@Zumbador@actuallyautistic My operating theory is that you can't just tell allistics some information, but you also have to tell them how they should feel about it. Them offering you a chance to decide can be seen as a gesture of showing they care about what you want. If you don't engage with the decision, they can feel you don't appreciate that or that you don't care what they want. When they ask you to make that kind of choice, it's hardly ever just about that choice. When you push the choice back at them, they may take it as a rejection of their feelings or that you don't care about them.
One way I have handled this in various groups was to make common choices into a game with simple rules. Choosing a place to eat was easy: you have to suggest a place to start things off, and to reject an idea you have to provide an alternate suggestion. You could also just pass and accept the group's decision. The particular rules of that little game don't matter as much as that we had a standard way to work that out with minimal confusion or frustration.
The Double Empathy Problem cuts both ways. It shouldn't always be on us to adapt to allistic communication norms. But it's hard to get allistics to even realize that's a thing, let alone do the work to meet us halfway. So if you make it a standard ritual interaction, everyone knows how to meet in the middle and no one gets confused and allistics don't have to work too hard either.