Process affinity for anxiety set to 16/16 cores all days all hours
Process affinity for literally anything else is determined by adhd rolling a d20, the result is your one and only process thread for the next 5 minutes unless it rolls a nat 1 then you get 16 for 5 mins. Also you'd better hope the result isnt 17-20 cause if it is that shits soooo goooone lol
Executive dysfunction is probably the worst part of having ADHD. That and having issues regulating emotions.
I can't just clean, theres so much to clean that cleaning is just an insurmountable task on top of all the other things that i have to do first to even BEGIN cleaning.
I find that breaking my tasks into much smaller little tasks helps a lot. That way instead of failing to do one task I'm failing to do 50... wait.
Joking aside breaking the tasks apart helps me a lot. It's not "I need to clean my apartment," it's, "I need to clean my living room, bedroom, and dining room." And even that more task heavy list gets broken down a lot where basically each room becomes zones.
I might not finish the living room today but cleaning that end table will be something I can revel in finishing.
For me it also helps me practicing point-and-call for the tasks I need to do. It helps lowering my chance of getting distracted while I'm doing something and also helps prevent mistakes on more complicated tasks.
Oh yea, I've used this before and still do. But this only works to a point and for me, being medicated was my best option.
My first session with my pysch, she said it sounds like youre already doing everything i would normally recommend before prescribing medication so i think we should try meds.
Not that these kinds of things dont help, just sometimes needs to be paired with meds as well.
One of two things happen: more commonly, I break it down too far. Now, the task isn't "clean", it's about 28 steps of get x cleaner and y supplies and scrub this clean and wash that and do the thing over there to tidy up, etc. Then, once I'm done making a task list for this one very simple thing I need to do, and micromanaging every aspect of it via a list of things to do, I'm now overwhelmed by the massive list of things I need to do in order to accomplish this one very simple task.
On the flip side, if I don't micro manage myself into task paralysis, I end up breaking it into smaller sections, like "clean living room" and "clean bedroom" etc.... And make an agreement with myself to do one today, one tomorrow, etc, until everything is cleaned. So today I only need to clean room x, and I'll do room y tomorrow. So I clean room x, but I don't want to put away all the cleaning stuff, I'll just need it tomorrow, so I put it in the corner ready to go for tomorrow. I accomplished something, I cleaned a room. I'll do the rest later. About three months later, I'll wonder why the cleaning supplies are sitting out, and remember I was supposed to clean room y. Feeling like a failure, I'll be unhappy with myself and instead of getting back to that task I'll just put the cleaning stuff away, because if I'm going to start over, I'll need to clean room x again. You see, the dopamine from getting room x cleaned that one time basically made my brain say "yep, task is done, we cleaned" then file it away in the completed file, never to be thought of again.
For me, I have to go all or nothing and just fight my task paralysis head on. I don't often win, but if I don't, things never get finished.
This, this, 1000% this. And if I do somehow manage to start, I can NOT stop. None of this "do x for y minutes, take z minute break, then go back to doing x." If I stop, I don't know when I'll be able to start again. Which then feeds back into the "overwhelming" loop.
Oh yeah the "go for x, break for y, then go again" thing never works for me unless it's go for hours with headphones on, then break in a specific manner for 10-15 minutes, then go again. Then maybe I'll be able to finish properly.
It shouldn't feel like we have to fight our brains to get shit done but I swear half the time it feels like I have to enter the Goddamned Konami Code just to get my shit done lol.
I have a buddy with adhd and he's also a musician.
He forgot he had to make a music video.
Not like he really ought to make one to market himself. He is contractually obligated to make a music video and he forgot.... well he forgot until it was just barely possible if everything went smoothly and he ran himself ragged.
I'm just fighting back against the pharma ads that keep coming out of this community. Regular human activity and thought process don't justify you to try a bunch of different hardcore drugs. Your way of doing mental math doesn't give you disability status. Overthinking adult responsibilities doesn't mean you're different minded. If you think you have ADHD then I welcome you and hope you get the care you need to adjust and live happily, but don't show weakness to these people: they smell blood.
Look mate, in this world the most common and consistent scheme you'll ever experience is somebody trying to convince you that you need their product. If you don't believe me then that's fine, go take your drugs.
I'm so tired of this dumb trope. No, your self-diagnosis is not helpful. And yes, you can get diagnosed if you're poor. There are many ways to do so, you dont have to go through a fancy psychiatrist, and the US public Healthcare system will actually pay for it.
Man, even knowing how fucked 'murica is it still keeps surprising you with more fucked stuff. It just never crossed my mind that getting a diagnosis could cost money for someone.
it's even funnier when you might have any given variety of mental disorders.
Could be ADHD, could be autism, hell might be both or neither! Could be SzPD, could be a variant of that, could be any other generic personality disorder. Hell maybe i'm just shitposting and i'm perfectly normal!
So now that balloons to the period of about 5 years, 20 tests, and many thousands of dollars, both spent and lost.
OH and how could i forget. It does precisely, almost nothing. Because disability is super fucked. And any other services that do exist are probably also a nightmare, so what's even the fucking point of having them!
i feel like it's situational. I've talked to a lot of people that do have ADHD, and are quite fond of their medication as it makes them extremely functional, but part of me is irked by the fact that it might be a secondary effect due to association. (i suspect they want to be a part of society, and as a result the medication making them capable of doing it quickly becomes a part of themselves) If this is the case, there is an argument to be made for the fact that our society simply isn't built to deal with the people it contains.
Part of me wonders whether ADHD was an evolutionary adaptation due to the presumed utility of it in ancient society.
I may have ADHD, and if so, i find it to be an extreme hindrance to doing normal people things, like at all. However, outside of that im perfectly fine and i would argue probably benefited by it, because it often keeps my brain busy thinking about things and doing stuff, which is good for your mental health (physically) there's a reason a lot of my time in my life has been spent covering various different interests and hobbies, and i think this, whatever it is, is part of it. Doing one thing is just really boring, and i can't be bothered. And if proper treatment (medication in this case) removes that, i would rather not be medicated to be honest.
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