One reason why it took me so long to self-diagnose autism is that I thought I don't stim. In fact, once I learned that I do stim, my self-diagnosis process kicked in. That was the first time I said to myself that I might actually be autistic.
The reason for this misunderstanding was that I thought stimming is stereotypical, very repetitive, compulsory movement. I guess this misunderstanding is quite common.
I've since learned that stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is basically stimulating one's sensory system in certain ways. It may be a way to soothe oneself, help to focus in overwhelming situations by feeding one's brain predictable sensory input, a way to express joy, or simply something that feels nice. Movements are part of it but any sense can be used.
When googling the term, there are mentions that also neurotypicals stim but that when diagnosing autism, stimming is somehow different -- only socially unacceptable stims are "real" stims. Bah.
I've started paying attention to how and when I stim, and collect a list of stims I do. I've noticed all types of stimming behavior (soothing, focusing, joy, fun). I do it more than before -- or maybe I just notice it more often. I've noticed that I love moving my body parts, especially to music. I also love different textures.
Chair rocking and leg wiggling were one of the earliest I remember. Not that anyone would've thought to diagnose me then. Staring out the window and caricaturing teachers was not enough then.
I got really good at invisible stims. Using music, leaning against things, pressing my nails into my skin.
It would take years until I thought of any of these as stims 😹
@kalikiana@LehtoriTuomo@actuallyautistic
What I call, hidden stims. It took me ages to work out half the things I do on the quiet and in ways that meant that they weren't obvious, even to me.
@kalikiana@LehtoriTuomo@actuallyautistic
When I first started to realise I was autistic, I didn't actually think I stimmed at all. Until I started to realise how much of what I do, fidgeting, doodling, constantly moving my toes in my shoes, finger flickers and so many other things, were all stims. That I, in fact, pretty much stim like a bunny on meth all the time. 😂
When I first took quizzes at 63 I was convinced I didn't stim. I dislike the word because of it's negative connotations.
I realized that I've bitten my fingernails since I was a child. Nothing would stop it. I still do it, often the skin around the nails. I run my teeth under the few I keep.
As I've gotten older I've started picking my ear hairs with tweezers.
When I retired I didn't need to shave every day. I pull whiskers as soon as the hairs get long.
Same, honestly (though in my 40s). I don't stim at all!
... I just bite my nails, tap my fingers together, wiggle my knee, move my toes in my shoes, hum under my breath, play with my hair, wiggle in my seat, repeat words with some variation (like be-bow-boo ... or even less senseful), and ... and ... and ... >.>
I'm self diagnosed and somewhat ambivalent about getting a formal diagnosis. I worry about there being more negatives than positives from "making it official".
Are there any lists of things that are stimming?
I say "bada bing bada boom Betty Boop" as quickly as I can because I like the way it feels saying it fast. Something about the vibration is like a horse galloping.
Other than that, it's more a thing I have with even touching. If I step on a crack with one part of my foot, I have a compulsion to step on a crack with the same part of the other foot.
Be Kind, I don't know if you listen to podcasts, but The Neurodivergent Woman podcast did a really good episode on stimming recently.
They talk to a woman who is doing research on stimming from an autistic perspective.
Basically the "official" established view is that stimming is a repetitive movement behaviour that serves no purpose. (notice the neurotypical point of view!)
But autistic people tend to define stimming as any behaviour that helps you regulate yourself. It might be repetitive movement (tapping, rocking, flapping hands) or it might be listening to nature sounds, or looking at patterns and colours, or saying satisfying phrases.
The definition of stimming, from an internal, autistic perspective is the intensity of the experience, and that it helps you regulate yourself.
@LehtoriTuomo@actuallyautistic Bingo. It's one of those begging the question things, where they pathologize autism, so anything associated with it must also be pathological. Stims that everyone does don't count as autistic stims because they are not pathological because normal people do them so they must be normal. (That sounds confusing because that's the nature of circular reasoning.)
And once you get there, where only stims that are pathological count as stims, you can't see the whole world of stims that don't look like broken versions of NT ideas of normal behavior. NT folk think it's normal to splash some cold water on your face to calm yourself down, to tap your toe when impatient, to doodle on a notepad in a meeting, or to knit while watching TV, so those things don't count as stimming. But even a little bit of hand flapping or toe walking can get us in trouble because it seems weird and pathological to folks with a more limited repertoire of stims.
Yes, music is my main stim. When ever I can, I have some music on.
My earlier stims also tended to be socially acceptable. When I did my homework in my room, I'd tap my desk in rhythm to the music. I just looked like someone enjoying the music.