am about to move back in with my dad to take care of him. I have an RV parked next to his house. If my mother was still living with my dad I would never consider it.

The_v ,

Moved out at 17. Haven't spoken to my parents in over a decade. The only interaction I plan on having with them in the future is pissing on their graves.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • [email protected]
  • kbinchat
  • All magazines
    •