Having a “OMFG I want to be spontaneously adventurous, exploring the world like I dreamed I would be by now” kinda day.
Feeling massive frustration, coming out as boredom initially. It absolutely sucks to have a physically-limiting illness like ME/CFS. It feels like I keep crushing the light of my spirit daily to keep going. Any exertion has to be carefully contained and dosed, otherwise it costs me in: long-term health declines, anything on my calendar as it’ll need to be cancelled, relationships, etc etc etc. Even massive JOY or excitement has triggered PEM!
Feeling this way today is also GOOD because it means I’m feeling better after my recent lengthier PEM crash and mild respiratory virus. Feeling like ‘myself’ which rarely happens day-to-day… even though the respiratory virus is still there. It’s good to feel good.
Think I’m also reacting to my weekly group NHS calls with other patients about ME/CFS. Two said they also had ADHD. And also reacting to realising I’m most likely AuDHD rather than just autistic. Claiming the ADHD side feels good, yet it’s also damn painful.
Just hope this allows me to find ways to add more spontaneity and energy and exploration into my days sometimes… no idea how when ME/CFS dulls my light most of the time, but it’s important I try! I miss that complete FREEDOM. 🐎
@AnAutieAtUni@actuallyadhd@actuallyautistic
✨️✨️ peeling these layers is so much... I'm only self realized asd... and still on the fence about adhd...I'd travel with you ..I know those frustrated dreaming days.. I'm stimming in the treadmill to move that buzzin in my head atm 😮💨