Another way to express the "adult diagnosis is difficult" phenomenon is this:
Adult ND people will to some extent have organised our lives according to our needs. So "how much are you struggling" can be a deceptively complex question to answer.
I manage mostly ok because I don't have children, I found a work from home job that allows a lot of solitude, and those 2 things allow me to self regulate more easily.
I didn't know I was autistic when I made all the decisions that led to this lifestyle, I was just lucky enough to be able to choose according to my innate needs.
If I happened to be in a different situation (raising small children, working a unpredictable job that requires a lot of social interaction) my autistic traits would be way more disabling, I'd seem far more obviously autistic from the outside as well as internally.
So if you're still figuring this stuff out, take all that into consideration as well.