The power of mentoring for me as an autistic adult and mature university student:
Just had my last (maybe, ever) mentor session with a mentor who has supported me with my university studies since December 2021. All thanks to the Disabled Students Allowance (England / UK). It’s just hitting me now how sad I am and how much I’ll miss her.
I didn’t really know what mentoring was beforehand, didn’t know why it was recommended to me as an autistic student by my DSA assessor, but finding such a wonderful mentor has literally been life changing, not to mention that I’ve finally completed a degree after several (5!) attempts!
As a mature student, my mentor said that my mentoring sessions focused more on helping me remember experience and skills I mostly already had and encouraging me to find ways to apply them in this new context (in university studies). I often got completely stuck, couldn’t break down big challenges into smaller, manageable problems to solve, so she would ask me questions to help me uncover more information and do this for myself. She never gave me the answers, only an occasional toolset or framework for me to use. Basically, she was helping me to help myself, otherwise known as ‘self-management principles’. This is massively empowering due to the long-term benefits. I did also sometimes need help with basics that the younger students needed help with too, like ensuring I have food at home to sustain me, especially during the most intense times. Each term, each module, each assessment all presented new situations and challenges, as it does for all students, so this skill development process was ongoing and ever changing.
The goals I chose for the mentor sessions always included getting into the habit of remembering well-being and incorporating it into my plans and daily habits. As someone who also has a chronic illness, this is essential. I am still not the best at this, though, but I’m grateful for this practice, the chance to pick up new skills and toolsets, and especially all the chances to reflect on my progress with someone who gently held me accountable (to my own goals).
My first assigned mentor was a bad fit, though - very unreliable, disorganised. I’m so glad I mentioned this to the company that supplied the mentors, and especially talked about the challenges to me as an autistic student. They heard me out and assigned me to this different mentor very quickly.
I’m sharing all this in the hopes it inspires someone else to accept support when it’s available and they think it could help them. It felt SO strange to me to have this support after so many adult years without it, but I now see why it was recommended to me. The positive effects and skills I learned will stay with me for life, well beyond the degree.
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If you have a positive story about accepting support for a disability, feel free to share it below. It could be during academic studies, or could be at work, or in general life. We don’t all NEED support, and not all the time, but many of us struggle to accept help when it’s available and we need it most. I know I certainly do.
