I don’t want you to think that I’m discounting your story or that I don’t think it matters. Of course what you’re going through matters. What I mean by what I said is that the red flags and the hitting the “get the fuck out of here” button was evident in your headline. I didn’t need to hear the “why”. I’d already heard enough.
You’re smart enough to know that some Fuckery is going on and that it is wrong. You’re strong enough to stand up and say, “this is wrong! “. And while you are here, making sure to confirm that you’re not crazy, let me at least say: you’re not crazy! Do something to protect yourself and fight back! And if you can’t, get the fuck out of this situation!
Sadly, your company’s HR will side with the company and to try to protect itself should you complain to them. So, when you do, keep that in mind. What I mean by this is that you must frame both your complaint AND your approach in such a way that I dressing your complaints is in their best interest.
HOW they do this, however, is the dice-roll. The reasonable and rational way may not be the way that is the most expedient “protect the companies ass” way. Maybe you look out and get a great HR person who really is on your side and does the right thing. But the likelihood of that is very low. It’s more likely that the HR person is going to try to protect the company and deal with the situation as a bothersome annoyance, dealing with his situation in a “both sides” manner in order to appear neutral and make the problem just go away.
Prepare for this.
Unless you can provide a mountain of evidence of egregious offense, by this other person, this could blow back on you. If you can, good, but even still, there could be consequences. I’m sorry, there shouldn’t be, and there are technically legal protections against us, but shitty workplaces and toxic workplace cultures, always find their way around these sorts of things. This may not apply where you work, but you should still be prepared for it nonetheless.
However, you should not let any of this dissuade you from doing what is right in standing out to yourself and making sure that you have a safe workplace. Be brave.