A colleague sent a video of a murder at work today and I'm still seething. What rights do I have? (UK)

teawrecks , 2 months ago

Honestly, I feel like you're being bizarrely calm about the situation. This is so far beyond unacceptable that one or both of them should be immediately fired for this offense, lest you have an open-and-shut hostile work environment lawsuit on your hands.

I would make sure to keep the text as evidence and let HR know about it. If the guys are somehow not fired, and ever approach you again or try to retaliate in any way, go consult a lawyer.

friend_of_satan , 2 months ago

Talk to HR. If they are not responsive talk to a lawyer that specializes in workplace law.

13esq OP , 2 months ago

I might report it but not name him. I know there is a chance that he could get sacked, I think the guy is a grade A moron but I'm not willing to ruin his life over it.

MrQuallzin , 2 months ago

He's ruining his own life by being a moron. By not naming him in a complaint, he will not learn that his actions have consequences.

13esq OP , 2 months ago

There's consequences and then there's ruining his livelihood. I'm severely pissed off but seeing him sacked won't make me feel better. I don't want revenge, I just want him to act like a professional.

MrVilliam , 2 months ago

He's already ignored your requests to be more professional. You've already made it clear that his behavior is making you uncomfortable. I'm sure there's a code of conduct or similar somewhere that he agreed to that would prohibit this bullshit. Fuck him. Whatever happens to him is on him at this point.

Okokimup , 2 months ago

Consequences and revenge are not the same thing. If he doesn't receive the direct consequences of his actions, he will not learn that he shouldn't do that. Clearly he is incapable of learning via polite means. You are not the only person he's doing this to, and it is not acceptable.

pr06lefs , 2 months ago

The consequences are 100% on him and 0% on you.

He chose to be a douche and is presuming on others to keep this under wraps so he can continue being abusive. Playing along with his secrecy game only helps the abuser. You have absolutely no obligation to keep this private, and moreover you have digital evidence in the form of a text message.

prettybunnys , 2 months ago

You’re allowing their behavior to be normalized, they think it’s ok because you are allowing it to be ok.

frostysauce , 2 months ago

This person will obviously never be professional. How many others you work with are also traumatized by those videos but don't say anything, I wonder. Get this scumbag fired for your coworkers if you won't do it for yourself.

letsgo , 2 months ago

I'm UK too. As I see it your options are one or more of:

1. ignore the incident without comment and don't give him the satisfaction of upsetting you;

2. block him so he can't do it again. If he needs your number for other reasons then he gave up that right when he sent you that disgusting stuff; now he needs other routes, which you can block as needed;

3. raise the issue with your team leader or manager advising that you just want it to stop, you don't want disciplinary action taken against him, but if he's a repeat offender then the company might take it further anyway (which would be appropriate and correct);

4. DO NOT go to HR. They are not your friend or ally. They are there to protect the company and it's just as likely you'll be terminated as him. HR is a last resort, if you can't get any satisfaction from management, and you keep suffering this kind of abuse (because that's what it is; I'm not exaggerating), only then go to HR and even then only after notifying everyone concerned - the bully/bullies and your manager - that's what you're going to do.

If this cockwomble gets fired because of sending that video to you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's his own stupidity that got him there, not you "grassing him up" or whatever other cockney nonsense you might have knocking around inside your noggin. You don't owe that wanknugget anything, especially after he sent you stuff you explicitly said you didn't want to see.

Diplomjodler3 , 2 months ago

With that kind of attitude you will be a victim forever.

obinice , 2 months ago

Being sacked isn't ruining someone's life. There are other companies, other jobs. It's hardly the end of the world.

What you're saying is "I want him to know it's okay to keep doing this to other people with no consequences".

Appoxo , 2 months ago

In what world is sending gore videos to colleagues normal???

Jimmyeatsausage , 2 months ago

I mean, if that's ok, it's surely ok for OP to send the offending coworker random dick pics every day at lunch.

VaultBoyNewVegas , 2 months ago

I'm opening myself here to be spammed but I'd much rather receive dick picks over snuff.

Jimmyeatsausage , 2 months ago

Yeah, but the guy that thinks sharing snuff films at work ok is likely to also be the kind of guy that is vehemently homophobic...and I mean the more scientific definition where exposure causes physical disgust or discomfort as opposed to the more political definition of just not viewing them as equals. I don't think it's a huge leap to assume this is the kind of person that would have the same visceral experience they shared with OP...especially if OP were to imply the massive, throbbing high definition photo was also actually gore.

ShepherdPie , 2 months ago

Not only that, but "it's known that I don't like gore videos" like it's some common thing that comes up in conversation. I've worked at some raunchy "boys will be boys" type places and the worst we would do is surprise each other with some gay porn images or stuff like 'two girls one cup.'

Fondots , 2 months ago

Not exactly sending them to coworkers, but I did kind of refer a coworker to one once.

I work in 911 dispatch, it's kind of hard not to end up a little desensitized to some crazy shit. We once had a call about some kind of industrial accident, someone's arm caught in a machine or something along those lines. Obviously not going to share too many specific details about the incident, but we did have a teams on location ready to do a field amputation if needed, but luckily they were able to get the person out without any major injuries.

So our conversations tended to be about a lot of the crazy gory fucked up things we'd taken calls about or otherwise seen or heard about, and I mentioned the Russian lathe accident video to one of my coworkers (don't look that up if you're not the kind of fucked up who can deal with that sort of thing, it's a guy getting caught in a heavy duty lathe and spun around and mashed against the machine until someone comes and hits the emergency stop, at which point there's nothing much left of him)

That piqued her interest, and she went and watched it on her phone at her next break.

I wouldn't send the video to anyone, especially not out of the blue, and when it comes up I warn people not to look it up if they're the type of person who would be significantly disturbed by it. In general I won't even mention it to people who don't work either in some sort of emergency services or medical sort of field where we have to occasionally deal with that kind of thing, or in a machine shop where they're working around those kinds of machines, and even then it's something that only gets brought up to certain people in certain contexts.

Today , 2 months ago

You're being bullied. He will continue because he thinks you won't respond. Bullies get worse, not better.

Diplomjodler3 , 2 months ago

Absolutely correct. That asshole knew exactly what he was doing and he is only going to escalate if OP doesn't push back.

rasakaf679 , 2 months ago

OP gets a random number. Honey traps him. And breaks his heart and at the end send him dick pic

BruceLee , 2 months ago

As for law I don't know but this is work harassement. Your company surely has a policy against it.
I would advice you to go to your HR make a complain even you don't go all the way to make sure he is punished, you should make sure they is a official trace of what happened. For you, for what you went thought also for the case he keeps going and for other how might be his next victims of harassment in the futur.

Potatos_are_not_friends , 2 months ago

Yep work harassment. Not even a maybe.

If some edgelord employee sent a picture of a gun to someone with no context, HR will file it under threat. The edgelord won't get in serious trouble, but would be warned about that since it's vague and can be anything from showing their cool gun collection, to threatening to shoot.

Now a video of actual murder... You better believe thats harassment. No question about it. Immediate removal.

And as the comment above - if he's sending that to you, he absolutely will be sending nasty shit to your other coworkers, especially to those who can't speak up or are too afraid.

philpo , 2 months ago

From my understanding your colleague committed a crime under the Indecent Displays (Control) Act 1981 and you can refer the matter to the police - which I would strongly recommend as this is beyond an employee-employer relationship.

And it brings the employer into a position that the company is forced to make sure that the offender cannot reoffend against anyone (not just you). While the first offense is nothing the company can really be held liable for, anything after they have (officially) made aware they can be held liable for.

DeltaTangoLima , 2 months ago

Straight to HR - that fucker needs sacking. This is the very definition of bullying and harassment.

intensely_human , 2 months ago

I think the more important question is: why did you not make the complaint? You said that you would, and you know it’s the right move, but you haven’t done it. Instead you came here to ask what would happen. Why?

doubtingtammy , 2 months ago

It's already well known at work that I don't just not like gore videos but that I hate them and actively avoid them.

What the FUCK is going on at your work? I know this isn't always an option, but I suggest you run away. A workplace where you're considered the weird one because you don't like snuff vids? I really doubt a complaint could fix that environment, it sounds rotten to the core

Melatonin , 2 months ago

Not acceptable. I don't know laws in the UK but that person should lose their job. Workplace harassment is a serious offense, as you are REQUIRED to be there, so your employer is required to provide you with a safe, harassment-free workplace.

Keep evidence, keep everything, report everything, and keep doing it. Keep personal logs of who you talked to and when, what was said, even if there's no other record. It's possibly going to cost you your "team member" status, but that's what the harasser is counting on. They are sadistic, and they're going out of their way to make your life miserable and endanger your job and peace of mind.

Show them no mercy.

inb4_FoundTheVegan , 1 month ago

All the advice about going to HR is great, and you absolutely should.

But on a personal note, I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. Absolutely not even remotely okay for him to do this and you are well within your rights to force an end to this. Wildly unprofessional behavior and down right creepy behavior just on a personality level.

I hope you find peace from him soon.

Donebrach , 2 months ago

In the US and this sounds like a text book case of harassment and is illegal and absolutely should lead to termination of the offending party. I imagine the UK has stronger labor laws to protect workers, so uh, go to your HR department and whatever the local government labor board equivalent is. You should absolutely not put up with this shitty behavior from anyone.

ghost_of_faso2 , 2 months ago

I imagine the UK has stronger labor laws to protect workers

ahahahaha

no

in the UK you are basically 'at will' for the first two years of any job, you can be fired for no reason.

privatizetwiddle , 2 months ago

Most of the US is 'at will' forever for almost any job.

ghost_of_faso2 , 2 months ago

so basically no better than the UK but you get 3-4x the salary, and sometimes have to pay for healthcare?

(the NHS is fucked)

iAvicenna , 2 months ago

your colleague is likely a borderline psychopath or antisocial at best (not asocial, antisocial big difference)

Amanduh , 2 months ago

I could see this just being someone who is immature and thinking they're being funny, like someone who is ticklish but doesn't like being tickled and people keep tickling them randomly.

To be clear I am not condoning the actions of this person, if the op doesn't want to see gore videos then their wishes should be respected. I'm just thinking back to younger me and I was such an asshole =/

MrBobDobalina , 2 months ago

TW: suicide

Similar happened to me about 15 years ago, and it still bothers me. Mine was out of the blue though, nobody had shared anything remotely violent or gory in the team. One guy decides to share a 'funny' video with a subject line of 'always search your detainees' or something. A guy gets seated in a room by a cop, asks for some water, cop leaves, guy sits for a moment, then pulls out a handgun and shoots himself in the head. I had headphones on and still remember the sound of his last 'exhale' after dying. Fucked me up for a while.

In short, don't stand for this shit. It's no joke how much it can affect you if you aren't desensitised already, especially if you aren't expecting it.

lemmyreader , 2 months ago

Another thing you can consider is to find a good mediator and then have a chat with your colleague to talk about your boundaries and about their motives. You got lots of down-votes for your reluctance to complain and have the colleague fired and that made me think that your colleague getting fired might make things worse. Who knows what more horrible things the person would do after that. Something more constructive must be possible.