What are your best intrusive ads ideas?

If your job was to come up with greater enshittification for society, what would you do?

My ideas:

  1. Rental apartments where every wall has a screen with ads 24/7. You can pay cheaper rent to live with ads in every wall or you can pay a monthly subscription to turn off the ads (you don't get to use the screens for anything else tho). After people get used to it we can start adding a little bit of ads even for the subscription users, just a little less.

  2. Movie theaters. This one is obvious, why did anyone think it was ok to give people access to uninterrupted movies just because they paid a couple bucks? We should include some ads in the middle of movies in the cinema duh.

  3. Water and electricity. Private utility providers should be able to require you to watch a certain amount of ads on their apps in order to deliver their services to you every month (you still also pay normally ofc).

  4. Alarm clocks. Smartphones should delete the option to pick a custom sound for alarm and instead wake you up with loud ads. Installing any custom alarm app should require root and we should lobby government to ban devices with alarm clocks which are not smart.

  5. Unified ad-watching score. Similar to credit score, you will gain points by not skipping ads, having the selfie camera turned on while watching an ad (to make sure you looking), having the microphone on to make sure it isn't muted, etc. Every platform contributes to your score. They can use your ad-watching score to give you benefits or punish you as they please.

inspxtr ,

Lol ads that can be engineered into DNA, so that they can be passed down for generations.

GreatDong3000 OP ,

We could end up engineering birth marks with arbitrary shapes like the Nike logo which may be passed on to offspring

FireWire400 ,
@FireWire400@lemmy.world avatar

I bet someone will find a way to do that with CRISPR CAS-9...

letsgo ,

A transparent ad centred on your mouse cursor.

Railing5132 ,

Noah, get the boat!

crozilla ,

Every marketing executive:
(taking notes)

Railing5132 ,

Are you kidding? OP is getting us to write their Master's thesis in Marketing right now!

FireWire400 ,
@FireWire400@lemmy.world avatar

You've heard of the ad-financed television; here comes the ad-financed phone! Wanna turn it on? Just watch a 30-second ad and it'll boot straight up, still better than your old phone, eh? Wanna place a call? That'll be a 2-minute ad (emergency calls require longer ads since they're more important).

But the best thing: It's 100% free*, only thing you have to do is agree to our insanely long EULA!

(Not available in the European Union due to their boring laws)

Donebrach ,
@Donebrach@lemmy.world avatar

Quit crowdsourcing your goddamn school assignments.

Teon ,
@Teon@kbin.social avatar

No one is allowed to wear "work clothes" anymore, like a suit & tie or any professional type of clothing like that. Instead you will be required to wear clothing covered with printed ads in ALL professions. The police, doctors, bus driver, newscaster, everyone everywhere while at work.

AlligatorBlizzard ,

If you go the NASCAR route, it'd make it way easier to find out who bought your politicians. And which pharma company bought lunch for your doctor last week.

Teon ,
@Teon@kbin.social avatar

Exactly.

ActionHank , (edited )

I would auction shelf space at my mega chain grocery store to large brands. The highest bidder would have the opportunity to buy up all the shelf space in order to bury any potential competition. The bidder could create 100s of different labels of essentially the same goddamn product, in order to maintain the illusion of choice, maximize consumer confusion, and thus maximize the time a customer spends thinking about the shelf-dominant brand, for some otherwise dead-simple purchase, such as toothpaste.

LemmyFeed ,

Ummm I think they already do this...

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

Give a discount on food purchases so long as people agree to having every purchase tracked abd their data sold to marketing companies so they can figure out how to manipulate people into buying more shit they don't need.

People's food purchases are already scanned in before they buy them, so all that's needed is to get people to scan in some kind of card to connect their purchases to their identity. A small discount can be offered so people will fill out a form connecting their identity to the card and then every time they scan the card with their purchases we can track everything they buy forever.

Oh wait, that's actually already commonplace.,

dutchkimble ,

The movie thing happens in India since ages ago, they call it intervals. Tons of ads before a movie starts and during the interval. Nice for a pee break and to buy snacks, but they obviously overdo it, movies never start on time, and the whole experience is shitty.

mudeth ,

For some context, it's because Indian movies were conventionally much longer in length (2.5 to 3 hours). Movies are written to have a cliffhanger at the interval, so much so that it's sometimes referred to as a meta joke.

dmegatool ,
@dmegatool@lemmy.ca avatar

This guy ads

A_Chilean_Cyborg ,
@A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl avatar

Regulatory bodies, save us!

kinttach ,
@kinttach@lemm.ee avatar

Ad-based apps on your phone.

It’s been done already, you say? Not like this: the front-facing camera is used to detect eye gaze. A counter on the screen starts at 30 seconds and only counts down while you are looking at the screen. If you look away, the counter, and the ad, pauses. The app doesn’t continue until you’ve watched the entire ad.

mdwhite999 ,

Even better. The countdown resets if you look away

Minarble ,

Faaaaaak Please delete this before they see it!

Ohbs ,
@Ohbs@lemmy.world avatar

That's the next level of what turned me away from Spotify the very first time I used it years ago. Their ads would pause if you muted the audio or even lowered the volume too close to muted. Sure, I could take off my headphones, but it was a matter of principle at that point.

Jimmyeatsausage ,

Per-swipe ads on phones. Free tier: every 5 swipes, regardless of app, full screen unskippable ads (content saved to devices locally so airplane mode doesn't stop it). Then you pay more to increase the number of swipes you get between ads.

GreatDong3000 OP ,

Great idea. We can also set a timer for the wifi on your phone to be disconnected automatically and you have to watch an ad before the time runs out to postphone it.

bstix ,

Escalator commercial break. Stops the escalator until the ad is done.

KittenBiscuits ,

"this escalator is temporarily stairs. You're welcome." -Mitch Hedberg

The real one to worry about is stopping the elevator for an ad break. You're trapped now bitches!

bstix ,

If only I had paid for quick walking.

GreatDong3000 OP ,

One ad break between each floor or pay for direct lift that is a killer idea.

kromem , (edited )

A MLM style whisper campaign app your friends can run where it actually listens in on the conversation and allows them to make money for dropping product mentions and recommendations to you and others during hang outs and in person conversations with the recording to tag and prove they actually mentioned it.

GreatDong3000 OP ,

Cool we can turn this into a new gig work app. The uber of ads. You open up the app and pay people small amounts to name drop something in a conversation. You could pay like 50 cents per person to 200 different people in your area to name drop your small business, that shit would slap. Then we could start using this to make people say anything for 50 cents each time they say it so we can spread fake news and gossip. I like this version of the future so much.

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