Hey friend. All you can do is get medicated as best you can and learn to say the right words to get what you want out of therapy and make them take you seriously. But make your continued existence your rebellion.
Edit: and granola bars, nutrient drinks, some fruit, few nuts. Learn what your body wants/needs day to day and eating can become a relatively easy chore when you don't have the spoons for food prep. But remember starving fucks with your head.
I know I've been fucked in the head literally forever because I remember at 12 years old I gave the sky the finger saying "I know something wants me to just kill myself but you can go fuck yourself."
That's changed now lol I'm tired of being a rebel, but at least I have a family that cares about me so I won't be doing anything final to myself.
Fwiw severe depression with ADHD is a shitty combo because if they give you Adderall without getting the depression taken care of you might just have enough energy to off yourself now.
Adderall gave me panic attacks during routine problems at work. I pretty much went through all of the stimulants ~20 years ago before I said "no mas" to the pharma-go-round. I'd been rawdogging reality for 25 years, how bad could it get?
Oof that sounds a lot like what my experience was. None of the meds worked, some worked at making me a goddamn zombie, but not being able to function at work just makes life even more difficult.
Then life goes: here buddy, have the Trump era and a smidge of climate catastrophe, that'll help.
My friend your first steps that you should do right now are:
Get up from the toiltet
Grab a glass and drink it
Then make yourself a sandwich
Then continue from there
And each of those small tasks is a boulder that needs to go up and over the mountain. And there's no satisfaction for handling boulder #1, because boulder #2 has been looming the whole time. And so on. And when all of the boulders have finally been moved, the next mountain is right there. It's different than the first mountain, and all of the boulders are different. Each boulder and mountain takes more and more energy. There's no end. No reward for finishing. Just boulders all the way down. Or up, in this case.
I know it's a grating saying, but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. It's true.
You don't have to succeed, you don't have to enjoy it, it won't be easy, but you do have to keep trying. Try to do whatever single action you can get yourself to do in the given moment that gets you closer to your goal. Then do it again. And again. Again. Etc etc etc. You'll at least be closer, and that's something.
Maybe the whole point is to figure it out? Do you expect capable people to just take care of you? Not trying to be mean, but you sound like you've made up your mind to just be dead weight
It was a joke my guy. I didn't really expect that toilet water would cure depression lol. Also "just figure it out" has to be the worst advice for depression ever. If it was easy to figure out alone then no one would have depression.
I do deal with depression and although it's a struggle that won't end, healthy habits such as eating well and staying hydrated do help, which is what the original comment stated just to be ridiculed. Depression may not be our fault, but it is ours to deal with.
If you have depression then i am ashamed that you don't have the common sense and empathy for someone else who is struggling with it. Now please do yourself a favor and fix that lil problem. Here's a hint: You fix it by going away. This easy to follow instruction will improve both our lives. Try it now!
Buddy, empathy doesn't mean "allow someone to continue with plainly disordered thinking because it's what they know". I'm not the person you're upset with, but the first step in getting over any problem is to force yourself to take that first step.
You're welcome to hate it, to not want to. It will absolutely be hard, often to the point of feeling actually impossible. It is going to suck, potentially forever.
But you still need to try if you want any hope of getting out of it. Progress is almost imperceptibly slow, but you will make progress if you keep trying.
Expecting the planets to align and for yourself to suddenly not have this battle to fight with yourself through no action of your own is like expecting to win the lottery when you haven't even bought a ticket.
This is the difference between telling someone what they want to hear so they don't feel worse in the moment, and pointing them towards a solution that might lead to betterness longer term.
I am formally diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I was informally diagnosed with an autism spectrum "condition" (not sure the term at the moment) by a retired spectrum diagnostician I lived with for a few months. Don't try to tell me I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about here. I've lived it.
Hmm. I read your thing, but I'm not sure how to respond. On one hand, you make a good point. On the other hand, you seem like youre looking for a fight. Why? Why defend someone who, if they had spoken half as eloquently as you, would not have to have their comment moderated? I just don't get the whole point of your comment, no offense, and certainly not your anger. Who/what is it you are actually mad at here?
Why dont you go tell [the] paralyzed to just get up and pick something up off the shelf. Its so easy, isnt it? They just made their mind up to be dead weight and have people take care of them.
Just because you dont suffer from something or cant physically see it doesnt mean its not real, and just because you are capable of something doesnt mean everyone is, even if they WANT to be capable of it.
Eeesh, this feels too close to medication shaming to me - I know we all find different things effective but medication works extremely well for me and I've still got my moral code.
I thought he meant, that it seems that the "normals" would see someone that knows what is right or wrong as someone that's not "normal". Because "normal" people usually don't give a fuck about justice. "Normal" people have a very selfish moral code.
Possibly? I'm open to having taken this the wrong way but to me it sounded like his statement implied that being a moral person and taking medication were incompatible or at least implied that medication makes you less moral.
I watched it again and i think honestly it could be both. What's missing is the context in which he is saying this. There's, for me at least, no way to know where he's coming from, by only viewing this snippet.
The context is that he's doing a stand-up comedy routine. Although "it's funny because it's true" is a thing, he's not necessarily endorsing every single punchline as his closely-held genuine belief.
People are allowed to be critical of entertainment, and that includes comedy. In fact, sometimes you should be critical of things that people brand as "comedy".
Sometimes things are problematic, regardless of their intent as "comedy". And that's normal. Comedy often ages very poorly. Remember all those movies that used rape & sexual assault as a punchline? Should we not be critical of blackface because it's supposed to be "comedy"? Should we turn off our brains because "it's just a joke"?
You're allowed to laugh. Others are allowed to be more critical. Both are valid.
I'll shame meds all day long because I am pissed off they force fed me them starting at age 7. I was strongly effected by the side effects to the point I truly believe it fucked my brain up a bit, but nobody seemed to care because I was quieter during class. I wasn't given a choice in the matter. I think it's ok to be against meds, and it's ok to be for them. They can do amazing things but they're not a fix all solution for everyone.
You can have my meds when you pry them from my cold dead hands. It's not ok to be against something people do of their own free will that helps them out and doesn't hurt anyone.
I'm not forcing anyone not to take them, and I'm not judging people that do in any way shape or form. I think it's great that it works so well for so many people. I'm still going to voice my concerns because it's important to remember they're not perfect and they aren't the best solution for everyone. I wish someone spoke up for me about that when I was a child and no one was listening to me about the issues I was having with the meds. To me, it's not ok to assume every single person with ADHD will benefit from meds. Especially children.
I think for some people they are good. For people like you and me not so much. I think that they permanently messed up my brain too. What are your symptoms?
It's not the moral code that's the issue, it's that people with ADHD tend to act impulsively on things they view as unjust, like you're temporarily blinded to the consequences of your actions.
Medication can help a lot with making a more measured response, or deciding that's it's not worth it to pursue any further.
This is the joke. Absurdist hyperbole only works with a shared assumption or common sense to play against.
If there’s an intended target of this joke, it’s definitely not medication. It would be the inscrutability of the wording of that clinical guideline, which seems to imply morality is divergent but can be cured with stimulants.
7 is closer to 10 than 6 so we consider that 7 is really just a 10 with a size-3 hole in it and we fill that hole with 3 from the 6 giving a 10 with 3 left over which make 13.
When people say "touch grass" it usually means that the internet shouldn't influence your mental health. Unless any of the states decisions directly impact you, you can think about what you can do to influence it, but if you find yourself spiraling about it, its time to log off. Maybe start knitting idk
Yup, I'm guessing that'll do it all right. Knit a few pairs of socks, and just normalize the world away!
This is why we are doomed. People take a look at the dumpster fire that's life now and say, "Have you tried knotting socks and not being sad?"
Myself, I reply with what I hope is understanding and compassion, and say, "Yes indeed, things look bleak. You, unknown internet person, are not alone in feeling this way"
Yeah the 'idk' part is the important one because as a generation we've been so dependent on devices for everything from entertainment to productivity that we have no fucking clue what to do AFK. This has been a bitter struggle for me lately. I feel my life slipping away from me click by click but whenever I try to go offline my dopamine system SCREAMS at me to dig up the tablet I buried in my car's trunk.
Yep, this has absolutely been what I've had to do.
No single one of us is the protagonist in some story where we'll be the ones to tip the scales in what's wrong with the world. Do what you can, where you can, and focus on the world around you. What directly effects you and those you care about.
There is not enough energy in any single person to be able to care about everything, and you'll just burn yourself out for trying. This is true even in neurotypicals. It's why people aren't running around screaming constantly about the shit situations going on. It's why people don't seem to care, they can't possibly care about absolutely everything.
So you, like them, have to at least try to exert some control over what you spend your time and mental energy on. It's sure as fuck not easy and it doesn't help improve shit in the grander world, but spiraling isn't easy on you either and it also doesn't help. It just makes you feel worse about everything.
I know this sounds just like someone telling you to "just focus more", "just don't be sad", "just don't worry". But that's not it. It's not that simple. Never will be.
Even though it will likely be astronomically harder for you, you can exert some will and effort against the roiling storm of your own internal state. Anyone saying that it is literally impossible is letting the bad inside them win. Sometimes it is truly too much amd you have to, but you shouldn't live in that space forever, and you need to remind yourself that it isn't impossible whenever other people who are in a bad place are letting it win.
That internal bad is the bad you most need to try and fight, not the bad effecting the whole world.
The bad inside you may win. It may win most of the time, sometimes you might have to let it win because it's too mich at the moment, but you need to try to fight it as much as you are able to. You don't have to win, you just have to keep trying, as much and as often as you can.
Like if you haven't eaten in 8 hours, and there's food in your house, just eat some of it. Doesn't matter what it is, if it's appealing (is it ever when you feel like this?), if you don't think it will help (do you ever think it will before you eat when you feel like this?), if you don't want to (again, do you ever want to do anything when you're spiraling like this?) Go shove some fucking slop into your goblin mouth. Something's better than nothing. Hold onto whatever tiny bits of progress you can grasp by the edge of your fingertips and try to keep moving forward.
The secret is that you can do this. It sucks. It's not easy. It may take years and external help. But it is possible. And it has been the most worthwhile thing I've ever done in my life to just keep trying.
Just wanted to say thank you for this reply. Trying to un-knot and maybe get something accomplished today so I need the in-depth reply spoons elsewhere. But it's appreciated.
I wish this had been me. Instead I stayed at one cushy but low paying job for a decade, then a progressively more and more toxic and stressful one for another decade before I limped away. AuDHD/anxiety/depression is a bitch of a bear trap.
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