Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I'm struggling to cope. What are the ways you've dealt with heartbreak in the past?
Do cool shit, and be awesome. Living well is the best way to get over the life you you wanted but will never be. The one constant in your entire life is you, so the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you'll ever have.
So take a solo road trip. See that movie in the theater that you heard was great. Treat yourself to a nice dinner at that fusion place you were wanting to check out. Read and learn about the world. Take a class in that language you wanted to learn. Bake yourself fancy treats. Take on a new hobby. Make art.
To be the kind of person others will find awesome, you have to first become that person; in so doing, the pain of losing that ideal life you are mourning will slowly fade. It will never vanish completely, but over time the pain will become minimal, like rediscovering a tiny paper cut on your finger that you'd forgotten about.
Treating it like being sick (like a cold) helps me. That way I justify taking it slow. It's something that will pass and it's totally normal to feel really bad. It will probably be better soon but I need a lot of rest/self-care.
Time is unfortunately the best medicine. Just take it one day at a time. Don't stay in contact with them. Reach out to your friends and try to fill your time spending time with them.
Main thing is to keep yourself distracted. The ruminating will come, but right now you need to heal. I wasn't able to clearly reflect on my ex and our relationship for easily over a year or so later.
Every other answer is in some way just making your perception of time accelerate.
But the only way to process emotional loss, of a close loved one; is with time. That's just the way our brains are wired. We couldn't survive as a species if we didn't get numb to pain and trauma in the past.
Yes, time. But what do you do while the memories fade and replaced with? Friends, family, work, hobbies. I picked up a guitar after a devastating break-up that ate a lot of that time needed.
Not gonna sugarcoat it – this will suck for a long time. For me it was friends, hookups and time that helped.
Friends let me forget for the time we hung out but also listened and just hugged me when I cried.
Hookups (and I realise this sounds vapid as shit) made me feel like I am still wanted and attractive.
Time made the thought of them sting less.
This will smost likely stick with you, but it's going to be okay. It's not going to hurt this badly forever. You will think of it less and less frequently. But you will have that scar. And that's okay, I think.
It'll be hard. Just surround yourself with the people who matter most to you. Even if it's mundane things like going to the grocery store together. Try to remind yourself that these feelings are only temporary. Good luck to you, sincerely. I spiraled very hard after my last heartbreak and it ruined my life for a while. Wouldn't wish that on anyone else.
I rode my bike in the woods. I would find a nice quiet spot and post up for 10 minutes and smoke a joint and then finish up my ride. If you’re gonna be sad you might as well be sad in nature. It’s therapeutic
Ugh, heartache is literally painful. I'm sorry you are going through that.
For me, getting iver someone has been a multi-pronged approach.
Accept that I'm going to feel grief for a while...at least a few months. That's okay and normal. Don't fight it, don't get mad at it. Just notice it and ride it out. Your brain has to severe the neural networks that were dedicated to him, while rebuilding new ones. This is a process that takes a while.
Start connecting with friends that are healthy. They can be a nice source of validation, connection, and support.
Work on a new project to have a focus. This can help in those moments where I'm sitting around ruminating with nothing to do or no desire to do anything. Even if I'm ruminating while doing the project, at least I'll something to show for it when it's over.
Start a new hobby to define myself apart from the relationship. I'm going to be a new person.
When ready, start throwing out all of their stuff. I even get rid of gifts. If it reminds me of then when I look at it, it's gone.
Things will get easier as you stop thinking about them slowly over the next dew weeks to months. Eventually, they become someone that you used to know with no real meaning other than the lessons you learned from that experience.