can you help me formulate an answer to a colleague who is not my boss but feels entitled to tell me how I have to work?

kandoh , 2 months ago

Is the end result the same? Sometimes the right process gets better end results. Especially if you're a new hire, it's worth considering doing it their way just out of humility.

I feel you believe you are my boss. You are not. Stop telling me how to work. It's tiring. You have your way of doing things, I've got mine, both equally good. Should you have a problem with this, contact the charge or manager. I'm gonna go work now.

This is an extremely aggressive way to speak to someone. It's a little wild that this is what you came up with trying to be neutral and diplomatic. Genuinely makes me question if you're understanding this person and your role correctly.

If you're certain that doing it your way is just as good then I recommend the following message:

Hi [person's name]! I wanted to thank you for your help getting me situated into this new role at [company name]. I really appreciate the difficulties of integrating a new team member, and I want you to know I'm 100% committed to doing good work together.

My personal experience with projects like these involves a work flow that looks more like [x, y, z], and the clients that I've worked for using this process were always happy with the results. The process you showed me where it's [a, b, c] doesn't make as much sense to me, perhaps we can schedule some time to go over why it's more effective doing it [a, b, c] rather than [x, y, z]? Otherwise, just for the sake of completing the project ASAP I would prefer using the way I have more experience with.

Happy to discuss this with you further at anytime and excited about the great things we'll be making together 😁

That's a bullet proof corporate email any manager would take a look at and know you're not the problem.

Minarble , 2 months ago

Ask them to show you how it’s done.

Do the same thing next time.

Back away slowly and leave them to it.

Go and have a coffee.

Ask for a raise as you are good at managing people to do the work.

Stovetop , 2 months ago

Rule number 1 in a work dispute is to always place yourself as the better person. Even if there are a million things you'd like to say to that person, say whatever is needed to make sure that an outsider looking in would see you as the more sympathetic.

The proposed message seems a bit too direct and harsh, and if scrutinized might be seen as confrontational. I would probably word it more like:

"Hey, thank you for all the advice. I've had a lot of time to try what you've suggested, but in the end I've decided that the way I've been doing things just makes more sense for me after all. I appreciate your perspective though, and I'm glad you have a workflow that works better for you."

Based on the "charge nurse" mention, I am assuming you work in a hospital setting, so you could also throw in a "My main priority is patient care, and I would hate to cause any potential harm if I end up messing something up because it's not the way I'm used to doing it."

That being said, again assuming this is a hospital environment, I'd also like to encourage the following:

• Be mindful of potential regulatory slip-ups that you can get dinged for. The technology and documentation that you work with isn't the authority on following best practices, you are. The EMR won't always stop you from doing something wrong, even if it seems "easier".

• Confirm with the charge/manager that there isn't some other necessary element that your coworker's workflow satisfies but yours might miss. They are just as stressed as everyone else and can't watch every instance of care during every hour of the day. That's what periodic audits are for, and sometimes things may not accurately paint a picture of your performance if they measure one metric but you are using another.

• If your IT people tell you that X is the new way of doing things and Y will be going away, do your best to get used to X as quickly as possible. Sometimes the change is overblown, Y still works even after X is added, but you don't want to have 8 patients on your list for the day and suddenly have to make significant workflow changes if that turns out to not be the case. And similar to what was mentioned before, sometimes changes are regulatory in nature.

jbrains , 2 months ago

Don't assume you know what is going through their mind, if you want to neutral and polite.

"I believe I'm fulfilling the duties of the job. What am I failing to get done?"

Focus on the requirements of the job and the fact that you're meeting them.

dan1101 , 2 months ago

Not sure I like this because it assumes it is her business to decide whether you're doing the job.

jmcs , 2 months ago

In a healthy workplace your peers are allowed (and should even be incentivized) to give you feedback about your work. Requesting a justification can turn an order into valid constructive feedback. Or it can be the start of an entire circus performance if there's no actual justification but it would at least try to address the issue.

EchoCT , 2 months ago

Nice: "Thank you for the input, I prefer to do it the way I have been, which is equally effective and works for me. If you believe it is causing issues elsewhere in our workflow we can bring it up with manager "

Less Nice: "I understand, but no thank you."

Less nice than that: While maintaining direct eye contact, "No."

Not nice: "Shouldn't you be doing your job and not mine?"

Satisfying, but likely get you fired: "Fuck off."

smuuthbrane , 2 months ago

The disarming route:

You: Can I have a raise?
Pest: What? I can't give you one, I'm not your boss.
You: Say that last part again slowly. [insert raise eyebrows here for emphasis]

otp , 2 months ago

You: Can I have a raise?

Pest: What? I can't give you one. Your work is shit.

You: Say that last part again slowly.

Pest: Your... Work is --

You: Dammit, you messed it up!