Well, I've been awake long enough I can doze despite having a racing heart and pounding blood pressure from the adrenaline and cortisol. I silenced everything in my "home" and was dropping off for minutes at a time for a couple hours.
My building manager just pounded on my door to alert me that the city had to emergency shut off the water, and promised to return and cop knock again when it was back on. She didn't knock on any of my neighbor's doors. The water is fine. It was a lie to wake me up. Hell--the liquor store just opened, but I'm too fucked up to walk that far. They took all the weed out of the weed stores as well. I'll bleed instead.
When I met her, she made a big deal about honorable behavior. She's a good christian, and has about the same relationship to honorable behavior as The Donald.
I loaned her my flash drive because I have about the only copy of a netflix documentary they took out of the American catalog about five years ago. Maybe it's back now, but we weren't allowed to know what happens to our drone pilots for a while. I tried to do something nice for her since she was a drone pilot. Of course, she stole my flash drive.
So she kisses up and kicks down. Totally enjoying the cruelty she gets to inflict.
I'm so tired. I'm tired of this kind of crazy shit happening all the goddamn time. I'm tired of staying awake for five+ days on end. And I'm tired of being a universal scapegoat. I'm tired of being a dumping ground for everyone's cruelty. I need one ally.
I popped a blood vessel in my brain two weeks ago. My vision went all wonkey for a half hour.
I just want to die.
I'll tell ya--trumpers like this cunt are right. If you/don't/ rape, if you /don't/ hate, if you /don't/ cheerfully and arrogantly murder strangers, the state will simply torture you to death for setting a bad example.
Can I get off my cross now?
National Bird is worth watching if you are allowed:
@Uair@actuallyautistic wtaf. Samaritans can’t fix any of that, but they can listen and maasaaybe be able to signpost? Or even report any of it anonymously? Damn.